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She needs to talk to him about it. It IS reasonable for her to expect more, but it is UNreasonable for her to assume she's reading his mind, and that he can read hers.
If he's not very sexual, a shower to him could just be a shower. If she's upset about it, it's a problem, especially as it seems like it's been bothering her since the beginning. I doubt she's really just been letting it go.
Communication. If they will both talk about it, there would at least be understanding, if not agreement. And if the situation is one that she decides she does not want to tolerate, she should leave. But talk first.
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