What would raise a yellow, or red flag on a 1st date for you?

[AlexMack]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

It's been a long time since I've been on the dating scene.

But I'd say that my red flags would include:

- bragging about sexual exploits
- talking incessantly about ex's
- getting too drunk (drinking responsibly on a first date is ok, getting falling-down-drunk is not)
- smoking (social smoking is ok, but regular daily smoking is not)
- admitting to current, regular use of illegal drugs (get off the drugs first, then we'll talk)
- strong fundamentalist religious views (e.g. a woman's place is in the home, watch your skirt - you're showing too much ankle, etc.)
- dresses in a very sloppy manner (e.g. torn or stained clothes) or in a manner inappropriate to the venue (e.g. jeans or sneakers at a very nice restaurant)

Yellow flags:

- late without a good reason (this is the first date - even if you're so chronically late that you'd be late to your own funeral, you should at least try to pick me up / meet me on time!)
- not tipping, or lowballing the tip, unless the service was actually bad (I used to date a guy who would never tip waitstaff or cab drivers... )
- can't hold a conversation / gives one-word answers to open-ended questions
- dictates where we are going on the date. Asking me what type of food I like, asking me if I have a restaurant to suggest, suggesting a type of cuisine or a specific restaurant and asking me if I'd like that - all are good. But "I know this great place where they serve only liver and brussels sprouts, and that's where we're going!" is not ok.

Okay, so I'm picky.

Nah, I pretty much agree with everything you said AEPhialum. Regular use of drugs is a no-no. I can deal with occasional use, but not, 'I get baked every night, I can't survive without it.'
I couldn't deal with cosplay, anime or anything like that. However-I have friends who game (like Vampire, D&D). I don't do it, won't do it, do not see the appeal, but they're my friends and I love them. My SO used to game (doesn't anymore) and still has all the books etc. I do make fun of him for it occasionally, but he's not an anti-social, pasty white nerd so I just let it slide.

I'm also like Dolphinchica- make fun of my big bag o' drugs and you're gone. Once is cool, a couple of times, sure, but a consistent thing? Look, I need them to stay alive.