Why you didn't make it into a sorority.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Some schools do this, but some do not. The problem comes when a woman keeps saying she doesn't want to go back to a chapter, they keep inviting her back and there's no way for them to know (unless she's straight up rude) that she really doesn't want to be there.

Would it be considered rude for the woman to tactfully say something like "This seems like a great house, but I really don't feel like I fit in here."? Otherwise, if she's being blatantly rude so as to not get invited back, other houses (that she does want) are going to hear about it.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Would it be considered rude for the woman to tactfully say something like "This seems like a great house, but I really don't feel like I fit in here."? Otherwise, if she's being blatantly rude so as to not get invited back, other houses (that she does want) are going to hear about it.

Put yourself back during rush.

Now think about how you would feel if a rushee said that to you. No matter how nicely she said it, I think you would be upset and say OMG WHAT A BIA!!

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Put yourself back during rush.

Now think about how you would feel if a rushee said that to you. No matter how nicely she said it, I think you would be upset and say OMG WHAT A BIA!!

I never had that happen during rush, but when I went to hand out a COB bid (we tried to do them personally), I had a girl tell me that she didn't think our house was for her, and I was like "Cool, see ya around". I guess it just didn't bother me, because I know ASA isn't for everyone.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Would it be considered rude for the woman to tactfully say something like "This seems like a great house, but I really don't feel like I fit in here."? Otherwise, if she's being blatantly rude so as to not get invited back, other houses (that she does want) are going to hear about it.

No PNM ever thinks that unless they think the house is not good enough for them. So it would be a pretty transparent remark.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

No PNM ever thinks that unless they think the house is not good enough for them. So it would be a pretty transparent remark.

I really don't think it means "you're not good enough for me"

I know I didn't fit in to several houses on my campus. I really only had two houses out of five that I would have considered a bid from after recruitment. I dropped the other ones because I didn't fit there. But I didn't think so highly of myself that they weren't good enough for me. I just knew I wouldn't be happy there and why accept a bid someplace you don't want to be? Why be sisters with people you don't seem to like?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Would it be considered rude for the woman to tactfully say something like "This seems like a great house, but I really don't feel like I fit in here."?

There is no tactful way to say that. If you are required to go to all events, your best bet is to just suck it up and go. I'm sorry, but unless you're a complete bitch, it's not hard to be a polite guest to a sorority that's not your favorite for an HOUR at the most (the length of most pref parties). Sorority women are not dense, we know what all those cryptic statements mean ("I don't like you." or "I think I'm too good for you.")

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

There is no tactful way to say that. If you are required to go to all events, your best bet is to just suck it up and go. I'm sorry, but unless you're a complete bitch, it's not hard to be a polite guest to a sorority that's not your favorite for an HOUR at the most (the length of most pref parties). Sorority women are not dense, we know what all those cryptic statements mean ("I don't like you." or "I think I'm too good for you.")

I think everyone should just try to keep in mind that it's good PR all the way around to behave as if the group and the girl like each other.

The girl represents her future chapter well, and the group shows good manners and hospitality.

Maybe that's something that recruitment advisers and greek life could emphasize during rush.

They could sort of say:

We know as PNMs that you aren't going to like all the groups equally, but we've set up the system to create the greatest possibility that you will have a chance to join a group. Sometimes it might mean attending a party for a group that you don't think you want to join.

Everyone knows this occasionally happens. Keep in mind that when you join your future group, girls you meet at other chapters will still remember how you acted and the interest and respect you showed for their groups. Help strengthen Greek Life generally by being a well mannered and friendly guest at every party that you attend.