Sponsoring a PNAM from the internet

[blueangel]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

I think you do the mature thing and tell them that the group has decided not to pursue her as an AI candidate. It's better to be honest and frank than to dread answering your cell phone and checking your email, or hiding behind displays at the grocery store! Send the person an email if you don't want to do it face to face or by phone, a la:

Dear Patty PNAM,

We enjoyed meeting you the other night at the ABC Alumnae Social. While you seem to have many impressive qualities and achievements, I regret to inform you that we have decided not to pursue AI with you at this time. Our membership selection is, of course, a private matter, and while I cannot disclose the details of selection, I do want to impart that I think you are a lovely person with much to offer your community. I wish you the best of luck in your AI search.

Respectfully,
Angie Alumna

This is a tactful way to formally say, "Don't let the door hit you in the rear on the way out."

This post should be framed!

It's much kinder to tell a PNAM that she isn't right for the group than to not say anything. Silence can mean, "We're waiting on more paperwork." or "We're waiting on a vote from national." or "We don't do AI very often, so we're inquiring on how to proceed." If the decision is no, then your letter is a perfect and tactful way to handle the situation.

[Scandia]

The truth does hurt- although you put it in a nice way.

But it does not hurt anywhere near as much as passive aggression.

So letting a person know is the right thing to do- as long as it is done kindly.

[greekalum]

I'd omit that last sentence, but otherwise seems like the most gracious way to do it.

[blueGBI]

I'm not a PNAM nor am I in a sorority but if I was, I'd try to get in contact with the local chapter if I can before I start contacting people online. I think face to face contact is better than online contact. That's just my small opinion.