Making the decision to depledge

[WhiteRose1912]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

And with initiation around the corner, fair warning: there WILL be a religious aspect to your initiation.

I don't think you've been through every sorority's initiation ceremony and I am amused that you would make this assumption.

I would think it safe to say that if all the other rituals had a religious component and it made you uncomfortable, OP, initiation probably will, too.

[33girl]

I don't get the impression that it's ritual that she's worried so much about, rather the day to day pervasiveness of evangelical-ish Christianity in her chapter. It's one thing to go to church on Sunday, it's another for someone to tell you that you need to repent because you called your professor a jagoff on Tuesday afternoon.

[scrapcat]

Originally Posted by Jill1228

Join the club. I'm recovering too

Funny but I've always called myself "NPC". Or non- practicing catholic! So when I read about the NPC here I just giggle....

[etadrisophila]

OP:

As you've indicated, consider your decision carefully. Don't let go of an opportunity that will provide a lifetime of connections, support and joy.

You can be part of the change you want to see.

Identify members of your pledge class and sisters with whom you share common interests outside of the religious talk that you've described. Make plans to spend time with these people - a trip to the coffee shop, going for a run, etc. Discuss non-religious topics; start a book club, something, anything!

Once you've made your difficult decision, should you choose to be initiated, come on back to GC and start posting with a new user name.

Sending lots of positive energy your way...

[adpiucf]

The truth is that you're not going to feel this "ZOMG bond of sisterhood" after just a few weeks. The bonds of sisterhood are felt after years of working together, volunteering together, planning events together, going to social functions together, and developing friendships. It is not overnight. If, overall, you enjoy the activities within the sorority and the general interactions you've experienced thus far, stick with it.

A sorority is a social organization: you get out of it what you put into it. You're not that far into it right now and by your own admission you would not rush again. So unless there's a financial constraint, why not continue on with initiation?

FWIW, I've never known someone who held herself over for initiation who stuck around. Talk to your new member coordinator, talk to your mom, and do some soul searching. If you're truly uncomfortable with how religious your fellow chapter sisters are, you probably are not a good fit for that particular chapter's culture and it is up to you to decide whether to stay and help recruit more diverse members or to leave and occupy your time with other people. You can certainly talk to the new member coordinator about how everyone being so religious is alienating you and the chapter can take steps to make you more comfortable, but they can't regulate the beliefs of individual members when you are in social settings with them, any more than they can regulate your beliefs. Good luck!

[shadokat]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I don't get the impression that it's ritual that she's worried so much about, rather the day to day pervasiveness of evangelical-ish Christianity in her chapter. It's one thing to go to church on Sunday, it's another for someone to tell you that you need to repent because you called your professor a jagoff on Tuesday afternoon.

Love the bit of humor in this serious thread! And who hadn't called their professor a jag off t one point or another?

[southernau]

I still think semester pledge-ships, as we used to call them back in the day,(so forgive if I don't know the correct nomenclature ) help with a lot of the indecisiveness during a pledge-ship, especially with a large pledge class. Just being a freshman away from home for the first time, for many, can be overwhelming by itself.

When did these shorter "pledge-ships" begin? I only became aware of it when my daughter pledged a few years ago. Her GLO still has a semester pledge-ship, which she was thankful for, but the majority on her campus did not.

[MTSUGURL]

Having been the religious sister in a small sorority that was almost all non-religious sisters that were very vocal in their belief of my stupidity for being a Christian, (not Omega Phi Alpha,) I can understand the discomfort you are feeling. I hope that these girls have not been judgmental in words or actions towards you. If you are a part of a large chapter, I would imagine that even if there is a religious element to your ritual or if there are girls that are holding Bible studies, there are others that are not attending these Bible studies, or are not religious at all. You seem to be thinking through this in a way that can only result in doing what is right for you, and I commend you for that. I hope that whatever decision you make that it will only make your collegiate experience wonderful.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by southernau

I still think semester pledge-ships, as we used to call them back in the day,(so forgive if I don't know the correct nomenclature ) help with a lot of the indecisiveness during a pledge-ship, especially with a large pledge class. Just being a freshman away from home for the first time, for many, can be overwhelming by itself.

When did these shorter "pledge-ships" begin? I only became aware of it when my daughter pledged a few years ago. Her GLO still has a semester pledge-ship, which she was thankful for, but the majority on her campus did not.

Early 90s. I was the first NM class for my chapter fall 93.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by southernau

I still think semester pledge-ships, as we used to call them back in the day,(so forgive if I don't know the correct nomenclature ) help with a lot of the indecisiveness during a pledge-ship, especially with a large pledge class. Just being a freshman away from home for the first time, for many, can be overwhelming by itself.

When did these shorter "pledge-ships" begin? I only became aware of it when my daughter pledged a few years ago. Her GLO still has a semester pledge-ship, which she was thankful for, but the majority on her campus did not.

Depends on the group but ~Early 90s. I was the first NM class for my chapter fall 93.

[Titchou]

I know in 1991 we still had the semester long program. But we were among the last to change.

[UnsurePledge]

Thanks so much to everyone for the thoughtful advice. I spoke to my pledge educator about my concerns and she was very understanding. She's going to find out if I can postpone initiation and try to introduce me to some more girls. My chapter is enormous, so there's a good number of girls that I haven't even met yet! I'm going to be spending a lot of time with my sisters this weekend, so hopefully my decision will become more clear. I'll let you all know what I choose to do.

[Just interested]

A piece of advice from a very old alumna. As someone said up thread, it takes working together for common goals that bonds are formed. I think even though I made friends among the new members, it wasn't until "rush" the following year and the excitement of Spirit Week and the teamwork it required to pull it all off that I finally "got it" and now almost 50 years later those bonds are stronger than ever. Why, because I stayed involved and continued to work for common goals as an alumna.

Like someone on gc said once in another thread and it is the best analogy I have ever heard. Are you "in it for the wedding or the marriage" Please give it some time.

[MTSUGURL]

Originally Posted by Just interested

A piece of advice from a very old alumna. As someone said up thread, it takes working together for common goals that bonds are formed. I think even though I made friends among the new members, it wasn't until "rush" the following year and the excitement of Spirit Week and the teamwork it required to pull it all off that I finally "got it" and now almost 50 years later those bonds are stronger than ever. Why, because I stayed involved and continued to work for common goals as an alumna.

Like someone on gc said once in another thread and it is the best analogy I have ever heard. Are you "in it for the wedding or the marriage" Please give it some time.

Your reply kind of makes me want to hug you.

[OPhiAGinger]

^^ I echo what my sister said. Hugs to Just_Interested.