Good Fraternities at Mississippi State?

[jwsteele]

Originally Posted by jessicaelaine

I don't see how a fraternity could hide the fact they are a "bad house" whatever that means. Maybe they can razzel dazzel a pnm with girls, alcohol, trophies, or whatever else, but anyone that is attracted to a fraternity because of those reasons is a tool bag.

I could not disagree more. That's ridiculous. As an incoming freshmen, the vast majority of guys coming into a school are going to want to be a part of something succesful. I was looking for brotherhood and a great group of guys that I shared a lot in common with. That being said, I also wanted to be part of a house that was at least a prominent force on campus where I could meet girls and play on good athletic intramural teams and have the money to throw huge events. If a house had great guys that I shared everything with I would obviously consider them even if they didn't do much socially, but at schools where there are 15+ fraternities there's going to be more than one house where you fit in. Why would you join the organization that doesn't have the money or the guys to be succesful?

And I don't mean "join the most exclusive chapter on campus"...but it's ridiculous for you to think you can judge the HUGE majority of freshmen guys as "toolbags" for wanting to be able to drink with their brothers and make friends with girls. That's pretty arrogant.

As a long time GC lurker I know that's not a way of thought many of you are likely to share. That's honestly how I feel though. You got to like the guys but you also have to be honest with yourself about what you are going to want in a fraternity experience and if the chapter you are considering will actually be able to provide it.

Originally Posted by jwsteele

I could not disagree more. That's ridiculous. As an incoming freshmen, the vast majority of guys coming into a school are going to want to be a part of something succesful. I was looking for brotherhood and a great group of guys that I shared a lot in common with. That being said, I also wanted to be part of a house that was at least a prominent force on campus where I could meet girls and play on good athletic intramural teams and have the money to throw huge events. If a house had great guys that I shared everything with I would obviously consider them even if they didn't do much socially, but at schools where there are 15+ fraternities there's going to be more than one house where you fit in. Why would you join the organization that doesn't have the money or the guys to be succesful?

And I don't mean "join the most exclusive chapter on campus"...but it's ridiculous for you to think you can judge the HUGE majority of freshmen guys as "toolbags" for wanting to be able to drink with their brothers and make friends with girls. That's pretty arrogant.

As a long time GC lurker I know that's not a way of thought many of you are likely to share. That's honestly how I feel though. You got to like the guys but you also have to be honest with yourself about what you are going to want in a fraternity experience and if the chapter you are considering will actually be able to provide it.

The majority of the freshmen males at my school this year ARE tool bags (which is worse than just being a tool, it a combination of a tool and a douche bag).

And I joined my sorority when they had 3 members and about $100 in the bank. But I liked the girls and the ideals and values of the sorority and I saw the potential. And now, less than two years later we have 20 members and are the most active sorority on campus. So, the guys that are just expecting all these experiences to happen when joining a fraternity and don't think they're going to have to put any work into having parties that they like and that they'll enjoy and they will remember for the rest of their lives are tool bags.

[macallan25]

Alright......well, I didn't realize that you went to a school like that. Remember that I go to an enormous school with a huge, prominent greek system. A sorority with only 20 members here wouldn't survive.

Obvioulsy our experiences with greek life are completely different.

[SWTXBelle]

Having been married to the president of a local - and then a chapter of Sigma Chi - I got to see that there are men who are not content with pledging the "top" house to drink and have "hot" girls. The men who formed this local - the president of SGA, an SGA supreme court judge, College Republicans president, etc. (my point - already involved and successful on campus) could have received bids from any top campus on chapter.
They formed the local because they knew there was a need for a chapter that DID focus on brotherhood. I cried when they received their charter, because I knew what it had taken to get it. I knew that the ideals and creed weren't just something they learned so they could party in their letters. Did they want to succeed socially and in competition with other greeks? Sure. But it wasn't their primary focus.
So while many might make the generalization that hey, all guys want is drinking buddies and a chance to score with girls, I have to say that my experience is different.
If this is your experience, hey, who am I to argue? That's your experience, and that's your brotherhood, and that's how you want to represent it. More power to you. But just don't make a gross generalization about all freshmen. I personally don't believe that all men are stupid. Argue with me if you want . . .
Asking for the reps of houses is so futile because it depends on who you ask. You can get concrete data - g.p.a., mixers, sports results - if that's what you want from visiting the websites of all the chapters. If that's what he wants, he would be better off collecting the data himself. Then he can narrow the number of chapters according to his personal criteria, and look for the guys he with whom he can bond.

