Deltas I truly need ya'll help

[laylo]

Originally Posted by treblk

I just wanted to make this point. You are upset about the reaction of your ls's to your coming out and you wante them to welcome you with open arms, but here you stated that your own parents didn't want anything to do with you after you came out to them. Now, I'on know about anyone else, but if my parents are having a hard time with this, what would make me think my ls's would be different? Hang in there, because I am sure it is difficult for you.

If/When you lost your virginity, would/did you tell your girlfriends or your parents? If you'd gotten pregnant in highschool or college, wouldn't your girlfriends' reactions have been much better than your mom's?

[dzdst796]

I know I would not have disclosed it prior to being selected for membership, but I also know that I would have waited or tried to strike up a discussion about the subject to see what the reaction was prior to telling folks. Depending on the situation you might not establish the bond with your line sister(s) until well after the process is over. I know that is how it was for me. One thing that must be kept in perspective just because you are on line with someone does not automatically mean that you will be friends(and I use that word loosely).
In the big scheme of things this situation should make you stronger and next time you will check out the situation before sharing such personal information.

[OOhsoflyDELTA#9]

my line was mad close during our process and I know I didn't share ever imtimate detail of my life with my LSs...from what I've witnessed "coming out" is extremely difficult and it was probably after she crossed when she truly felt comfortable enough to disclose that information...as for putting it out there before hand, I didn't put it out there that I was a single parent or "older" when I was trying to get selected...sometimes less is more when you know people will judge you on something about your life...in my opinion as long as she hasn't or will not do anything that reflects negatively on our sorority I could care less about who she chooses to love...her LSs are the ones who need to be clowned, not her...and being teased at a probate or whatever and thats cool with her sands...wow...I'm not even 5 yet and I guess things have changed since I came through...maybe its not the norm but Ima ride for mine and that would not have gone down without some problems...oh well Soror keep your head up and let the haters hate...remember the fact that unfortunate as it is, every Delta is your soror but not your friend...I'll keep you in my prayers.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by OOhsoflyDELTA#9

I didn't put it out there that I was a single parent or "older" when I was trying to get selected...sometimes less is more when you know people will judge you on something about your life

This all goes to show how things vary from chapter and line.

You would've never been able to keep the fact that you're a single parent or "older" a secret when you were trying to be selected in my chapter. It's not that people would've used that against you but it wouldn't have been a secret you could've kept.

[OOhsoflyDELTA#9]

^^^^^^yeah I guess it can vary but I attended a mostly commuter
20,000+ student school....I never lived on campus...I was at every program and public community service project and was seen being active on campus...as far as my age, it never came up because I believe I looked younger then I was at the time and it was just assumed that I was in the normal age range of most interests...I can remember being an interest and this one other young lady always started her answers to questions at programs "well I'm 29 and...blah, blah, blah" I would think to myself "why does your age matter? These members are only like 20 to 23"..I'm saying all this to say that I wouldn't have lied if asked but I just didn't volunteer the information...I let my sincere interest and my transcript/community service do what it do..(or did)...

[MeezDiscreet]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

This all goes to show how things vary from chapter and line.

You would've never been able to keep the fact that you're a single parent or "older" a secret when you were trying to be selected in my chapter. It's not that people would've used that against you but it wouldn't have been a secret you could've kept.

Same here

[Reds6]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

This all goes to show how things vary from chapter and line.

You would've never been able to keep the fact that you're a single parent or "older" a secret when you were trying to be selected in my chapter. It's not that people would've used that against you but it wouldn't have been a secret you could've kept.

Exactly! But hey we are always on the same page. I would look at my LS differently if she a child and didn't share that with us. Having a child is a huge part of who I am, so by not sharing that with my LS's would be like not allowing them to bond with me and know who I am.

[Reds6]

I'm sorry I just don't believe the OP. Look at the language. Again why bring this dilema to a board you have never been on? Why not take it to the Soror that wrote your financial?

How many Sorors would vote for a gay applicant? So I understand not disclosing it then, but after making line why not share it with your LS's if you felt so strongly about them knowing?

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Reds6

How many Sorors would vote for a gay applicant? So I understand not disclosing it then, but after making line why not share it with your LS's if you felt so strongly about them knowing?

I would vote for a gay applicant as long as (she excelled in the other requirements and) I didn't see her as a flamboyant caricature and think she was going to use Delta to champion gay rights. Just like I don't like flamboyant heterosexuals who use their organizations as excuses for hypersexuality (i.e. fraternity men humping whipped cream in stepshows).

If folks want to casually talk about things using pronouns (per Senruset's post), that's fine with me. But I don't want to hear ANYONE go on and on and on about their sexuality or who they're dating. As if that's the main point of their existence.

