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[Mevara]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek;

Nope, I've never been married, but for those single people, who have never been married, such as myself, the secret to taking advice is actually quite plain and simple. Take advice from someone who's been successful at accomplishing what you want to accomplish, and this isn't based only on relationships. It should apply to all aspects of your life. Since we're focused on relationships here, find someone who has a successful marriage or relationship and use that person as a source of sound counsel (I don't mean "use" as in take advantage of). I'm not going to sit around with a bunch of other women who are not having success with men and expect to come away with healthy words of wisdom. I just think the quickest way to end a depressing drama is to not let it begin. Seek counsel from experienced people in your lives.

Please do not give advice on marriage if you have not been there!! Take your own advice and leave it to the married folk to do that.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by Mevara

leave it to the married folk to do that.

I agree with you, which is why (if you are single) to take advice from someone with more experience than you have. Like I said before that applies to pretty much everything in life. At least I think it does. I just don't think people should jump right into something as serious as marriage without getting advice from someone who's in a healthy marriage.

eta: I said it in the post you just quoted.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I agree with you, which is why (if you are single) to take advice from someone with more experience than you have. Like I said before that applies to pretty much everything in life. At least I think it does. I just don't think people should jump right into something as serious as marriage without getting advice from someone who's in a healthy relationship/marriage.

Just be aware that there are plenty of people (including some at GC and including some who take the Bible quite seriously) who are in very healthy marriages who would not give you some of the advice you've tauted here. Doesn't make anyone right or wrong, just different, as in so many aspects of life.

Do what works for you, but never assume it's the way that works for everyone else.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Just be aware that there are plenty of people (including some at GC and including some who take the Bible quite seriously) who are in very healthy marriages who would not give you some of the advice you've tauted here. Doesn't make anyone right or wrong, just different, as in so many aspects of life.

Do what works for you, but never assume it's the way that works for everyone else.

I dunno, MC. I think it's important for careers or anything you've never had experience in to talk to successful people in that particular area, if you want to accomplish what they've accomplished.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I dunno, MC. I think it's important for careers or anything you've never had experience in to talk to successful people in that particular area, if you want to accomplish what they've accomplished.

I didn't say it isn't. What I said is don't expect to get the same advice from all those successful people, because people are different, and what works for someone might not work for someone else. There's not always one right answer, as evidence by the successfully married people in this thread who have disagreed with some of the advice you've talked about.

Gather all the opinions you want from all the successful people/couples you want, then make up your own mind about what bits of advice you've gotten might be helpful to you and what bits advice aren't so much.

[Mevara]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I agree with you, which is why (if you are single) to take advice from someone with more experience than you have. Like I said before that applies to pretty much everything in life. At least I think it does. I just don't think people should jump right into something as serious as marriage without getting advice from someone who's in a healthy marriage.

eta: I said it in the post you just quoted.

Yes but they are not the ones on here giving the advice... you are!

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I didn't say it isn't. What I said is don't expect to get the same advice from all those successful people, because people are different, and what works for someone might not work for someone else. There's not always one right answer, as evidence by the successfully married people in this thread who have disagreed with some of the advice you've talked about.

Gather all the opinions you want from all the successful people/couples you want, then make up your own mind about what bits of advice you've gotten might be helpful to you and what bits advice aren't so much.

<applause> Even what defines a "successful" marriage varies greatly. I see people who are VERY happy and think their marriages are successes, and they are, for them. I see fewer people who are in the kind of marriage that I would be happy in. Even when I get discouraged and think that everybody who is single at my age is just too damaged to have a successful relationship, I see a couple who gives me hope again...lol.