OPEN LETTER

jojapeach · #1 09-07-2006, 06:03 PM

Dear CoWorker:

Please buy a paddle brush, a wide tooth/rat-tatil comb, and a decent hair serum to keep your weave tight all day long. Better yet, buy a higher quality gel/setting lotion to keep your hair slicked down and appearing to blend with the weave. May I suggest Funky Friends (that blue goo)???

Everytime I see you, I resist the urge to stop you in your tracks so I can smooth out your weave that you let go wild. How is a sista with wild nappy hair gonna teach you about your weave that wear everydiay??? And that's too much weave that you got going to your waist. Come on now!

In the words of Bubba Sparxx, "Get it right! Get it right, get it tight!"

JazzyRho · #2 09-14-2006, 06:32 PM

Dear Nitwit in Media Services,

I'm starting to believe that you live to annoy me. If you bring your bubble-eyed behind in here one mo gin asking if you can pick up some paperwork for your girlfriend..i will CUT you! seriously...I'm two seconds away from socking you in your throat. I'm sorry that we, as a company, had to stoop to hiring your ol dirty looking girlfriend, but we were stuck because of the unexpected medical leave of your co-worker. But with my assistant as my witnesss, the next time you come in here and ask me the same question...it's over! Yep, remember that probationary period you're on....it will lead to termination. Try me...I'm sick of you...you don't do any work...you get paid too much..and your supervisor is scared of you. Well guess what? I'm not. I guess you've never experienced the wrath of a mad intelligent black woman..but keep it up and you will surely find out.

Now, get your dirty t-shirt wearing, cross-eyed, smelling like alcohol behind outta my face and outta my office. AND DON'T EVER COME BACKK! SERIOUSLY....

Your friendly HR Director.

jojapeach · #3 09-14-2006, 06:41 PM

^^^ Scared of you.

jojapeach · #4 09-15-2006, 05:09 PM

Receptionist in my office:

You have a raging headache, but you dislike me so much that you refuse to ask me - the only person with any medication in the building - for medication that would help you feel better. You make a box of rocks look brilliant.

I always knew your nasty attitude towards me would bite you in the behind because if you can tell our coworker that you didn't ask me for medicine, but she's damn near asking for you, then I ain't gotta do nothin' but stay black and die. Why offer when you ignore me consistently anyway? Besides, I feel pretty good right now. I'll be in the gym losing more weight while you'll be fighting Atlanta's Friday rush hour traffic (hell to the naw) when we get off at 6.

SeriousSigma22 · #5 09-17-2006, 01:18 PM

Sorhor JazzyRho,

Ha! Ha! Ha! Too Funny! Thanks for tell us how you really feel!

Serioussigma22

BlueReign · #6 10-11-2006, 09:20 AM

To my neighbors: Please stop asking me how my mother is doing. You have known her for some time and you also have her number. You can call her and find out for yourself.

Dear people who haven't seen me in a long time:

Stop asking me the same questions. I am tired of having the same long drawn out conversations about my mother, my sisters, my brother, etc., etc.? If you really wanted to know how everyone was doing you would look us up and call. The number has been the same for the last 32 years and guess what -- it's listed!! I am not a celebrity and neither are my siblings. The way you approach me you would think my name is Latoya and I had a brother named Michael.

cecarter82 · #7 10-11-2006, 09:41 AM

Dear Cousin,

Please Please Please, stop letting the dog lick your 2 year-old on the mouth. That has got to be the most disgusting thing I've seen since Flavor of Love.

RHOyal Rain · #8 10-11-2006, 08:07 PM

To the Guy that lives down the hall,
Please stop knocking on my door trying to talk to me. I don't like you. The first time I slammed the door in your face should have given you the hint that I don't like you. The times I don't answer the door should affirm that I don't like you.

Why do some people just never get hints?