Deltas I truly need ya'll help

[Reds6]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

This all goes to show how things vary from chapter and line.

You would've never been able to keep the fact that you're a single parent or "older" a secret when you were trying to be selected in my chapter. It's not that people would've used that against you but it wouldn't have been a secret you could've kept.

Exactly! But hey we are always on the same page. I would look at my LS differently if she a child and didn't share that with us. Having a child is a huge part of who I am, so by not sharing that with my LS's would be like not allowing them to bond with me and know who I am.

[Reds6]

I'm sorry I just don't believe the OP. Look at the language. Again why bring this dilema to a board you have never been on? Why not take it to the Soror that wrote your financial?

How many Sorors would vote for a gay applicant? So I understand not disclosing it then, but after making line why not share it with your LS's if you felt so strongly about them knowing?

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by Reds6

How many Sorors would vote for a gay applicant? So I understand not disclosing it then, but after making line why not share it with your LS's if you felt so strongly about them knowing?

I would vote for a gay applicant as long as (she excelled in the other requirements and) I didn't see her as a flamboyant caricature and think she was going to use Delta to champion gay rights. Just like I don't like flamboyant heterosexuals who use their organizations as excuses for hypersexuality (i.e. fraternity men humping whipped cream in stepshows).

If folks want to casually talk about things using pronouns (per Senruset's post), that's fine with me. But I don't want to hear ANYONE go on and on and on about their sexuality or who they're dating. As if that's the main point of their existence.

[Reds6]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

I would vote for a gay applicant as long as (she excelled in the other requirements and) I didn't see her as a flamboyant caricature and think she was going to use Delta to champion gay rights. Just like I don't like flamboyant heterosexuals who use their organizations as excuses for hypersexuality (i.e. fraternity men humping whipped cream in stepshows).

If folks want to casually talk about things using pronouns (per Senruset's post), that's fine with me. But I don't want to hear ANYONE go on and on and on about their sexuality or who they're dating. As if that's the main point of their existence.

! Exactly, I don't think its about her being gay, its more about hiding who you are. It tells me she didn't have faith in the bond she was seeking and trying to build. If you don't feel like a group of people would accept you for who you are why join?

[ColorfulCre8ion]

Ok let me clarify a few things. It is very hard to determine when someone who is homosexual should come ‘out’ about their sexuality. There are a lot of psycho stressors (I’m a psych minor) that can plague one’s mind. I decided that that was the time. Now, please understand that when I told them I was not expecting them to throw me a gay parade, give me rainbow balloons, hug me and tell me how great it is that I am lesbian. Definitely NOT! I am much smarter than that. I didn’t even expect them to “accept” my lifestyle. My choice of telling them was so that they were aware that I live a slightly different life than they do. Other than the fact that I like girls, nothing else is really different. I am still a black female. I still deal with the stress that black people face everyday. I am still a college student and deal with the hassle of classes and trying to graduate, so I really don’t understand what the big deal is. I was however not expecting for them to out right dog me and mistreat me. I know that a lot of people do not agree with homosexuality and I am ok with that but I was TOTALLY NOT expecting this response.

To answer the question about why I chose Delta ( and know I was not offended by that question and yes I know that I have to be ready to answer that), I wanted to become a member of Delta ever since I was in high school. Even when I was unsure about my sexuality I was sure that I wanted to be apart of this sorority. I was a huge community service guru, every Saturday and Sunday I was out in our community completing projects and I ran into a lot of Deltas. I was enamored with their dedication to service and sisterhood. From that moment I knew that this was something I was interested in. I am also a big history buff so I started doing research and reading books and I was more so impress with the rich history of Delta. Anyway there are many reasons why I chose Delta.

I posted on here for a couple of reason I was looking for support, advice and to vent and all three were accomplished. In a situation like this I have tunnel vision, because I truly feel helpless so to hear opinions, encouragement and suggestions from other Sorors and Sistergreeks was truly appreciated.

Reds6- I am not sure I understand what you are saying. If you see a discrepancy with anything I said then please PM, thank you!

