Accepting Bid as a contract

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by carnation

What Alphagamuga said! Because if you're going to force women to go to prefs they never wanted to go to, it's horrible to then penalize them for SIPing. It can also hurt sororities.

I recall a couple of years ago hearing about a sorority that had 2 full pref parties and didn't get one new member from them. Why? Because apparently, no one wanted to be there but was forced by Panhellenic to go as their second pref party. Girls who were in-house legacies or otherwise almost sure things to get a bid elsewhere were sitting there, as I'm told, with gritted teeth just counting the minutes until they could be out. Most of the members were aware of it and were in tears.

Then the next day when the bid lists came out and the sorority had no pledges, they were torn up again because some of them had been so sure that PNMs were there because they really liked them. The girls who told me about this said that of all the girls they knew at that pref, every one SIPed another sorority.

With a few exceptions, this could have been my chapter in the mid 90's. The chapter was small, had gone through internal turmoil, and were exhausted in rectifying it. By the time Recruitment started, they were practically cross-eyed with the lack of sleep, and it showed. There were about 20 women at each of the Pref Parties (huge, for our campus), and few seemed happy to be there.

On Bid Night, one PNM who didn't realize that putting a GLO on her Bid Card obligated her to pledge was matched with us - but only because the Panhellenic Advisor told us to put every PNM on our Bid List! I can still hear the arguing of the Panhel Advisor and our TCC, over trying to make that poor woman pledge where she obviously did NOT want to be - arguing with her sobbing in the background!

The only good it did was to solidify the Chapter, and they decided to become good at COR. And trust me, they are fantastic! This summer, they became a Diamond Four Point Chapter AND won our Achievement Award!
Yet, I would never "cheapen" our bid like that again.

[dancemodel6]

I will give a little bit of a background but i almost have the same story as the girl that started this thread.

I was a transfer student so i rushed as a junior. I went through formal recuirment, 5 days plus bid night. My campus has 9 sororities, and about 600+ girls rushing. After the first ranking I was invited back to 2 houses. It was saddening. I decided to stay because one was one of my top choices and the other one was my very last choice, but hey atleas i liked one. When it came to ranking on pref night I thouht everything went well and i'd get into my top choice. I ranked them both, if you mentioned "sucide bid" theyd make sure you wouldnt do it. The next day i waited in line for my bid and i didnt get a bid for the house i wanted. My heart was broken. My Rho Gamma told me to go for bid day maybe id like the girls. Girls were nice but i felt uncomfortable, so i dropped out. As a junior i am left with no options, other then to rush in the Fall as a senior...To qualify for COB or Spring Rush i would have had to drop out on Pref night and not rank....that is another reason i signed the bid i had nothing to lose.
it seems a little unfair, especially for a transfer.

Originally Posted by dancemodel6

I will give a little bit of a background but i almost have the same story as the girl that started this thread.

I was a transfer student so i rushed as a junior. I went through formal recuirment, 5 days plus bid night. My campus has 9 sororities, and about 600+ girls rushing. After the first ranking I was invited back to 2 houses. It was saddening. I decided to stay because one was one of my top choices and the other one was my very last choice, but hey atleas i liked one. When it came to ranking on pref night I thouht everything went well and i'd get into my top choice. I ranked them both, if you mentioned "sucide bid" theyd make sure you wouldnt do it. The next day i waited in line for my bid and i didnt get a bid for the house i wanted. My heart was broken. My Rho Chi told me to go for bid day maybe id like the girls. Girls were nice but i felt uncomfortable, so i dropped out. As a junior i am left with no options, other then to rush in the Fall as a senior...To qualify for COB or Spring Rush i would have had to drop out on Pref night and not rank....that is another reason i signed the bid i had nothing to lose.
it seems a little unfair, especially for a transfer.

The Rho Chi should have explained that once you accept that bid, you're bound to it for a calendar year. I'm sorry that you got stuck in a crappy situation.

[dancemodel6]

i was told i was unable to rush until the next fall whether or not i took the bid.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by dancemodel6

i was told i was bound for a year to not rush until the nex fall whether or not i took the bid.

This is true. Whether you took it or not, you'd still have to wait a year. By attending prefs and submitting a final ranking (your pref card) you agree to this one year rule. I would really hope that your Rho Chi explained this to you and if she didn't, I'm sorry. This is one of those really important points that Panhellenics need to make sure that they communicate to their girls.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by dancemodel6

I will give a little bit of a background but i almost have the same story as the girl that started this thread.

I was a transfer student so i rushed as a junior. I went through formal recuirment, 5 days plus bid night. My campus has 9 sororities, and about 600+ girls rushing. After the first ranking I was invited back to 2 houses. It was saddening. I decided to stay because one was one of my top choices and the other one was my very last choice, but hey atleas i liked one. When it came to ranking on pref night I thouht everything went well and i'd get into my top choice. I ranked them both, if you mentioned "sucide bid" theyd make sure you wouldnt do it. The next day i waited in line for my bid and i didnt get a bid for the house i wanted. My heart was broken. My Rho Gamma told me to go for bid day maybe id like the girls. Girls were nice but i felt uncomfortable, so i dropped out. As a junior i am left with no options, other then to rush in the Fall as a senior...To qualify for COB or Spring Rush i would have had to drop out on Pref night and not rank....that is another reason i signed the bid i had nothing to lose.
it seems a little unfair, especially for a transfer.

