I do not like my chapter...

[DrPhil]

Everything about this reads NPC to me. It is relatively rare for NPHC, LGLO, and MCGLO chapters to participate in recruitment, use terms like "active," and have a house.

Also, she said "I have already been intiated and its been six months since seven if you include the new member term." That sounds like NPC, in addition to having gone through recruitment as an active in this time frame.

[tiana01]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Do you go over to the house just to hang out - no meetings or anything involved?

If you're with someone else and see a sister sitting in the student center/cafeteria/lobby of a class building, do you automatically go over and say hi to her and introduce your friend, or do you avoid her because you're with someone else? This also applies if you're by yourself.

why do you want to do this? Do you think your HS friends will be there?

Of course i go to meetings! I'm actually just came from one! And I have more later on in the day

Yes i automatically go over and introduce my friends and say hi!

I just want to be closer to my dad becuase he is a lot older 60's and trying to spend as much time with him becuase he is not in the greatest health condition.

How in the world does HS play into this? I just miss my dad.

Originally Posted by truebluekappa08

I totally understand what you're saying. This isn't your fault, and it isn't your chapter's. It seems like you have really made an effort so far, which is more than a lot of sisters do when they're feeling left out.

If you need to transfer for financial or personal reasons, then you should absolutely try to reaffiliate at your new school and try your best there. However, if you don't need to transfer just yet, i definitely agree with some of the advice on here.

Recruitment as an initiated sister is a totally new experience! it is one of the most memorable bonding experiences of my 4 years. Living in is also a great experience. i lived in the house my sophomore and junior years, and it felt totally different from my freshman year, it was great! Until you move in to the house, and start recruitment, just try and keep doing what you've been doing: making an effort, going to events, and getting to know your sisters. If after all that, it just doesn't work out, then maybe that chapter just isn't for you.

Thank you!!! Thats my plan!! I even have a lot of things today to do with my sisters and I am Living in next year!! So I think that if I keep putting the effort in it will pay off.

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I still say that your desire to transfer for financial and home sick reasons can create a tone of "someone PLEASE make me happy" and "I'm only here as long as I can be here" that other sisters may sense.

Also, note that there can be a difference between "I do not like my chapter" and "I'm not close to any of the members...yet." You've already decided that you do not like them. I definitely consider that both a self-fulfilling prophecy and bad mouthing your chapter.

I still dont see the bad mouthing thing. I never said they were horrible mean women in fact they are the exact opposite. I just said we are not clicking. Also from what I have been saying, i think, it has been clear that i mean "I'm not close to any of the members...yet.".

And really they dont know about the transferring thing at all it just something that i've been looking over for the future possibility. Like I stated above I am living in next year so.


[QUOTE=33girl;2041466]So in other words, you joined this group primarily because of its national reputation/values/mission/what have you, rather than because you felt a connection with the girls in your present school's chapter?QUOTE]

No in fact I never heard of my sorority before rush. Also I felt that if I participated more i would be closer. I have made progress which I am happy about.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by tiana01

Of course i go to meetings! I'm actually just came from one! And I have more later on in the day

Yes i automatically go over and introduce my friends and say hi!

I just want to be closer to my dad becuase he is a lot older 60's and trying to spend as much time with him becuase he is not in the greatest health condition.

How in the world does HS play into this? I just miss my dad.

Thank you!!! Thats my plan!! I even have a lot of things today to do with my sisters and I am Living in next year!! So I think that if I keep putting the effort in it will pay off.

I still dont see the bad mouthing thing. I never said they were horrible mean women in fact they are the exact opposite. I just said we are not clicking.

And really they dont know about the transferring thing at all it just something that i've been looking over for the future possibility. Like I stated above I am living in next year so.

Again, you know all of the answers already. What were you expecting people on Greekchat to tell you that you do not already know and have not already done?

Originally Posted by tiana01

Also from what I have been saying, i think, it has been clear that i mean "I'm not close to any of the members...yet."

Did you just learn the difference between "I do not like my chapter" (your thread title) and "I'm not close to any of the members...yet"?

Originally Posted by tiana01

No in fact I never heard of my sorority before rush. Also I felt that if I participated more i would be closer. I have made progress which I am happy about.

Translation: NPC

You have made progress since creating this thread and going to today's chapter meeting. Good. You basically just felt like venting in a thread but could've figured it out without Greekchat.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Everything about this reads NPC to me. It is relatively rare for NPHC, LGLO, and MCGLO chapters to participate in recruitment, use terms like "active," and have a house.

Also, she said "I have already been intiated and its been six months since seven if you include the new member term." That sounds like NPC, in addition to having gone through recruitment as an active in this time frame.