[Reds6]

Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion

Ok let me clarify a few things. It is very hard to determine when someone who is homosexual should come ‘out’ about their sexuality. There are a lot of psycho stressors (I’m a psych minor) that can plague one’s mind. I decided that that was the time. Now, please understand that when I told them I was not expecting them to throw me a gay parade, give me rainbow balloons, hug me and tell me how great it is that I am lesbian. Definitely NOT! I am much smarter than that. I didn’t even expect them to “accept” my lifestyle. My choice of telling them was so that they were aware that I live a slightly different life than they do. Other than the fact that I like girls, nothing else is really different. I am still a black female. I still deal with the stress that black people face everyday. I am still a college student and deal with the hassle of classes and trying to graduate, so I really don’t understand what the big deal is. I was however not expecting for them to out right dog me and mistreat me. I know that a lot of people do not agree with homosexuality and I am ok with that but I was TOTALLY NOT expecting this response.

To answer the question about why I chose Delta ( and know I was not offended by that question and yes I know that I have to be ready to answer that), I wanted to become a member of Delta ever since I was in high school. Even when I was unsure about my sexuality I was sure that I wanted to be apart of this sorority. I was a huge community service guru, every Saturday and Sunday I was out in our community completing projects and I ran into a lot of Deltas. I was enamored with their dedication to service and sisterhood. From that moment I knew that this was something I was interested in. I am also a big history buff so I started doing research and reading books and I was more so impress with the rich history of Delta. Anyway there are many reasons why I chose Delta.

I posted on here for a couple of reason I was looking for support, advice and to vent and all three were accomplished. In a situation like this I have tunnel vision, because I truly feel helpless so to hear opinions, encouragement and suggestions from other Sorors and Sistergreeks was truly appreciated.

Reds6- I am not sure I understand what you are saying. If you see a discrepancy with anything I said then please PM, thank you!

Ok, so I'm confused. If you weren't expecting the best why are you now so distraught about their reaction? Do you think they are pissed because they may feel you weren't totally open with them or that you are gay? I would not have not voted for you if you were gay (white no), but I would would wonder if I really knew you, justified or not. Also everyone's comfort levels aren't the same. I guess I'm also confused about what role Nationals would play. Are they supposed to conduct sensitivity training or suspend the members that didn't respond favorably? I do however think Delta business should be in house, and I don't condone the behavior of the chapter just as I don't condone this issue being posted here.

[ColorfulCre8ion]

So if you don't accept someone's lifestyle then you have to mistreat them?? You can verbally express that you don't accept someone's lifestyle and then leave it at that. Its how they handle their unacceptance that I had an issue with NOT THE MERE FACT THAT THEY DIDNT ACCEPT IT. Again you can dislike someone but that doesn’t give you the right to mistreat them and that was my issue. I don't understand how you could not understand the difference

I know that Nationals cannot solve anything, which was the information that I received from posting on here. Prior to posting I wasn’t sure what to do because I had talked to prophytes, my advisor, and others and the behavior still carried on. This is why I sought advice to gain insight as to what to do next because I was confused, hurt, angry and a host of other emotions.

I didn't disclose any information about my chapter, school, or anything so as far as I am concern the issue is still 'in-house'. I was seeking advice for myself and I received that. (Thanks to those that gave me some)

So Reds6, if you don't have any pearls of wisdom to give.... then I no longer need to hear from you, thank you!

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion

So Reds6, if you don't have any pearls of wisdom to give.... then I no longer need to hear from you, thank you!

Now, hold up. You've been a Delta for a day and you're coming at someone who has been a Soror for over a decade. Ignore her posts if you choose, but slow your roll because she isn't coming at you like that. You might've had a difficult time being a lesbian Delta but I damn sure know you were taught about deference. Or, I hope you were.

As far as the rest of your posts, I understand that you expected them NOT to mistreat you and for them NOT to sit around while you became the joke of the campus. You didn't think they'd be a huge fan of your homosexuality but they'd at least accept you and be there for you to talk to them. I completely understand that. I say give it time and hopefully they will learn from this experience as you are. They may look back and slap themselve in the face for their reactions. Just be prepared to be open minded and forgiving.

[Reds6]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Now, hold up. You've been a Delta for a day and you're coming at someone who has been a Soror for over a decade. Ignore her posts if you choose, but slow your roll because she isn't coming at you like that. You might've had a difficult time being a lesbian Delta but I damn sure know you were taught about deference. Or, I hope you were.