[jwsteele]

[QUOTE=SWTXBelle;1434276]
Argue with me if you want . . .
]QUOTE]

Wow. I will. You say "gross generalization" in your post. You just made the grossest generalization of my initial argument and twisted it in a way where I am sitting here offended.

How dare you decide that because I wanted to have "drinking buddies" that that is all that my brotherhood means to me and that is all my fraternity experience has to offer. (And yes, you said that...). Nowhere in my original message did I say that. Nowhere. Please point out where I said that.

My initial point is that I wanted brotherhood but also there are certain aspects of a fraternity that I know I personally wanted as well. If you are coming in and you love sports you'd want to make sure the house you were joining liked playing it. If you are coming in and you work very hard on your grades you will be looking for the house with one of the highest GPAs. Many freshmen come in looking for a group of guys they can party with and meet girls.

I was one of them, for sure. But I looked at each house to some degree on my campus (and there are over 20) and looked at the guys. I didn't rush several of the houses with "big parties, hot girl" reputations because I would not have fit in there. But I did want to make sure that I could have my ideal fraternity experience at the house I chose.

My fraternity has an incredibly strong brotherhood. That's very easy to say, especially online, but I stand 100% behind it. Seniors hang out with freshmen, we have almost 100% attendance at all of our events (including not just "party events" but chapter, ritual, community service, leadership fairs, you name it) not because we have to but because we love hanging out with each other and take pride in our house. Our ritual was practiced thoroughly and presented without a hitch and I know for a fact that it is important to all of us (so much so that the position of Ritual Director was the most applied to position out of all our Executive Board). We raise thousands for our philanthropy every year and as a chapter complete an average of 300 or so community service hours every semester. If you are talking about "not putting in work" (as a previous poster alluded to) we had to create more positions this year to fill the demand for leadership from our brothers. We have been honored by our national chapter on many occasions, have won awards from our university for our programming, have a strict membership selection process that looks at leadership and personality and does not even begin to consider looks/wealth/race/etc, have leadership positions all over campus, etc.

And yes, we drink. So I guess that because we drink all of our brotherhood and achievements don't mean anything compared to those of other chapters who don't party as much. I guess that the overwhelming sense of pride and love I feel for my fraternity (on a local and national level) and my dedication to my brothers is actually just because I like drinking. I'm very glad that, since you know me personally, you can make generalizations about my fraternity experience. I learned a lot about myself and my chapter today.

In conclusion, I shouldn't have even posted. As I said, I am a longtime lurker and have seen a general "houses who drink or are the largest on campus, etc can't touch the smaller houses in brother/sister-hood and dedication." This is disgustingly untrue. There is strong brotherhood present in some of the biggest and the smallest chapters on my campus, as well as horrendously bad brotherhood present in yes, the biggest AND smallest chapters on campus. It doesn't always work that way.

Just because members like to party or play sports or meet girls has NO bearing on their overall character, their dedication to their organization, their love for their brothers/sisters and their pride in their GLO. Saying "All ABCs are meat-head drunks who forgot ritual the next day and don't care about their brothers" is as ridiculous and laughable as saying "All XYZs are fat and ugly and slutty".

[UGAalum94]

jwsteele,

Why did you assume she was talking specifically to you? It seemed to me that she was replying to the tone of the thread generally. But maybe I'm wrong.

[UGAalum94]

Statedawg,

Are you from Mississippi? My impression is that a lot of rush activities for guys at State happen over the summer.

If you are from Mississippi, you may want to get in touch with guys ahead of you in school who are already at State.

If you are coming in from out of state, you can probably still get a bid from a group that you like, but your experience may be a little different than that of a well connected guy from Meridian, Greenville, Biloxi, Jackson etc.

