Your thoughts on AI: discussion goes here.

blueangel · #1 10-05-2006, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

There are quite a few people on GC who don't find it inappropriate to help someone find a local alum to give a PNM a rec. There isn't anyone on GC who thinks it's appropriate to sponsor random people on GC for AI.

So? If that is the case, what's the problem. A PNAI can ask, but she's not going to get anywhere getting a sponsor on GC.

33girl · #2 10-05-2006, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueangel

So? If that is the case, what's the problem. A PNAI can ask, but she's not going to get anywhere getting a sponsor on GC.

Oh for crying out loud in a bucket.

IT HAS HAPPENED. What part of this is not penetrating??

Like I said before, I think that the reason you're so cavalier about all this is you know ZTA alum initiation is few and far between and always has been, so it's a moot point as far as you're concerned.

blueangel · #3 10-05-2006, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

Oh for crying out loud in a bucket.

IT HAS HAPPENED. What part of this is not penetrating??

Like I said before, I think that the reason you're so cavalier about all this is you know ZTA alum initiation is few and far between and always has been, so it's a moot point as far as you're concerned.

It HAS happened? To whom and by whom? Please feel free to PM me if you don't feel comfortable naming names here. I have never heard of it.

And, no, it's not a "moot point"-- because I read the AI forum and enjoy it.. and don't want to see a vocal minority ruin it for the rest of us.

Amended to add: Alpha Frog seems to think nobody believes in sponsoring an AI from GC... so either she is right or you are.

AlphaFrog · #4 10-05-2006, 10:21 AM

Jesus Christ... "nobody" on GC is a generic term for 99.99999% of everybody. There are hundreds of thousands of members, so if there's an exception, it's going to happen. Why must you be so f*ing literal?

blueangel · #5 10-05-2006, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Jesus Christ... "nobody" on GC is a generic term for 99.99999% of everybody. There are hundreds of thousands of members, so if there's an exception, it's going to happen. Why must you be so f*ing literal?

So then you're saying that it happens but is extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely rare? .00001 %? So then, what's the problem?

AlphaFrog · #6 10-05-2006, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueangel

So then you're saying that it happens but is extremely, extremely, extremely, extremely rare? .00001 %? So then, what's the problem?

That's the problem.

blueangel · #7 10-05-2006, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

That's the problem.

It's a problem that it's rare that someone is sponsored on Greek Chat? You'd like to make it common?

Who was sponsored and who did the sponsoring? Again, please feel free to PM me the names. I have never heard of it. Or are you assuming?

CutiePie2000 · #8 10-05-2006, 11:39 AM

I'll have b*lls of steel and name them publicly:

sagesofages sponsored adduncan for Phi Mu
GPhiBLtColonel did it for Cluey, navane, & houstonchica for GPhiB.
I've been approached via PMs for sponsorship multiple times and now I just delete them, so I don't have the names anymore.
TrojanGirl was sponsored into KD by another KD member on GC, but I can't remember specifically who it was. (edit: sorry: I was incorrect here. I've apologize for this here..and also later on in the thread. Thank you.)

I used to be more open-minded to women pursuing AI through their own recommendation but I am no longer and the whole idea makes me uncomfortable, due to the downturn of events. If someone's AI pursuit comes to a grinding halt, who am I to get involved and help get it jumpstarted again? Maybe those local women are saying "no" in a tacit manner (i.e. ignoring the PNAM, hoping they'll go away), because they know something that I don't.

And also, by tacit, I mean: implied or indicated (as by an act or by silence) but not actually expressed. By doing "nothing', they're hoping that the PNAM will take the hint and drop the whole pursuit issue. I don't think that this is very nice, but a lot of people are uncomfortable with confrontation.

valkyrie · #9 10-05-2006, 11:41 AM

LOL OH SNAP. CP, I love you.

blueangel · #10 10-05-2006, 12:10 PM

Thanks for clearing this up. I had no idea this was going on. I agree, it's quite inappropriate. I don't know who is more wrong-- those asking or those doing the sponsoring.

But is shutting down the forum the answer? I don't think so. The board does so much good. This is an unfortunate, but not unsolvable issue.

As a sidebar, "ignoring a PNAI until they go away." isn't tactful. In my opinion, it's cowardly and cruel. Better to tell them nicely that they are not a good fit for the organization.

33girl · #11 10-05-2006, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueangel

As a sidebar, "ignoring a PNAI until they go away." isn't tactful. In my opinion, it's cowardly and cruel. Better to tell them nicely that they are not a good fit for the organization.

WE DO! WE DID!! WE TRIED!!! That's when you start getting on everyone's case about "torturing" someone. Haven't you ever tried to break up with a guy nicely, that doesn't make a dent, so you have to resort to being mean to make him go away?

(Internally edited for exceptionally bitchy thoughts)

And how on earth can you say "the board does so much good" when it's AIs THEMSELVES who are coming forward asking for it to be deleted? You wanted a list before, fine. Turnabout is fair play. Make us a list of SUCCESSFUL AIs - women who have actually been initiated and are active in their GLO as alumnae - who want it to stay up.

greekalum · #12 10-05-2006, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueangel

As a sidebar, "ignoring a PNAI until they go away." isn't tactful. In my opinion, it's cowardly and cruel. Better to tell them nicely that they are not a good fit for the organization.

What about encouraging people like MBurden and Scandia, who were clearly not good fits for AI, when the majority of people on the board are discouraging them? That's not cowardly, but it sure was cruel to egg them on in a futile pursuit.

CutiePie2000 · #13 10-05-2006, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueangel

As a sidebar, "ignoring a PNAI until they go away." isn't tactful. In my opinion, it's cowardly and cruel. Better to tell them nicely that they are not a good fit for the organization.

I've said this once before: "part of being an adult is having the skill to "say no" to someone and do so diplomatically. If someone cannot say "no", then it's their problem, not the prospective alumna initiate's".

But some people are just flat out freaked out by confrontation in any way, shape or form (thinking of my Executive VP at the company where I work)....they cannot do it, and they cannot say "no" to someone.
So they take the approach of "if I ignore them, they'll go away". Sure it's rude. But it is the reality.

also:
I have no perfect answer as to how persistant a PNAI may wish to be. Persistence could yield results. However, in some cases, the more one persists, the more definite the rebuff may be. And that can be very painful and devastating.

Leslie Anne · #14 10-05-2006, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CutiePie2000

I'll have b*lls of steel and name them publicly:

TrojanGirl was sponsored into KD by another KD member on GC, but I can't remember specifically who it was.

She most certainly WAS NOT!!!

LouisaMay · #15 10-05-2006, 01:33 PM

I was just about to post the same thing, Leslie Anne. I think there is some confusion between TrojanGirl and trojangal. Trojangal and I have corresponded on and off, and I am certain that she was not sponsored by someone that she knew only on the internet. Trojangal is a KD. TrojanGirl appears to be a Pi Phi. I don't know her circumstances at all, and I am not saying that she is the person who CutiePie2000 had in mind.