As far as the rest of your posts, I understand that you expected them NOT to mistreat you and for them NOT to sit around while you became the joke of the campus. You didn't think they'd be a huge fan of your homosexuality but they'd at least accept you and be there for you to talk to them. I completely understand that. I say give it time and hopefully they will learn from this experience as you are. They may look back and slap themselve in the face for their reactions. Just be prepared to be open minded and forgiving.

Hey she doesn't know discretion, so I really don't expect her to know deference.

[Reds6]

Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion

So if you don't accept someone's lifestyle then you have to mistreat them?? You can verbally express that you don't accept someone's lifestyle and then leave it at that. Its how they handle their unacceptance that I had an issue with NOT THE MERE FACT THAT THEY DIDNT ACCEPT IT. Again you can dislike someone but that doesn’t give you the right to mistreat them and that was my issue. I don't understand how you could not understand the difference

I know that Nationals cannot solve anything, which was the information that I received from posting on here. Prior to posting I wasn’t sure what to do because I had talked to prophytes, my advisor, and others and the behavior still carried on. This is why I sought advice to gain insight as to what to do next because I was confused, hurt, angry and a host of other emotions.

I didn't disclose any information about my chapter, school, or anything so as far as I am concern the issue is still 'in-house'. I was seeking advice for myself and I received that. (Thanks to those that gave me some)

So Reds6, if you don't have any pearls of wisdom to give.... then I no longer need to hear from you, thank you!

I think I stated I didn't condone the behavior of the chapter.
Also you don't have to disclose the name or location of the chapter, to know where it is; especially if you are being ridiculed on campus. I guess you would be the only person on this national site from your school,right?
You asked for thoughts and opinions and I gave you mine, whether you want to read them or not. Apparently you are looking for validation instead of insight or opinions, in that case don't post personal situations on a message board and ask for feedback. I asked questions because I question the validity of the post, not that I condone someone being mistreated, so don't get it twisted. And spare me with the pearls of wisdom remark, I'm approaching 12 years in Delta, not a semester.
Look I can care less who anybody is licking or sticking on a daily basis. Just like I wouldn't go out and announce I'm hetro, why feel the need to announce you're gay. Be you, be owt, and if you feel the need to talk about your girlfriend do so without looking for validation from others.

[dzdst796]

[So Reds6, if you don't have any pearls of wisdom to give.... then I no longer need to hear from you, thank you!
[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

OK. Now you have crossed the line. I fully understand that you are dealing with issues on your yard and like I have told you in my PM's if I was your prophyte I would definitely address your line sisters behavior. But when you make a snide comment regarding my PROPHYTE (Reds6) I must draw the line. Don't get your panties in a bunch because you don't like what she is saying. You state you posted on this board because you needed some guidance and from what I have read you have been given some - regardless of whether it is helpful to you or not. Like I was taught you listen to all information and you take from it what is useful and disregard the rest.

P.S. Just like I said I would ride with my line sisters that also goes for my prophytes. We are not called Wreckin' DZ for nothing.

[dzdst796]

And another thing you have been a Delta for a minute so you need to slow your roll and keep in mind that this light crap compared to other issues you might face - Like if you road trip to Jersey. You run into me and my line sisters I can tell you that being gay is going to be the least of your problems. You need to make sure you know your Delta info and review our P&T. Yes I am pissed.

[mulattogyrl]

Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion

[COLOR=black]So Reds6, if you don't have any pearls of wisdom to give.... then I no longer need to hear from you, thank you!

Respect those that came before you. Be blessed.

[ladygreek]

Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion

So Reds6, if you don't have any pearls of wisdom to give.... then I no longer need to hear from you, thank you!

BTW there is no such place as Nationals in Delta.

[DSTKellie]

Originally Posted by ColorfulCre8ion

So Reds6, if you don't have any pearls of wisdom to give.... then I no longer need to hear from you, thank you!

Whoooaaa!! Hold on. Now I was on your side and I admit that what happened to you was very unfortunate but please believe that is no reason for disrespect! I understand that you maybe angry and frustrated but watch your tone and remember that no one on this board has insulted you or mistreated you. We don't know you so there is a lot to be asked and assumed just from your posts.

Remember Humility! My mother taught me that as a child, even if I was having a bad day, I BET not eva' disrespect her.

Best wishes to you.