Conduct Becoming of A Sorority Girl

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

I'd like to think that people take their vows to remain sisters as seriously as their vows to behave themselves. For instance, if a girl is repeatedly getting drunk at frat houses and doing things she shouldn't, is it ok to just kick her out, no questions asked? In my opinion, no. It's everyone else's duty as sisters to attempt to help her; volunteer to go with her to AA meetings, volunteer to be a go between with parents if they are difficult, volunteer to keep an eye on her at parties, that sort of thing. If she is given a second chance and refuses ALL help from EVERYONE who offers it, then I think her membership should be called into question. I take sisterhood very seriously...on the other hand I'm also aware that as college students we all have very limited resources when attempting to help others.

As for a member that is pregnant, I think that asking her to take alum (not inactive) status is reasonable. I don't see how she could possibly raise a child (especially as a single parent) AND fulfill all sorority obligations...and I don't think those that put themselves into a situation should be given slack in the obligations...let's be honest...an alcoholic had the choice, a pregnant girl had the choice, a girl hooked on drugs had the choice...a sister with cancer did not. BUT I do think as a sister she should be given all support that she needs and should not be shunned. Everyone makes stupid decisions and one thing I've struggled with is knowing that the people that condemn someone for, say, drinking underage and getting arrested did it themselves last night, or for "sleeping around" hooked up with a random guy at a party last weekend. Fortunately for them, they did not get caught or get pregnant. You can't really erase either of those things...college students make mistakes and some unlucky ones will pay...some never will.

[cuteASAbug]

How is dancing with a drink in your hand disrespecting your sorority? If anything it would be less of a risk management issue because if your drink is always in your hand, no one can slip anything in it.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

How is dancing with a drink in your hand disrespecting your sorority? If anything it would be less of a risk management issue because if your drink is always in your hand, no one can slip anything in it.

This is a good example of how current etiquette can do more harm than good. In any etiquette book I've ever read, walking or dancing with food or a drink (or smoking on the street) is simply not done. Yet, I'd much rather see a sister dance with a drink rather than risk a medically-enhanced rape. I'd like to think that future etiquette books will address this in the appropriate way.

Of course, the drink still should be in a glass, not a can or bottle.

[NutBrnHair]

Originally Posted by honeychile

This is a good example of how current etiquette can do more harm than good. In any etiquette book I've ever read, walking or dancing with food or a drink (or smoking on the street) is simply not done. Yet, I'd much rather see a sister dance with a drink rather than risk a medically-enhanced rape. I'd like to think that future etiquette books will address this in the appropriate way.

Perhaps the newer editions will simply suggest that a woman finish her drink before going to the dance floor.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

Perhaps the newer editions will simply suggest that a woman finish her drink before going to the dance floor.

That could be dangerous too...I mean, how many times do you go to the dance floor in a night? Suzie Q. could be drunk by 9 and passed out by 11.

[NutBrnHair]

Originally Posted by ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl

That could be dangerous too...I mean, how many times do you go to the dance floor in a night? Suzie Q. could be drunk by 9 and passed out by 11.

I'm sorry -- in my scenario the woman has enough class not to over-imbibe. I was just commenting on drinking while dancing.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

I'm sorry -- in my scenario the woman has enough class not to over-imbibe. I was just commenting on drinking while dancing.

Nice.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

I'm sorry -- in my scenario the woman has enough class not to over-imbibe. I was just commenting on drinking while dancing.

I don't equate common sense with class...especially not with the education on it I've gotten in college. I'm not a fan of the "well they're too classy for that" attitude. The "classy" people I have met...in high school too...were in general very pompous, uptight, and snobby. So I don't give a damn about classy...I'm more interested in people using common sense...AND having fun while doing it. One of the best women I have ever met drank beer out of a mason jar at parties back in her day, and sometimes too much. But she grew up and she's one of the most amazing people I know..."classy" people turn their noses up at her...THEIR loss!

PS-You severely over estimate the average college student.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

Perhaps the newer editions will simply suggest that a woman finish her drink before going to the dance floor.

Works for me! We were always told to only get half a glass anyway. That way, you can dump the cup when necessary.

Think we ought to put our heads together & write our own version?

[blackngoldengrl]

Originally Posted by NutBrnHair

Perhaps the newer editions will simply suggest that a woman finish her drink before going to the dance floor.

Yes, please do! It's annoying getting drinks spilled on a new dress or cute outfit, even when it's by a sister. Not to mention slipping on spilled drinks or falling on broken glass. Also, NO smoking on the dance floor please! I've been burned twice...not cool.

Originally Posted by ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl

As for a member that is pregnant, I think that asking her to take alum (not inactive) status is reasonable. I don't see how she could possibly raise a child (especially as a single parent) AND fulfill all sorority obligations...

I have to disagree with this. If a sister gets pregnant, she should be given a choice -- have the option to stay a collegian or opt for alumna status. 99.99999% of the time she'll choose alumna status, but simply ASKING her to go alum is unfair, IMO.

I wasn't at this Convention, but a sister once told me about the business meeting that included a very heated discussion about pregnant members. Naturally the traditionalists favored automatically changing her status to alum and the liberals favored giving her a choice. It was a very sensitive topic and lots of sisters were hurt regardless of the outcome.

Originally Posted by blackngoldengrl

Yes, please do! It's annoying getting drinks spilled on a new dress or cute outfit, even when it's by a sister. Not to mention slipping on spilled drinks or falling on broken glass. Also, NO smoking on the dance floor please! I've been burned twice...not cool.

Which is why I totally love the whole "NO DRINKS ON THE DANCE FLOOR!" rule many bars/clubs have out here.

Okay...back to your GDI discussion, sorry!

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

Originally Posted by OTW

I have to disagree with this. If a sister gets pregnant, she should be given a choice -- have the option to stay a collegian or opt for alumna status. 99.99999% of the time she'll choose alumna status, but simply ASKING her to go alum is unfair, IMO.

I wasn't at this Convention, but a sister once told me about the business meeting that included a very heated discussion about pregnant members. Naturally the traditionalists favored automatically changing her status to alum and the liberals favored giving her a choice. It was a very sensitive topic and lots of sisters were hurt regardless of the outcome.



Which is why I totally love the whole "NO DRINKS ON THE DANCE FLOOR!" rule many bars/clubs have out here.

Okay...back to your GDI discussion, sorry!

I guess here the issue would be her commitment...I just DON'T see how she could keep the obligations of a sister and raise a child...I mean even some students have a hard time meeting requirements. Much less students with a BABY. Our chapter is too small for deadweight...even if she doesn't mean to be, she is. It would be different if she gave it up for adoption of course.

[CZAXOTerp]

oops...

[NutBrnHair]

I agree, Terp -- and it doesn't matter in which part of the country you reside -- good manners and class are universal.