[ColorfulCre8ion]

Ok let me clarify a few things. It is very hard to determine when someone who is homosexual should come ‘out’ about their sexuality. There are a lot of psycho stressors (I’m a psych minor) that can plague one’s mind. I decided that that was the time. Now, please understand that when I told them I was not expecting them to throw me a gay parade, give me rainbow balloons, hug me and tell me how great it is that I am lesbian. Definitely NOT! I am much smarter than that. I didn’t even expect them to “accept” my lifestyle. My choice of telling them was so that they were aware that I live a slightly different life than they do. Other than the fact that I like girls, nothing else is really different. I am still a black female. I still deal with the stress that black people face everyday. I am still a college student and deal with the hassle of classes and trying to graduate, so I really don’t understand what the big deal is. I was however not expecting for them to out right dog me and mistreat me. I know that a lot of people do not agree with homosexuality and I am ok with that but I was TOTALLY NOT expecting this response.

To answer the question about why I chose Delta ( and know I was not offended by that question and yes I know that I have to be ready to answer that), I wanted to become a member of Delta ever since I was in high school. Even when I was unsure about my sexuality I was sure that I wanted to be apart of this sorority. I was a huge community service guru, every Saturday and Sunday I was out in our community completing projects and I ran into a lot of Deltas. I was enamored with their dedication to service and sisterhood. From that moment I knew that this was something I was interested in. I am also a big history buff so I started doing research and reading books and I was more so impress with the rich history of Delta. Anyway there are many reasons why I chose Delta.

I posted on here for a couple of reason I was looking for support, advice and to vent and all three were accomplished. In a situation like this I have tunnel vision, because I truly feel helpless so to hear opinions, encouragement and suggestions from other Sorors and Sistergreeks was truly appreciated.

Reds6- I am not sure I understand what you are saying. If you see a discrepancy with anything I said then please PM, thank you!

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Reds6

Exactly! But hey we are always on the same page. I would look at my LS differently if she a child and didn't share that with us. Having a child is a huge part of who I am, so by not sharing that with my LS's would be like not allowing them to bond with me and know who I am.

It's a huge and POSITIVE part of who you are. And it isn't something that could've been swept under the rug because your experiences from day ONE will be shaped by factors like having a child and being older than the average student (but on of the points of commuter campuses is so that nontraditional students can still find their niche, so I'm not sure why being older would have been conceiled, either).

[dzdst796]

Originally Posted by OOhsoflyDELTA#9

my line was mad close during our process and I know I didn't share ever imtimate detail of my life with my LSs...from what I've witnessed "coming out" is extremely difficult and it was probably after she crossed when she truly felt comfortable enough to disclose that information...as for putting it out there before hand, I didn't put it out there that I was a single parent or "older" when I was trying to get selected...sometimes less is more when you know people will judge you on something about your life...in my opinion as long as she hasn't or will not do anything that reflects negatively on our sorority I could care less about who she chooses to love...her LSs are the ones who need to be clowned, not her...and being teased at a probate or whatever and thats cool with her sands...wow...I'm not even 5 yet and I guess things have changed since I came through...maybe its not the norm but Ima ride for mine and that would not have gone down without some problems...oh well Soror keep your head up and let the haters hate...remember the fact that unfortunate as it is, every Delta is your soror but not your friend...I'll keep you in my prayers.

I agree with you Soror. One thing my prophytes (Reds6) always told us was to handle chapter business in private. I love all of my line sisters, but we don't all get along. There is one who we really don't care much for eachother but you better believe I am not going to let anyone embarass her or call her out. I'm with you I ride for mine too and always will. I couldn't be a prophyte for this line because I would be clowning all of them.

[DSTKellie]

It doesn't make a difference if you came 'out' before, after, during or at anytime of you process. I still think their reaction was PISS POOR! There is a way to disagree with someone's lifestyle without being mean or nasty. You are the VICTIM here! I don't care if were a super close line or not this behavior would not be cool in any situation. Again the best be with you. Do you, love yourself and don't let the drama keep you down.

[mulattogyrl]

Originally Posted by DSTKellie

There is a way to disagree with someone's lifestyle without being mean or nasty.

Exactly. Some people are mean and nasty though no matter how much 'sisterhood' you try to instill in them. *smh*

[Reds6]

Originally Posted by dzdst796

I agree with you Soror. One thing my prophytes (Reds6) always told us was to handle chapter business in private. I love all of my line sisters, but we don't all get along. There is one who we really don't care much for eachother but you better believe I am not going to let anyone embarass her or call her out. I'm with you I ride for mine too and always will. I couldn't be a prophyte for this line because I would be clowning all of them.

But Steph, you all knew each other and we made it a point to know you guys and for you guys to know us before you were selected. There's no way someone could have hid they were a single parent. The point of pledging is to build trust as you bond and learn about your sister. Staying strong and enduring.