Tacky wedding "invitation"

GeekyPenguin · #1 04-05-2007, 09:02 PM

Giving this one a big ol' bump...

I have a group of classmates I'm pretty close with. One of the girls is getting married in May and sent out her invitations this week...she didn't "and guest" me. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend as long as this girl has been with her fiance, but I guess technically it's okay she didn't +1 me since the rules of etiquette say you should be engaged or shacking up before it's mandatory. However, another girl in our study group is MARRIED and her husband did not get invited. WTF?

33girl · #2 04-06-2007, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin

Giving this one a big ol' bump...

I have a group of classmates I'm pretty close with. One of the girls is getting married in May and sent out her invitations this week...she didn't "and guest" me. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend as long as this girl has been with her fiance, but I guess technically it's okay she didn't +1 me since the rules of etiquette say you should be engaged or shacking up before it's mandatory. However, another girl in our study group is MARRIED and her husband did not get invited. WTF?

She might not have a lot of $ to burn and therefore, only wants to invite/pay for the dinners of people she actually knows, not for their significant others.

GeekyPenguin · #3 04-06-2007, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

She might not have a lot of $ to burn and therefore, only wants to invite/pay for the dinners of people she actually knows, not for their significant others.

But to not invite somebody's husband? I always thought spouses were mandatory.

Intense1920 · #4 04-06-2007, 05:58 PM

I always thought that spouses are mandatory when following proper etiquette.

alum · #5 04-06-2007, 07:34 PM

I agree with GP and 1920. Spouses and fiances/fiancees are to be included with guests you actually know, boyfriends are not necessarily included.

LeslieAGD · #6 04-06-2007, 09:28 PM

Honestly, in that situation I would call the bride and ask if there was a mistake on my RSVP card. And then, if my husband was not invited I would say flat out I wasn't coming.

When I was engaged, a friend of mine was getting married and when she sent me an invite it said my name "and guest." I thought that was kinda rude considering she had met my then-fiance and we had been out to dinner a few times together.

MTSUGURL · #7 04-07-2007, 02:34 AM

My old roommate addressed my invitation to her wedding not only to me, but to a guy I was good friends with and had a crush on. For real, she put his name on the invitation. And the place card at the rehearsal dinner, in spite of the fact that he was out of town and couldn't come to either... (we had rsvp'd in plenty of time for her to change it.) I brought another guy. He didn't like being called by the wrong name all night.

AlphaFrog · #8 04-10-2007, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LeslieAGD

When I was engaged, a friend of mine was getting married and when she sent me an invite it said my name "and guest." I thought that was kinda rude considering she had met my then-fiance and we had been out to dinner a few times together.

I actually think that might be correct, etiquette-wise. It's sort of awkward to put Miss Mary Smith & Mr. John Jones on an invite.

GeekyPenguin · #9 04-10-2007, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I actually think that might be correct, etiquette-wise. It's sort of awkward to put Miss Mary Smith & Mr. John Jones on an invite.

Emily Post disagrees.

Ms. Mary Smith
Mr. John Jones
123 Peoplearetacky Court, Apt 2B
Here, XY 12347

OtterXO · #10 04-09-2007, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeekyPenguin

Giving this one a big ol' bump...

I have a group of classmates I'm pretty close with. One of the girls is getting married in May and sent out her invitations this week...she didn't "and guest" me. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend as long as this girl has been with her fiance, but I guess technically it's okay she didn't +1 me since the rules of etiquette say you should be engaged or shacking up before it's mandatory. However, another girl in our study group is MARRIED and her husband did not get invited. WTF?

This is such a tricky situation. A friend of mine is getting married soon and informed us that none of the girls in our group of friends are going to be invited with an "and guest", which is fine since they don't really know anyone's boyfriend. The weird thing is that they seemed to pick and choose who was invited with a guest because one of our friends made a point to say we'd all get to meet her new boyfriend at the wedding. Clearly since they've been dating for 5 minutes, the engaged couple doesn't know the new boyfriend. I think the rule of thumb should be to be consistent with whatever you choose and to follow basic etiquette rules with inviting spouses and fiance/fiancees.