Deltas I truly need ya'll help

[Reds6]

Originally Posted by treblk

I just wanted to make this point. You are upset about the reaction of your ls's to your coming out and you wante them to welcome you with open arms, but here you stated that your own parents didn't want anything to do with you after you came out to them. Now, I'on know about anyone else, but if my parents are having a hard time with this, what would make me think my ls's would be different? Hang in there, because I am sure it is difficult for you.

Exactly! Something about the orginal post just doesn't sit right with me.

1. You said your CHECK was as good as theirs. Hmmm, maybe there was no bond.
2. You're parent's didn't accept you but you thought people you just met would.
3. You said it's hard coming out but had a girlfriend on campus, so technically weren't you already out?
4. Why the hell would you come on a board that you aren't to familiar with and have your first post be this again to a group of women you don't know? Why not PM a Soror on this site? Why not speak to the Soror that wrote your financial?
5. Why would any Soror call Nationals on this? Would you think that would better the realtionship?

Hey I don't care what you are and who you do it with, but I would have a problem with someone that I was in the trenches with, that I claim to have a bond with not disclose something that was so important on who they were to themselves. I have a feeling they are more pissed that you didn't tell them from the jump than that you are gay.

[Senusret I]

I don't understand why she was *supposed* to share her sexuality any other time than when she was ready to.

[Reds6]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

I don't understand why she was *supposed* to share her sexuality any other time than when she was ready to.

I don't think she has to share it. I just think it made her LS's wonder why she waited to share it, especially something that is so important to her. People feel deceived, when they are getting to know you and then find out something that is major to you in your own life and didn't share it? I don't care who she loves, but I would have the same question if I had a LS that told me she was married and had children after we crossed. I would wonder while we were bonding why didn't she share something so important to her with us. I think it wasn't shared before because she thought she wouldn't make line. I also question the validty of her post.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by Reds6

Exactly! Something about the orginal post just doesn't sit right with me.[LIST=1][*]You said your CHECK was as good as theirs. Hmmm, maybe there was no bond.
[*] You're parent's didn't accept you but you thought people you just met would.[*]You said it's hard coming out but had a girlfriend on campus, so technically weren't you already out?

was that first point in the original post? cause i see it was edited.

she couldve had a GF and not been out. makes sense to me.

and maybe because the OP's parents didnt react so well she THOUGHT her LSs would be better about it since they havent known her all her life. in example, one of my residents was out to me but not to her best friends. they came to visit that weekend and she was supposedly going to come out to them that weekend. did i know this? nope. so im talking to the friends about the resident's girlfriend and whatnot, and the looks on the friends' faces was like "what are you talking about?"

the friends cut their visit short and i felt really horrible cause i mistakenly outed her. everyone in the dorm was like "ok, you like girls, fine." her best friends from home, not so much.

yes, i also question why she waited until she crossed to come out. but, i will agree with Rashid on the "supposed to share her sexuality" at the "right time." since we always compare seeking membership to a job interview... would you tell the person you were interviewing that you were gay? or on the final interview? or your first day of work? had she worn her sexuality on her sleeve, that couldve affected her membership or not. in no way am i saying it shouldve, but let's be honest, not everyone is down for the count, especially from what it sounds like on the OP's campus. mind you this is kinda weird to me cause NYU is kind of a gay central - people who were way in the back of the closet at home came bursting out freshman year, and then some who took all 4 years to do.

anyway, who knows, its up to the individual and especially at 18, 19 (assuming the age of the OP) i'm not surprised that she was still in the closet. you dont know who to trust or what not, and being in limbo of child and adult, there isnt exactly any "adult" to run to tell people on.

[Reds6]

Originally Posted by tld221

was that first point in the original post? cause i see it was edited.

she couldve had a GF and not been out. makes sense to me.

and maybe because the OP's parents didnt react so well she THOUGHT her LSs would be better about it since they havent known her all her life. in example, one of my residents was out to me but not to her best friends. they came to visit that weekend and she was supposedly going to come out to them that weekend. did i know this? nope. so im talking to the friends about the resident's girlfriend and whatnot, and the looks on the friends' faces was like "what are you talking about?"

the friends cut their visit short and i felt really horrible cause i mistakenly outed her. everyone in the dorm was like "ok, you like girls, fine." her best friends from home, not so much.

yes, i also question why she waited until she crossed to come out. but, i will agree with Rashid on the "supposed to share her sexuality" at the "right time." since we always compare seeking membership to a job interview... would you tell the person you were interviewing that you were gay? or on the final interview? or your first day of work? had she worn her sexuality on her sleeve, that couldve affected her membership or not. in no way am i saying it shouldve, but let's be honest, not everyone is down for the count, especially from what it sounds like on the OP's campus. mind you this is kinda weird to me cause NYU is kind of a gay central - people who were way in the back of the closet at home came bursting out freshman year, and then some who took all 4 years to do.

anyway, who knows, its up to the individual and especially at 18, 19 (assuming the age of the OP) i'm not surprised that she was still in the closet. you dont know who to trust or what not, and being in limbo of child and adult, there isnt exactly any "adult" to run to tell people on.

It's the person's right to come out whenever they feel comfortable. But she stated she had a girlfriend on campus, and didn't want her LS's to find out by seeing her or someone seeing her at a gay bar. So that makes me wonder how in was she . Again why not disclose it to your LS's while on line, if it is such a major part of her life. Why feel the need to tell them at all. Just like you wouldn't anounce you were Hetro, why announce you are gay? Just show up to an event with your SO, no matter what your orientation.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by tld221

since we always compare seeking membership to a job interview... would you tell the person you were interviewing that you were gay? or on the final interview? or your first day of work?

At first glance I thought this was a good analogy and would still think so if the issue was she had lied in her interview. (Which couldn't have happened anyway.) But where it then fell short for me is that once you are online the job analogy is no longer applicable.

I do agree with Shid's comments, but I also understand what my sorors are saying, because we all know what goes on in our process.

Very honestly, I have not commented about the scenario before, because it involves my sorors on both sides and I do not want to pass judgement without knowing the other side. Especially when one side sounds so extreme.