my recruitment experience so far

[AlexMack]

Originally Posted by lacavazzini

i mentioned this before but i wanted to know if this helps me at all .. my cousin is an active in my top sorority .. if i've made it through to the third round(philanthropy), would you guys feel bad about dropping a senior active's cousin or giving her a bad comment on her review?

No, especially if she thought she had a great chance at joining just because she's a legacy. You are your own person, not an extension of your relative and if you don't mesh well with the chapter, I won't hesitate to drop or make a bad comment.

[lacavazzini]

no i definitely dont think im getting in just because i have a family member in my top choice .. i think i really clicked with the girls and a lot of the girls have said they had heard about me from my cousin and were excited to meet me .. im just really stressed out with classes and rushing and other things that i need a little bit of comfort and wanted to know if this helps me in the least. i know everyone ends up where they belong but ive heard this so much im starting to doubt it and think girls say it just to say it.

[Leslie Anne]

For the most part, when people say "you end up where you belong" it really is true. The thing is though that "where you belong" doesn't necessarily mean your top choice. Often PNMs think that they belong in their top choice when it doesn't really work that way.

As for having a cousin in a sorority you like, I'd have to echo what Centaur said. It's great to have close friends or relations in a chapter but when it comes down to it, it really means diddly. Unless you're a legacy (and I'm not sure about other NPCs, but in KD a cousin is not a legacy) extra thought isn't given to relations. It all comes down to whether or not you fit with the chapter.

I don't mean to be overly negative here. I know recruitment can be stressful. Unfortunately, there really isn't much comfort to be found since you can never know for sure what's going to happen. The important thing is to keep an open mind about all 4 of your remaining options.

Good luck with the rest of recruitment! I hope you'll be happy in the end.

[WVU alpha phi]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Honestly, just continue being yourself. If you were to start being overly "OMG I LOVE YOUR SORORITY SO MUCH AND I HOPE YOU INVITE ME BACK!" the sororities would get kind of creeped out. My best advice is to just keep smiling, be genuinely interested in learning about the different philanthropies, and be attentive during conversation (you don't want to send off rude vibes by looking like you aren't listening to someone).

Very true. We had a girl come through rush two years ago that we STILL refer to as Alpha Phi Stalker. She knew EVERYTHING about us, it was pretty weird. Funny thing is that I think she actually ended up pledging another sorority. But still, I agree with KSUViolet, just act really interested, ask questions, and it's OK to say something like "I really love it here" as long as you're not repeating it constantly or something.

[PKTKKG]

Originally Posted by lacavazzini

philanthropy is tomorrow friday feb 16 and saturday feb 17. i can attend all 4, the max is 5 but i didnt get invites back from 5. my top 2 sororities are still in the 4 i have left. is there anything you guys reccommend saying that would let the girls know that im really interested in their sorority that may help my chances of getting invited back for preference without sounding obsessed?

Be genuinely excited about their party. Compliment them on their party, decorations, etc. and let them know that you can really feel the sisterhood of the group and what a great thing that is. Tell them how happy you are that you are back today and that you have met some wonderful women this week. Let them know how exciting it is to hope that soon you will be participating in activities and how you can't wait to get involved. Continue to ask good questions. A good one to ask and show interest is 'why did you go XYZ' 'How did you decide'? It should provoke some good discussion and shows great interst on your part.

I agree that you don't want to be rabid about the exitement, but show enough to let them know that you are genuinely interested in their group without saying those exact words.

Good luck!!!

[kddani]

Originally Posted by PKTKKG

let them know that you can really feel the sisterhood of the group and what a great thing that is.

Most of the advice we can give you is all a matter of opinion. For instance, the above, to me personally, would have been weird to hear when I was an active. I mean, maybe it you phrased it something like "everyone here seems like such good friends" it might sound better, but saying you can "really feel the sisterhood" sounds strange to me. Say what you actually believe or think, don't be a cheeseball or stalkerlike. Don't say something you think they want to hear when you don't believe it yourself.

