kitten24's recruitment experience

[kitten24]

Hi everyone. I really want to share my story and ask for support from women who had a similar experience.

Last week, I went through informal recruitment at my school. I had been soooo excited to rush for months... I didn't rush in the fall because rush week was the first week of moving up to the college and I didn't feel I could handle rushing and moving in on the same day. Soon after I made that decision I really regretted it. I had a hard time finding other things to be involved in on campus. But I was hoping my school had an informal recruitment and I was so happy to find out they did! Only 4 sororities (there's a lot more at my school) were doing informal recruitment, but since I didn't really know anything about any of them, I didn't think that was a big deal.

During rush, we spent about an hour at each of the chapter houses, getting to know the girls and chatting and stuff. I really liked all the girls that I met. I felt really welcomed and everyone seemed so nice. Of the 4 houses I felt like I really connected especially with two of them and I was so excited about getting asked back.

On the first day that the sororities could contact us, I didn't get anything and I figured it was no big deal. Then the next day, still nothing, and I found out that lots of other girls that went through rush had received bids already, from the sororities that I liked the most. I cannot understand why I didn't get asked back. I know that they don't have space for everybody, but I really felt like being with these girls was my home.

How is the best way to deal with this rejection? I really wish I knew why I didn't make it, and if it is worth it to try formal recruitment next fall. I am afraid of going through the pain again, but I really thought this was the right thing for me. Did anybody else rush, not make it, and rush again and be able to join? Most of the stories I have read here have happy endings. Mostly I am just feeling really, really sad.

[FSUZeta]

i am sorry that rush didn't work out the way you had hoped.

are you a freshman-or rather, when formal recruitment rolls around again, what class rank will you be? depending on the campus and more specificially, the chapter of that sorority,your class rank(freshman, sophomore, junior) may matter.

evaluate your gpa-is it competitive? many chapters have an unpublished minimum gpa they are looking for-at the low end a 2.5 or 2.75 but others will not pledge a girl whose gpa is under a 3.0.

have you gotten involved on campus ? sororities are looking for girls who are going to participate in the life of the campus(sga, clubs, volunteer opportunities, professional orgs., intramurals) and be a good representative for them. but whether you rush again or not, you should do yourself a favor by getting involved in some organization. potential employers are looking for people who are mutifaceted-who have diverse interests.

as to not getting invited back-maybe those girls who were invited back had gone thru recruitment in the fall, so the members remembered them, or they had made a connection with them back then. maybe they have friends in the sororities. maybe they have befriended some of the sorority members when they met them in class or in a campus organization they both hold membership in. maybe their roommate is a new member of that sorority. maybe they had recommendations so the members knew a little more about them. maybe they had 4.0's.

[AlphaFrog]

I went to a few COB events 2nd semester my freshman year, but didn't get a bid until formal recruitment my soph year.

I would definitely sign up for rush next year. I get the impression that you're will be a sophomore rushing, which can somewhat limit your selection. But if you go in with an open mind, I think you will be able to find a fit.

[violetpretty]

I would definitely encourage you to sign up for recruitment in the fall. What region of the country is your school in? Some schools won't even think twice about giving a bid to sophomores.

[Eirbear]

I'm sorry that it didn't work out the way you'd have liked.

I would definately suggest you go through formal in the fall, especially since you didn't go through formal this year. Informal can sometimes be harder, I think, because sometimes sororities (or, at my school at least, most of the time) take far less girls during informal than they do for formal.

[adpiucf]

Sorry it didn't work out. Membership selection is confidential to each sorority and cannot be discussed with non-members. That being said, rejection is never fun. It is something all of us experience throughout our lives, and it does go from being devastating to mildly irritating as you go. Take some time to mope and move on. Try formal recruitment in the fall when you have more options available to you. If if doesn't work out, close the door on NPC membership and focus on a different social activity.

In the meantime, I assure you that there are plenty of ways to find your niche on campus. Go to a few meetings on campus for organizations that may interest you. This is a great way to make new friends and you will likely meet some sorority women this way. It's one method of "stealth networking" so they can get a sense of you and talk you up to their sisters. Also work on keeping your grades up and maintain a healthy and personable attitude in the community. You never know who is watching. You may also want to rush a non-NPC Greek Organization like a co-ed Greek service or pre-professional organization. These are great groups to be associated with and you will make a lot of wonderful connections, including members who may also be social Greeks.

