Dilema

[schiller75]

These are all very good suggestions. And I do agree that fighting another fraternity is not the way to go. We almost got in a bit of a brawl with the KA's during an intramural soccer game last semester and I still feel the tension that it has caused. I like to think that we have a better head on our shoulders than one of a immature juvenile. I for one, being a former soldier know the true aspects of brotherhood and comradely and try to instill the lessons that I have learned in the combat zone to all of my brothers in the fraternity and throughout the Greek system in general. Fighting is not the way to go and more often leads to more serious problems. Stand by your brothers and lend the helping hand to all who seek it.

[Stef the Pef]

Originally Posted by RU OX Alum

Make a rule: no dating brothers. That is the same as no dating the dream girl, which is probably a good idea, having someone's girlfriend as dreamgirl causes nothing but drama. Trust me.

Ding ding ding. I love the fact that your fraternity is open to gay brothers, but where it gets sticky is the idea that brothers-dating-brothers could turn sour and cause some to leave because of dating drama. Make sure everyone knows that a fraternity is a commitment for life, and a commitment to the rest of the chapter and the rest of the membership as well. Don't get pressured into giving "boyfriend bids" if you feel the mister isn't a good fit for the chapter.

adpiucf's advice is dead-on. Consult the chapter leadership, the advisors, and try to avoid drama as much as possible with the bylaw thing. Also, I'd try talking to the gay members who've already become part of the chapter and make sure they're cool with a "no dating brothers" bylaw clause. Even though you're trying to avoid drama by going straight to the leadership, it might create drama when they see that someone in the chapter didn't consult them when making chapter decisions that relate to their lifestyle.

And like everyone else has said--I wouldn't worry that your house is becoming "the gay house" or not if you continue to put what's important to the fraternity first: initiating brothers who are a good fit for the house and striving for success in everything you do (be it intramurals, greek week, or whatever). Keep doing what you're doing and it looks like you'll be fine.

Good luck!

[Tom Earp]

What is the old saying, "Be A Bigger Person".

There is book that I received from a fellow Brother that you may want to order.

"Out On Fraternity Row".

It gives an idea of what you are talking about.

Many times Members will keep being gay a secret and are great Brothers.

Oh, I am not Gay, and when they come out, they are ostrocized and that is wrong!

The question is, are they an asset to your chapter. Are they helping your chapter.

Dating, well that i am not sure about.

[yeahfrat]

It's this kind of attitude that warrants the lack of respects for new fraternities. You can't just go around asking for respect. You have to take it by kicking a** and taking names. If youre really interested in making it into a top tier organization you can do one of two things:

1. Pay a bunch of face dudes to walk around and recruit other face dudes.

2. Walk into every bar on campus and just kick everyone's face in until they start showing you some respect. If you are not strong, consider employing some meat sticks at your local gym.

Hope this helps!

Mitch

[cheerfulgreek]

I wonder if they knew he was gay before he joined?