I will also echo what has been said above. Having a cousin in this group means little to nothing. Judging from the number of times you've asked about it, it seems like you're hoping to rely on it. Rest on your own laurels, don't think you have an "in". Your cousin only has one vote. It takes a lot more votes than that to be extended a bid.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally Posted by lacavazzini

i mentioned this before but i wanted to know if this helps me at all .. my cousin is an active in my top sorority .. if i've made it through to the third round(philanthropy), would you guys feel bad about dropping a senior active's cousin or giving her a bad comment on her review?

I would express my opinion as needed. I wouldn't care who she knew.

[Denise_DPhiE]

Originally Posted by kddani

Rest on your own laurels, don't think you have an "in". Your cousin only has one vote. It takes a lot more votes than that to be extended a bid.

And to add to that, without knowing membership selection processes of any group other than my own, it might take only ONE sister who DOESN'T wan't you to eliminate you from consideration. So, keep four choices open and be true to yourself and say what your heart says (and avoid cheesiness at at all cost!)

Good luck.

[Denise_DPhiE]

Originally Posted by lacavazzini

i mentioned this before but i wanted to know if this helps me at all .. my cousin is an active in my top sorority .. if i've made it through to the third round(philanthropy), would you guys feel bad about dropping a senior active's cousin or giving her a bad comment on her review?

I would not feel bad AT ALL. My chapter has dropped chapter sister legacies at least three times. Chapter sister legacies as in they grew up in the same house which is a lot closer relation than cousin. The active sister got over it and her sister found a home in another sorority in all three cases (and we always make quota so national office is fine with this as long as the VP Recruitment files proper paperwork)

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by lacavazzini

would you guys feel bad about dropping a senior active's cousin or giving her a bad comment on her review?

We've already established that you are probably not a legacy. You are equivalent to someone in the chapter having a good friend go through. They know more about you than other PNMs, which means that they will be better able to determine whether you are a good fit for the chapter. If something needs to be said, it gets said.

I am glad that you have more than one choice remaining that you like! Have fun tonight!

[KSUViolet06]

I echo everyone else when I say please keep your options open. You never know what might happen with recruitment and you want to have at least one other chapter at this point that you really like, just in case your top choice doesn't invite you back.

Also, I wouldn't personally feel bad about dropping one of my sister's cousins. When participating in recruitment as a sorority member, you understand that the process is all about finding the best women for the chapter, even if that means cutting someone who is related to one of your sisters. If we took women just to avoid hurting feelings, then we wouldn't be doing what is best for our chapter.

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=83501

The advice given to you in that thread is helpful and I hope that it answers any questions you may have.

[Stef the Pef]

It sounds like you're still keeping an open mind about the other groups as well. I also wouldn't mention that you're a tie to another group in other rooms because that may come off to them like you already decided that it's that one or no one. (I accidentally mentioned my half-sister's chapter in other rooms and got cut HARD the next day--I guess people assumed I was going there? Oy.) Good luck!

[lacavazzini]

went back to the 4 i had left today and yesterday.
went to pink and teal yesterday.

pink - cute not as good as the last time i had been there. was paired with another rushee and a girl in the sorority. the girl i was paired with was socially akward and couldnt carry on a conversation. didnt like them as much as i had in other rounds.

teal - LOVED AGAIN!!! im obsessed. seriously. talked to 6 girls who were super excited to see me and i already know ive been invited back for pref. accidentally slipped out, will confirm tomorrow morning when i can tell for sure which 3 im invited back to. had the best conversations and girls kept slipping things like next yr we can or this summer we want you to live with us. loveeeee them. deff still on top by far.

went to orange and red today.
orange - didnt really like. their philanthropy craft was cute but the girls i talked to i didn't like very much. really cant see myself there at all.

red - liked a lot. still my second choice. really liked their slide show and i was paired with two girls in this sorority. if i dont get a bid from teal im hoping i can get one from red.

Originally Posted by lacavazzini

went back to the 4 i had left today and
teal - LOVED AGAIN!!! im obsessed. seriously. talked to 6 girls who were super excited to see me and i already know ive been invited back for pref. accidentally slipped out, will confirm tomorrow morning when i can tell for sure which 3 im invited back to. had the best conversations and girls kept slipping things like next yr we can or this summer we want you to live with us. loveeeee them. deff still on top by far.

You might want to be careful about what they're saying. It might have "slipped" or they might have wanted you to come to Pref, but only tomorrow can tell. Also, a lot of what they said could be considered dirty rushing.