Good luck, and again, I am so sorry. I know I can't fully understand what you're going through right now, but I've gone through similiar experiences, so I do empathize. Remember that you're obviously a talented and kind person, or else you wouldn't have gotten accepted to your university and to have the friends in your life that you do! There are positives here, and I hope this will be only a temporary setback in helping you find what you want.

[AChiOhSnap]

Originally Posted by kitten24

How is the best way to deal with this rejection? I really wish I knew why I didn't make it, and if it is worth it to try formal recruitment next fall. I am afraid of going through the pain again, but I really thought this was the right thing for me. Did anybody else rush, not make it, and rush again and be able to join? Most of the stories I have read here have happy endings. Mostly I am just feeling really, really sad.

Many women have gone through two -- or even three -- recruitments before receiving bids. Some women go through three and never receive bids anywhere.

There are a few reasons why you may have not received a bid that are pretty general:
1. There really weren't that many spaces available (if 30 women show up for 3 spaces, lots of really great women will be cut).
2. FSUZeta had a really good point. It's possible that other women were better connected with the chapters than you, either because they had lots of friends in the chapter already or went through FR in the fall and were familiar faces. If this is the first time you've ever met a lot of women in your two top sororities, you would have a lot of ground to make up vs. PNMs who already had made connections with some of the sisters.
3. This is the harshest one, and I really hope this isn't the reason you didn't receive a bid! Sometimes, though, PNMs need to take a long hard look at the various sororities in recruitment and be really honest with themselves...the sorority they feel most "at home" with may not feel the same way. When I went through FR, lots of women were crushed by not being asked back to certain chapters...but when all was said and done, it was pretty obvious that the PNMs would not have fit in with these sororities. It's a matter of being totally, gut-wrenchingly honest with yourself...if you go through COB with a sorority that's filled with lots and lots of women who may be nice/awesome/funny/kind but besides that they're nothing like you, this could be the reason why you weren't extended a bid. Not because they didn't like you as a person or whatever, but because you just simply weren't right for their sorority.

Now to address the question of going through FR in the fall. I would absolutely recommend doing so if you can handle the potential for another rejection. You mentioned that you didn't want to go through this pain again and nobody can guarantee that you won't be cut by every chapter during FR. It's up to you to decide if you're emotionally able to handle that idea. That said, I personally think you should go through FR. You've only met four out of many chapters at your school, and you might meet women from another chapter where you'd feel even more "at home." You might decide that being in a sorority really isn't for you after all. You might get a bid from your favorite sorority from the informal recruitment period this year. By going through FR, you'll be able to gain an even better perspective on what kind of sorority experience is right for you.

Just to reiterate though, you first have to know that you'd be emotionally able to handle the (small, but still real) chance that you'll be cut by every house during FR. If that's too much of an emotional risk for you, then I wouldn't recommend formal recruitment.

[kitten24]

Thank you so much for all your posts. I really appreciate getting your perspectives. To answer some of the questions, yes I am a freshmen now so I would be a sophomore next year. I go to a huge school in the southeast. My GPA last semester was a 3.25. I don't know if that was part of the reason I didn't get picked or not. I guess I will consider going through FR although right now I don't know if it's a good idea.

From other things I've read on the board, I get the idea that some of the schools in the southeast are extremely competitive. Is that really the case?

[adpiucf]

Many schools in the southeast are considered very competitive Greek Life campuses. First semester freshman with stellar GPAs and activities, as well as alumnae recommendations, have the best shot. Having been on your campus for a semester, you should be able to assess if your school is like this. If you have any sorority acquaintances at your school, you can ask them if most the ladies who go through recruitment are freshmen, or if many of the PNM's come in with recommendations from alumnae. At these schools it is harder to get a bid.

Formal recruitment is many months away. I would suggest to start making plans to secure alumnae recommendations by mid-March. You can prepare and then choose not to go through, but other than some ruffled feathers if you don't get asked back, what harm will it do to try it out. I'm sorry to sound cold, but if you're worried about being rejected, then don't ever apply for a job or scholarship or go on another date. You never know how something is going to turn out unless you give it a chance. I say go for it

[Mercergirl2010]

I go to a school in the southeast, and I would have to say that it is slightly competitive. We only have 4 chapters on my campus, so that makes the competition a little tougher. However, AChiOhSnap is right; you should only go through formal recruitment if you are mentally and emotionally prepared for another possible rejection. Also, you only got cut from 4 houses; you have not seen the others on your campus. I would go through it and visit all of the houses; even the ones you just got cut from. You may find that special house that was meant for you.