Her use of the term "associate" threw me a bit - I initially thought it was NPC too, but just wanted to clear it up for sure.

[tiana01]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

You have made progress since creating this thread and going to today's chapter meeting. Good. You basically just felt like venting in a thread but could've figured it out without Greekchat.

Not at all Ma'am my question was "what would you do?". Ma'am all I want to do is see what others would do if they put all this effort and they were still not close to anyone. If i knew all the answers then I wouldn't have come here. Ma'am to me it seems like instead of offering advice or sharing a story you are on the attack. Also no I have made progress from when I first started (new member term) to now it just i still have not found my niche. Each day that I talk to a sister I make progress.

S.N. Many have said that living in, random days, and recruitment have helped them bond. So I should just keep at it.

[Gusteau]

LOL @ "Ma'am"

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by tiana01

Not at all Ma'am my question was "what would you do?". Ma'am all I want to do is see what others would do if they put all this effort and they were still not close to anyone. If i knew all the answers then I wouldn't have come here. Ma'am to me it seems like instead of offering advice or sharing a story you are on the attack. Also no I have made progress from when I first started (new member term) to now it just i still have not found my niche. Each day that I talk to a sister I make progress.

S.N. Many have said that living in, random days, and recruitment have helped them bond. So I should just keep at it.

If this is an attack to you, your fragility is why you haven't found your niche and that's what I alluded to on the first page.

Originally Posted by Gusteau

LOL @ "Ma'am"

She should call me "ma'am."

[tiana01]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

If this is an attack to you, your fragility is why you haven't found your niche and that's what I alluded to on the first page.

Not at all Ma'am I don't know how else to word it. To me it seems like you are playing defense instead of offense. When talking to a few girls i have learned that that my personality and demenor are very intimidating. Nothing about me is fragile. I don't know from your first post it all seems so passive agressive for no apparrent reason. Like you jumped past the part of me actually trying to make connections with my sister to just saying im thinking of transferring and saying I was blaming the chapter.

I have gained some knowledge from the the post of others. Hopefully if a girl is having similiar trouble she can look to this thread and get the same value that I did.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by tiana01

When talking to a few girls i have learned that that my personality and demenor are very intimidating

Anyway, good luck to you.

[tiana01]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Anyway, good luck to you.

Why thank you very much Ma'am! Have a great week!!

[Gusteau]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

She should call me "ma'am."

Right. I just found her repetitive use of it to be humorous because it seemed like she was trying to be sassy.

[DrPhil]

LOL, I know Gusteau, but I ignored that.

I find this thread funny because she began with "whoa is me" but responded with "yeah, I'm doing that" to almost everything. She's homesick and doesn't know how to find her niche but she's also intimidating (which doesn't prevent fragility). Yet, she doesn't know why she can't find her niche. Good luck to her.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

LOL, I know Gusteau, but I ignored that.

I find this thread funny because she began with "whoa is me" but responded with "yeah, I'm doing that" to almost everything. She's homesick and doesn't know how to find her niche but she's also intimidating (which doesn't prevent fragility). Yet, she doesn't know why she can't find her niche. Good luck to her.

I don't even have anything to say to this thread, but the bolded made me giggle.

[steelerbear]

Originally Posted by tiana01

Your right! That's why I’m going to give it another year with me living in. Also your right about me transferring to the other school I could end up in the same situation I am in now. While I did not think transferring would mean insta-friends. My main reasons for transferring was to actual be in-state (fincial) and be able to go home for breaks (super homesick). I Really do appreciate your being honest with me. Thank you KSUViolet!!

I like that you want to give things another year, Tiana; it shows that you understand things can change depending on circumstances. You may also find that you're closer to the newer members who are younger than you are, which may help things out even more. On the other hand, things could stay about the same for you as they are now, or even get worse for you (and I certainly hope they don't).

When I was a collegian, I told my mother--a very active sorority sister of mine, as it happens--that I was having thoughts about relinquishing my membership because I didn't totally feel like I fit in. Oh, I did when I joined--I adored the seniors and juniors, especially. But once they graduated, I didn't have the close relationships a lot of the other girls did, and many of them (coincidentally some who served on Exec Board a time or two) seemed to dismiss everything I ever said or did. But my mom, ever the active alumna, told me that her best years in Phi Mu have been as an alumna, and so I should stick it out for my last two years. I did, and I'm extremely glad that I made that choice.

One last thing: remember that, if/when you transfer, you'll most likely have to petition the chapter of your sorority at your new school to be accepted into their chapter. From the sound of it, you may already have connections with the girls there, but it's never guaranteed that the entire chapter will want you to join them. It's just one more thing to think about.

Best of luck to you!