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11-08-2006, 12:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by USCTKE
heres my question...how come when things dont work out its always the guys fault.
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Because there are too damn many women (especially young women) out there who believe this ridiculous culture of manbashing, "your friends are always more important than a guy" a la Sex and the City. You're absolutely right, and I hate it.
No, you shouldn't dump your friends for a guy or put up with things with a guy you wouldn't put up with if he was a female friend. However, that doesn't mean holding the guy to some standard he can never meet.
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11-08-2006, 01:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl
However, that doesn't mean holding the guy to some standard he can never meet.
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What standard is that? How do you know he can never meet them? When he doesn't meet them and claims it's because he can't?
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11-08-2006, 01:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS
What standard is that? How do you know he can never meet them? When he doesn't meet them and claims it's because he can't?
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I feel like you are spelling banana and don't know when to stop. 
No, I mean thinking the man has to be perfect and doing things like freaking out because he forgets your one month anniversary - and then turning around and letting a girlfriend get away with not repaying a $100 loan. Or something of the like.
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It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
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11-08-2006, 02:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl
No, I mean thinking the man has to be perfect and doing things like freaking out because he forgets your one month anniversary - and then turning around and letting a girlfriend get away with not repaying a $100 loan. Or something of the like.
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Oh--well generally speaking there are things you will tolerate from your friends but not from your man and vice versa.
As far as expecting a man to be perfect and stupid stuff like celebrating month anniversaries (LOL  ), grown adults with an ounce of sense know there's no such thing as perfection and there's no point in sweating the small stuff. However, we also know that people will take as much from you as you allow them to if they believe you will not hold them to a high standard or reciprocity. To much is given much is required.
Last edited by DSTCHAOS; 11-08-2006 at 02:12 PM.
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11-08-2006, 02:14 PM
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I'm not sure where that "always" is coming from. The thread-starter said that she has been cheated on and dumped. Almost everyone responded by challenging her thinking.
(How did Sex and the City promote man-bashing?  )
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11-08-2006, 02:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laylo
(How did Sex and the City promote man-bashing? ) |
It's not OK to dissect everything your man does with your friends and make fun of it. Not to mention that some sexual things should be between you and your partner - continually airing what you do in bed with another person is disrespectful. If that show had been four guys talking like the girls do, it would never have gotten on the air.
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11-08-2006, 02:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl
It's not OK to dissect everything your man does with your friends and make fun of it. Not to mention that some sexual things should be between you and your partner - continually airing what you do in bed with another person is disrespectful. If that show had been four guys talking like the girls do, it would never have gotten on the air.
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I don't think that's complete true. But if it was true it's probably because what women say about men doesn't have much of a substantial impact on society (beyond pissing some people off or giving people some ideas). However, since men are the ones in power, what men say about women perpetuates patriarchy and male hegemony through mysogyny and sexism.
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11-08-2006, 02:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS
I don't think that's complete true. But if it was true it's probably because what women say about men doesn't have much of a substantial impact on society (beyond pissing some people off or giving people some ideas). However, since men are the ones in power, what men say about women perpetuates patriarchy and male hegemony through mysogyny and sexism.
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I beg to differ. But I don't feel like debating today so I'll just leave it at that. You have your opinion, I have mine.
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It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil
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11-08-2006, 02:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl
It's not OK to dissect everything your man does with your friends and make fun of it. Not to mention that some sexual things should be between you and your partner - continually airing what you do in bed with another person is disrespectful. If that show had been four guys talking like the girls do, it would never have gotten on the air.
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I guess I don't see women complaining about their sex lives as man-bashing. Disrespectful to their partners yes, but not man-bashing. When men do this I don't see it as sexism. And I think the appeal of the sex talk was the shock-value of women speaking frankly about sex as is commonplace for men.
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11-08-2006, 02:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laylo
Almost everyone responded by challenging her thinking.
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We challenged her thinking because she's 18 and worried about men as if she's had enough of them in her short life to be able to speak on it; her descriptions of herself make it look like she's either joking around or sadly mistaken about what life's about; and her pattern is finding men who cheat on her which probably means she's looking for the wrong things in a mate.
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11-08-2006, 02:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS
We challenged her thinking because she's 18 and worried about men as if she's had enough of them in her short life to be able to speak on it; her descriptions of herself make it look like she's either joking around or sadly mistaken about what life's about; and her pattern is finding men who cheat on her which probably means she's looking for the wrong things in a mate.
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I know, I challenged her too. That's why I was confused by the poster who asked why "its always the guy's fault," when everyone on this thread was challenging the woman complaining, not men.
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Love is an action, never simply a feeling.
Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.
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11-08-2006, 07:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by laylo
I know, I challenged her too. That's why I was confused by the poster who asked why "its always the guy's fault," when everyone on this thread was challenging the woman complaining, not men.
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I think he's referring to the poster's "men make me sad" as if it's the men's faults and not hers.
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