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Originally Posted by PrettyBoy
Yeah, I almost had to deal with this. Here’s the thing, man, weddings will bring out the best and worst in people. You’re creating a sacred moment, and some folks show up acting like it’s open mic night for their unsolicited opinions. In those situations, the challenge is protecting your peace without setting off a grenade at your own celebration.
I’d just say (in kind) you don’t want them there. Or if you’re me, be firm with conviction and just tell them they’re not invited. Period. But if you already invited them and it’s too late to change it, the best advice I can give is to not give them power. You know who they are. You know how they operate. So nothing they say or do should surprise you. That awareness gives you control, so they can’t ruin what you’ve already prepared yourself for.
Also, delegate. Have someone in your corner (best man, sibling, cousin you trust) keep an eye on them. Quietly. That way if they start crossing lines, it doesn’t fall on you to deal with it in the moment. You’re not there to manage personalities, you’re there to get married.
And if they say something slick, just smile, nod, and walk away. Not every jab deserves a reply. You win by not letting them pull you out of character on your big day. Be the version of yourself your spouse fell in love with, not the version some bitter relative tried to drag out.
Like I said, I almost had to deal with this myself with a cousin of mine. But I didn’t invite her. Didn’t even let it leak I was getting married in a way she’d find out. I already knew how she would act, so I cut that drama off at the root. Easiest call I made during wedding planning. Peace over petty, every time.
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Yeah family dynamics kind of forced my hand. Said family member is related (by marriage) to my mom's side of the family and since my mom's side of the family is much smaller than my dad's, my grandma (mom's mom) would have felt a type of way about that. The relative in question, while can be snarky, has had a long history of it and my mom's family are all aware of it. Thankfully she is sometimes inconsistent with her comments so I may just dodge my way through an awkward event.
They have been invited and confirmed the RSVP recently. I'm just hoping with all the planning and logistics, plus herding my in-laws from Japan I'll be too busy to hear or notice anything uncouth.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phrozen Sands
I agree with PB. Just don’t invite them. The hell with them.
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Like I said with PB, that die has been cast already.
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