I'll admit that it upsets me when Rho Gammas and Panhellenic exec and advisors make PNMs feel like they aren't allowed to SIP. It's like all they care about is matching percentages as opposed to happy members. PNMs should be given accurate information as to the consequences of ranking/not ranking and make that decision for themselves.

However, based on the information about you (transfer junior) and your campus (9 chapters, 600 PNMs), I don't think it matters. Let's suppose you did SIP. You would have gone unmatched and would have been eligible for spring informal recruitment.

1. Realize that few, if any, chapters will be participating. It is likely that the chapter you are bound to might be the only one participating. Your first choice made quota, so they probably won't be participating.
2. If other chapters are participating, they likely have very few spots to fill and will probably fill them quietly by bidding women that their members already know.

As a transfer junior, your chances aren't going to get any better as semesters pass. From the description of your campus, your class standing is likely a big factor working against you. Even if you were to depledge and try again next fall as a senior, I am willing to bet you'll be cut from every chapter on campus.

So what's the point? In your situation, I'm 99.9999% sure this was your only chance to be Greek. Your choices were this chapter or GDI. I would have advised you to try to find your niche in the chapter and if you really don't want to be a member, drop out before initiation. But it's too late.

(Side note: I'm not sure why you say it seems a little unfair especially for a transfer. What makes the transfer part different from anyone else?)

[33girl]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

(Side note: I'm not sure why you say it seems a little unfair especially for a transfer. What makes the transfer part different from anyone else?)

Because they should have spoonfed the transfer all the info/stereotypes on all the chapters since she hasn't been there since freshman year to learn it herself. That's how I read it, anyway.

Unless she went from a branch campus to a main campus, and that really isn't the same thing.

[dancemodel6]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

(Side note: I'm not sure why you say it seems a little unfair especially for a transfer. What makes the transfer part different from anyone else?)

well. transfers coming into a four year school from a community college transfer in as a junior. someone rushing in the same poition were they were bound for one year but rushed as a freshman, or sophmore would have the next year to give it another shot. junior transfers gets one shot and one shot only. what makes it different from a junior that had been there and a transfers that someone who had been there had 2 previous years to rush.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by dancemodel6

well. transfers coming into a four year school from a community college transfer in as a junior. someone rushing in the same poition were they were bound for one year but rushed as a freshman, or sophmore would have the next year to give it another shot. junior transfers gets one shot and one shot only. what makes it different from a junior that had been there and a transfers that someone who had been there had 2 previous years to rush.

What great chances would you have to get a bid to a chapter you wanted even if you weren't bound for a year? Are the chapters you're interested in even doing COR? I think a lot of this is overblown.

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

I think a lot of this is overblown.

A-MEN.

[dancemodel6]

what do you mean by COR, is that like COB? but yea actually my top two choices did have COB

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by dancemodel6

what do you mean by COR, is that like COB? but yea actually my top two choices did have COB

Yes, COR is the same thing as COB, just a different term.

Keep in mind that while your top choices may be having COB, you can't accept a bid from any sorority for one calendar year. You can go to the COB events if you really want, but the sororities cannot offer you a bid.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by dancemodel6

what do you mean by COR, is that like COB? but yea actually my top two choices did have COB

Well, that was hurdle #1, but #2 is that these chapters had a chance to give you a bid during FR and chose not to. It is very rare for a chapter to turn around and give a bid to a PNM they released just weeks after releasing her. It has happened, but there is usually a reason why they took a second look (i.e. you are best friends with one of their New Members, etc.)

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by honeychile

With a few exceptions, this could have been my chapter in the mid 90's. The chapter was small, had gone through internal turmoil, and were exhausted in rectifying it. By the time Recruitment started, they were practically cross-eyed with the lack of sleep, and it showed. There were about 20 women at each of the Pref Parties (huge, for our campus), and few seemed happy to be there.

On Bid Night, one PNM who didn't realize that putting a GLO on her Bid Card obligated her to pledge was matched with us - but only because the Panhellenic Advisor told us to put every PNM on our Bid List! I can still hear the arguing of the Panhel Advisor and our TCC, over trying to make that poor woman pledge where she obviously did NOT want to be - arguing with her sobbing in the background!

The only good it did was to solidify the Chapter, and they decided to become good at COR. And trust me, they are fantastic! This summer, they became a Diamond Four Point Chapter AND won our Achievement Award!
Yet, I would never "cheapen" our bid like that again.

Don't leave us hanging! What happened to the poor woman?

[TriDeltaSallie]

Given the seriousness of signing a bid card, SIPing, etc. and all the potential for mistakes to be made (Rho Chis mess up in not clearly explaining this information to PNMs, PNMs don't listen or understand, etc.) why doesn't NPC come up with some kind of little card that CLEARLY explains to the PNM exactly what the consequences are? Every woman gets it when rush kicks off and again when it is time to sign the bid card. Every woman reads it and knows exactly what her options are. Either NPC has one that every school uses or each school comes up with their own and has it approved. It doesn't matter to me.

This seems way too important to leave it to chance as to whether a Rho Chi adequately and accurately explains this to each and every woman. When a woman is in emotional turmoil trying to make such a big decision, having something in writing will be much more real than one more person talking when she's been listening to people talk all week.

Sallie