[macallan25]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Having been married to the president of a local - and then a chapter of Sigma Chi - I got to see that there are men who are not content with pledging the "top" house to drink and have "hot" girls. The men who formed this local - the president of SGA, an SGA supreme court judge, College Republicans president, etc. (my point - already involved and successful on campus) could have received bids from any top campus on chapter.
They formed the local because they knew there was a need for a chapter that DID focus on brotherhood. I cried when they received their charter, because I knew what it had taken to get it. I knew that the ideals and creed weren't just something they learned so they could party in their letters. Did they want to succeed socially and in competition with other greeks? Sure. But it wasn't their primary focus.
So while many might make the generalization that hey, all guys want is drinking buddies and a chance to score with girls, I have to say that my experience is different.
If this is your experience, hey, who am I to argue? That's your experience, and that's your brotherhood, and that's how you want to represent it. More power to you. But just don't make a gross generalization about all freshmen. I personally don't believe that all men are stupid. Argue with me if you want . . .
Asking for the reps of houses is so futile because it depends on who you ask. You can get concrete data - g.p.a., mixers, sports results - if that's what you want from visiting the websites of all the chapters. If that's what he wants, he would be better off collecting the data himself. Then he can narrow the number of chapters according to his personal criteria, and look for the guys he with whom he can bond.

Look, I was simply making a comment based on my experiences with my own school and others. Don't tell me though that I am making "gross generalizations" about freshmen guys and what a MAJORITY of them want in a fraternity. I have seen every single guy that comes through rush for the last 4 years. I am damn well qualified to make that assumption. Being a member of a prestigious, well respected, wealthy chapter, with like minded guys, that has good parties and has good relationships with good sororities is definitely at the top of their list. They don't know about brotherhood and fraternity ideals yet......why would we expect them to? Again, those types of things are learned over time and are what we are supposed to teach to them when they are pledges.

Thanks though for your concern. I'm glad you are married to a former president of a local and then Sigma Chi. Congratulations. Next time though........think twice before you tell me or anyone else that we are making generalizations of any kind......because you pretty much made an enormous one with your entire post. I'm kind of talking about the part where you basically stated that we/our chapters don't have any brotherhood and things of that nature because of what I feel most freshmen guys are looking for in a fraternity.

[statedawg]

Didn't mean to start a gender war, but the replies bring a lot of insight...

Macallan - the info you can get would be a big help. Thanks.

Leslie Ann - thanks for the links; i'm getting a sense of what each chapter is about through their sites but i know what they choose to put on their own websites can be deceiving.

Alphagamuga - I'm from Biloxi and have seen older friends of mine who stuck together as a group in high school end up at different houses at MSU, which makes this whole thing a little harder to figure out.

To defend my question, I think some of the guys know where I'm coming from... First, I want a fraternity that is going to be fun--and I want a group of drinking buddies too. At the same time, though, I want a fraternity that I am proud of, that will earn the respect of my parents, and strong friendships for the rest of my life. Good people who work hard and play hard. Not so small that the parties suck, but not so big that people don't know each other. Is that too much to look for?

To boil this down, I get the impression that most fraternities have some sort of image--jocks, dorks, potheads, rich guys, preps, animal house, etc. Apparently a few don't really fit in a category, but are just considered "good" or "bad" by general standards. Maybe I have this whole thing wrong, but that's the kind of stuff I'm trying to find out.

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by statedawg

i'm getting a sense of what each chapter is about through their sites but i know what they choose to put on their own websites can be deceiving.

Absolutely. You need to take what you can from it.

Originally Posted by statedawg

I'm from Biloxi and have seen older friends of mine who stuck together as a group in high school end up at different houses at MSU, which makes this whole thing a little harder to figure out.

That's really common, actually. As you get older you start looking for different things in your relationships. Interests start coming into sharper focus when you get to college. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to lose the friends that you have from high school though. I joined a sorority that my close friends from high school would never have joined. The important thing is that it was right for me and helped me develop as a person.

Originally Posted by statedawg

To defend my question, I think some of the guys know where I'm coming from... First, I want a fraternity that is going to be fun--and I want a group of drinking buddies too. At the same time, though, I want a fraternity that I am proud of, that will earn the respect of my parents, and strong friendships for the rest of my life. Good people who work hard and play hard. Not so small that the parties suck, but not so big that people don't know each other. Is that too much to look for?

Nope! Not too much to look for at all. I think what you're looking for is right on target. But, ya know, even if all you wanted was the partying it really isn't anyone's business but your own.

Originally Posted by statedawg

To boil this down, I get the impression that most fraternities have some sort of image--jocks, dorks, potheads, rich guys, preps, animal house, etc. Apparently a few don't really fit in a category, but are just considered "good" or "bad" by general standards. Maybe I have this whole thing wrong, but that's the kind of stuff I'm trying to find out.

Yes, they most definitely do have images. Don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise.