Tacky wedding "invitation"

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by kddani

I disagree- it is absolutely tacky. A lot of people consider that fishing for gifts. Receiving an invitation to something you can't attend makes most people feel that they have to at least send a gift. If you know someone can't attend, then send them an annoucement or picture or something after the fact. Don't send them an invite to something you already know they can't attend.

Fishing for gifts is always tacky.

Not necessarily - we sent invitations to some relatives (older aunts and uncles, etc.) who we knew couldn't travel the distance, kind of a way of letting them know we didn't forget about them. I don't think you can automatically assume that people are "fishing for gifts" in that case; you may run into more trouble if some family members don't get invitations, even if you know they probably won't be able to make it. For them, an announcement, etc., just won't cut it.

Anyone who is planning a wedding should just look at their own family and friends and figure out what works best; for some families, it may just look like "fishing," and in some families, you would get more grief for not sending the invitation. Like everything else, people should just do what's best for their situation, not what they saw in some magazine or on a message board.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by KSigkid

Not necessarily - we sent invitations to some relatives (older aunts and uncles, etc.) who we knew couldn't travel the distance, kind of a way of letting them know we didn't forget about them. I don't think you can automatically assume that people are "fishing for gifts" in that case; you may run into more trouble if some family members don't get invitations, even if you know they probably won't be able to make it. For them, an announcement, etc., just won't cut it.

What is bad is being absolutely positive Uncle Bern and Aunt Velma won't come because of their age or whatever - and then getting their RSVP back saying they've decided to leave their home after 50 years and come. Too bad you don't really have room for them because you invited someone else.

One of my coworkers about 2 weeks prior to her wedding sent an email around to some of us (who she hadn't invited previously) saying they had a poor response to their invites and so were inviting us if we wanted to come. That was just the height of tacky to me. If she wanted me there, she should have asked me when the real invites went out.

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by 33girl

What is bad is being absolutely positive Uncle Bern and Aunt Velma won't come because of their age or whatever - and then getting their RSVP back saying they've decided to leave their home after 50 years and come. Too bad you don't really have room for them because you invited someone else.

That's true, although I'm not sure why you would invite someone you didn't want to come or had room for in the first place. When we were planning, we had room for everyone people we invited, just in case they wanted to travel to the wedding. It turned out that a couple of family members from California were able to make the trip.

I don't think you can ever predict who will show up; I had a friend who was an hour away who couldn't come, but relatives from cross-country who made the trip. Anytime you try to predict those things, something will change.