[emily0325]

You should totally go through formal next year, because you only got a taste of a small portion of the greek community when you went through informal. Your home could be with a totally different sorority.

[Denise_DPhiE]

Originally Posted by kitten24

From other things I've read on the board, I get the idea that some of the schools in the southeast are extremely competitive. Is that really the case?

After pm'ing with you and knowing your school, I would say it is one of the most competitive in the state (not Ole Miss competitve but still extremely competitive).

Upperclassmen would have to be stellar to get a bid - so keep your gpa up (3.25 is in excees of most of the groups minimums most likely) and get involved heavily in one activity you can really enjoy and make a statement in and run for a position too - this looks greeat.

I think securing recs for the groups - all groups - would be a good start - if you divulge the school - some will advise how to obtain these. Your hometown will likely also have an alumnae panhellenic who can assist in rec writing. In short, an alum interviews you and helps translate you into the sorority by answering key questions about you.

Best of luck and should greek life not be right for you, there are many activities to pass the time in a very memorable way.

[EGAOPi]

I know this response is coming very late, but if you're still debating about formal recruitment and still reading these things, maybe this will help.

Excellent advice from AChiOSnap and Denise DPhiE...and everyone, really.

Like everyone has pointed out, recruitment in the southeast can be very tough. I go to a big southeastern school, as well, and I know a lot of people that have been cut heavily or were never placed, but our recruitment pales in comparison to some of the even bigger name schools in the state.

I had a friend that went through recruitment at a huge southeastern school as a sophomore with a GPA similar to yours...she was captain of the equestrian team, very well dressed, cute girl. She didn't have any recs, but she had a lot going for her. She was cut heavily after the first two days and was only asked back to 2 houses on sisterhood day. According to her, they were "bottom tier" and she decided to drop. However, her roommate went thru recruitment with her...she had a lower GPA, no activities, no recs...also a sophomore...and she got a full schedule everyday and was extended a bid to her first choice sorority. I am not sure what happened there, but things do work out differently for different people. You can have everything in the world going for you, or so it may seem, but there are a lot of different factors that come into play. Competition is huge and the southern tradition of Greek Life is definitely one of those factors--there are typically many women that come through recruitment in the South, whether or not your school is in the Deep South...and these girls come in with massive amounts of recommendations and connections. Even for some of them, things don't always work out.

It's important to just stay positive, be friendly and be yourself. I agree with the other girls about getting really involved in an activity, internship or community service project. Do something memorable. Give them something to remember you by--something that makes you special and makes them know that you would be an asset to their chapter.

In many ways, formal recruitment is more stressful and difficult, but I think informal can be even harder. It just depends on what both you and the chapters are looking for. Like it was pointed out above, sometimes sororities do informal recruitment in search of filling 2 or 3 spots, but they'll have 60 girls show up.

I would definitely encourage you to go through again. I've known girls, like others, that have went through 3 times and never made it. Other girls I've known go thru twice and have everything work out amazingly the second time around. Other girls find their home the first time; some get a bid one year but find out it was the wrong place for them, go thru again, and find the place they were meant to be the 2nd time around.

Being Greek is an incredible thing--something that is so difficult to describe. It's so much more than words can describe and, if given the chance, I think it's something that everyone interested should experience.

Good luck to you and hope to hear about your formal recruitment adventures this fall!

[dgdramadawg]

Originally Posted by EGAOPi

You can have everything in the world going for you, or so it may seem, but there are a lot of different factors that come into play. Competition is huge and the southern tradition of Greek Life is definitely one of those factors--there are typically many women that come through recruitment in the South, whether or not your school is in the Deep South...and these girls come in with massive amounts of recommendations and connections. Even for some of them, things don't always work out.

So true, EGAOPi!

However, if you are really interested in pledging and want to see all of the houses, fall recruitment is a good way to do that... and even at some of these very competitive recruitments, there are still houses who will pledge stellar sophomores. I would encourage you to get involved in activities where you might meet some Greeks... as a sophomore at a competitive school, it can be very helpful to already know some people (although this by no means is meant to suggest that it will guarantee you any special treatment, they will at least be able to remember your name).

Best of luck!

[KSUViolet06]

I'm sorry things didn't work out, definately give formal recruitment a try. You'll get a chance to see ALL the sororities. My best advice is to keep an open mind. Don't go into recruitment saying that you'll ONLY consider certain chapters and not others. Take an honest look at ALL the chapters. You never know which ones you might end up really liking.

As far as the rejection goes, keep everything in perspective. Not being Greek doesn't make you any less of a person, nor is it the end of the world.