Sponsoring a PNAM from the internet

DolphinChicaDDD · #1 08-30-2006, 05:55 PM

We have previously debated about supplying PNM we only know via the internet with recommendations for recruitment. Well, what about PNAM?

If I remember correctly, the general consensus was that most women were uncomfortable providing a rec for a PNM they didn't know in real life, or at least didn't talk/email a few times. Do you feel the same way about PNAM? Does the fact that they have graduated make them more mature and therefore, easier to support without knowing the woman?

Thoughts?

LPIDelta · #2 08-30-2006, 06:04 PM

I am not sure how anyone, in good conscious, could provide a recommendation or sponsorship for someone they have not met in person. I view a recommendation as giving my word that this person is suitable for whatever purpose the rec is for, and I would not want to jeopardize my reputation (or my organization's for that matter) for someone I only know online.

It's like people who say that want to get married to someone they met online before they actually have met them--how often does that REALLY work??

ThetaPrincess24 · #3 08-30-2006, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DolphinChicaDDD

? Does the fact that they have graduated make them more mature and therefore, easier to support without knowing the woman?

Thoughts?

Oh TRUST me....just because someone has graduated, or is married with/without children for that matter does NOT mean they are mature or more mature than a traditional undergraduate student.....

valkyrie · #4 08-30-2006, 06:23 PM

I would never even consider providing sponsorship or any type of recommendation for someone pursuing AI if I have not met and gotten to know her, IN PERSON. Ever. I think that is completely inappropriate.

greekalum · #5 08-30-2006, 06:26 PM

I've written recs for PNMs I don't know personally (usually things like, "her resume seems impressive and I know her cousin, a lovely woman, well") but those are for women who are vouched for by people I know in real life.

CutiePie2000 · #6 08-30-2006, 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greekalum

I've written recs for PNMs I don't know personally (usually things like, "her resume seems impressive and I know her cousin, a lovely woman, well") but those are for women who are vouched for by people I know in real life.

Exactly....there needs to be some "in real life" vouching, somewhere down the line, and preferably closer to you, rather than further down the line.

See more of my thoughts in:
"As an alumna, how WELL should you know a PNM in order to write a RecForm/Sponsorship? "
http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ad.php?t=18519

AChiOhSnap · #7 08-30-2006, 06:37 PM

I would not recommend anyone for undergraduate recruitment nor would I sponsor/recommend/introduce someone for AI unless I knew them personally or were introduced to them by a close friend or family member.

If my cousin were to call me up and say "Hey, my best friend is going through recruitment at State U, she's an amazing girl, can you write her a rec?" then of course I'd call, email and IM the PNM to get to know her. Would I write a rec if some random internet person were to email or PM me out of the blue? Not a chance.

Same goes for AI -- actually more so. I guess I feel that by introducting a PNAM to your group, you are saying "I personally vouch for the character, integrity and ability of this woman to successfully integrate into this sorority." That's a huge responsibility for you to shoulder, and you look irresponsible if the PNAM turns out to be a bad fit. If I personally knew someone who exemplified the ideals of my sorority and would be willing to place my reputation on the line because this woman would contribute so much to AXO, then that would be the only situation in which I would recommend someone for AI.

TrueBlueKappa · #8 08-30-2006, 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by valkyrie

I would never even consider providing sponsorship or any type of recommendation for someone pursuing AI if I have not met and gotten to know her, IN PERSON. Ever. I think that is completely inappropriate.

Co-sign!

KunjaPrincess · #9 08-30-2006, 07:10 PM

I met one of my sponsors originally from Greekchat. We went out for lunch, just the two of us and took it from there. From there I met a slightly larger group of alums and then a lot of the rest of the chapter. Was this the ideal way to meet my sponsor? Likely not but it worked for us. I wasn't aware of it at the time but my initial contact was our alumnae chapter president at the time. However, I didn't contact anyone other than Gamma Phi and had already done a lot of research before making contact. I also didn't broadcast my AI journey until about a week before initiation although my sponsor had mentioned me.

SmartBlondeGPhB · #10 08-31-2006, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KunjaPrincess

I met one of my sponsors originally from Greekchat. We went out for lunch, just the two of us and took it from there. From there I met a slightly larger group of alums and then a lot of the rest of the chapter. Was this the ideal way to meet my sponsor? Likely not but it worked for us. I wasn't aware of it at the time but my initial contact was our alumnae chapter president at the time. However, I didn't contact anyone other than Gamma Phi and had already done a lot of research before making contact. I also didn't broadcast my AI journey until about a week before initiation although my sponsor had mentioned me.

Yes, but I never officially sponsored you.........

Technically, I only helped you get the ball rolling.

GeekyPenguin · #11 08-31-2006, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KunjaPrincess

I met one of my sponsors originally from Greekchat. We went out for lunch, just the two of us and took it from there. From there I met a slightly larger group of alums and then a lot of the rest of the chapter. Was this the ideal way to meet my sponsor? Likely not but it worked for us. I wasn't aware of it at the time but my initial contact was our alumnae chapter president at the time. However, I didn't contact anyone other than Gamma Phi and had already done a lot of research before making contact. I also didn't broadcast my AI journey until about a week before initiation although my sponsor had mentioned me.

I think this is very different. I see no problem with this at all.

I do, however, dislike the idea of somebody sponsoring a woman they have never met in person.

AGDee · #12 08-30-2006, 07:13 PM

No. If she was local to me, I would consider meeting with her in person and then decide how to proceed.

Tippiechick · #13 08-30-2006, 07:23 PM

No, I feel that AI is an honor and should be used selectively. So, there's NO way I would sponsor someone from the interweb.

BadSquirrelBeta · #14 08-31-2006, 01:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee

No. If she was local to me, I would consider meeting with her in person and then decide how to proceed.

Snaps to that...

CutiePie2000 · #15 08-31-2006, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AGDee

No. If she was local to me, I would consider meeting with her in person and then decide how to proceed.

I could possibly consider that, but the trouble is, once you meet them, if you don't "dig them", they could be difficult to shake. And if you know that the answer is going to be "no" by your chapter sisters, you might have a hard time getting rid of "hanger-on'ers". Some people just don't know how to take the "hint" when they are being told "NO".

SIGH.......