Joint account or separate account

[Cen1aur 1963]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I get my information on relationships from "dating books" (plural). Mainly from Corinthians, Genesis, and Proverbs. Probably not the "dating book" you were thinking. I don't just use the bible for dating purposes though. I like to use it for all aspects of my life. So far, it's been working for me.

I had and still have a pastor who teaches from the same principles you follow, but yet he was fucking around on his wife LOL. It was with this woman who sat in the very front, right in front of him. I guess she was wearing short skirts, crossing her legs etc. and what not. Basically, he was preaching the word of God with a rock hard dick, and then wasn't strong enough to turn away. He boned her, not once, but this had been going on for a long time, until he was caught hittin' it in his office late at night. Probably slappin' that ass with the bible saying "who's your daddy?" LOL

I feel everything you're saying, and you seem to be a cool person, and are probably a good girlfriend, but I'm just saying that just because you think you have the right person, be careful because that isn't always the case. A pastor to me teaching doctrine from the bible is no different than a professor teaching mathematics. Two human beings teaching shit that you can use to better yourself. Which is why I still stayed at the church because he's still kickin' knowledge. The fact that he's not or didn't practice what he's preaching has no affect on me.

Originally Posted by DrPhil

And these types of discussions continue to be tautological.

It works!
How do you know?
Because it worked for me!

LOL. True, but I think this is true in most of the threads I've read. It all comes down to what works for you in whatever. But folks tend to think whatever works for them should work for somebody else which isn't always the case.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by Cen1aur 1963

LOL. True, but I think this is true in most of the threads I've read. It all comes down to what works for you in whatever. But folks tend to think whatever works for them should work for somebody else which isn't always the case.

Yes, this is an opinion board.

There are things in life that are not so subjective. Those things don't make for exciting discussions of opinions.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by Cen1aur 1963

I had and still have a pastor who teaches from the same principles you follow, but yet he was fucking around on his wife LOL. It was with this woman who sat in the very front, right in front of him. I guess she was wearing short skirts, crossing her legs etc. and what not. Basically, he was preaching the word of God with a rock hard dick, and then wasn't strong enough to turn away. He boned her, not once, but this had been going on for a long time, until he was caught hittin' it in his office late at night. Probably slappin' that ass with the bible saying "who's your daddy?" LOL

We had...not one, but two pastors like this when I was growing up in MN. One of them got another woman pregnant. There is a greekchat member on here who's known me since I was about 8 or 9 years old (she doesn't post as much anymore). When I lived in the Twin Cities, she and I went to the same church, and we also had lunch together a few years back because I hadn't seen her since I was a kid.

She left the church along with a lot of members when she found out what happened. I was just a kid at the time, but apparently an altercation took place outside of the church after service one day between him, his wife and the other woman. I wasn't there when it happened but my dad was a deacon and my mom was an usher in the church at the time, so they knew all about it. I just remember them and my God parents talking about it. That was the first pastor. He left and started his own church and a lot of the younger members followed him. I was in high school when we got a new pastor. I thought he was cool. I used to fall asleep in church until he showed up, he was that good. Come to find out two years later while I was away at college, he cheated on his wife with another woman, and got her pregnant. They got rid of him. By that time, my parents had already gone to another church. I stopped going because I just didn't feel comfortable with some dude preaching what he isn't following himself. Man, it was drama during that time.

When I had lunch with LG (GC member) a few years back, although she doesn't go to that church anymore, she said there's still some mess going on there. But this was back in 2007. I'm not sure if that pastor is still there or not.

This is too funny. This mess happens all the time in the church. And that woman who was sitting in front at your church, I'll bet she wasn't just sitting there just to be doing it. She knew exactly what she was doing, I wasn't born yesterday. Dude liked what he saw, got weak, and look what happened. Yeah, he may be a pastor, but he's still a human being. He's got to resist temptation just like the next married man/woman. The church I go to now, our pastor is cool...so far LOL.

ETA: One more thing I forgot to mention. I remember the pastor who got the woman pregnant, he used to get on these crazy off topic sermons about how he's tired of watching married men in the church checking out the women as they walk down the aisle to give, and how a man should love his wife as he loves his own body LOL! Yet, this trifling dude was screwing around on his wife and had the mistress pregnant...dude please.

[DubaiSis]

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy

ETA: One more thing I forgot to mention. I remember the pastor who got the woman pregnant, he used to get on these crazy off topic sermons about how he's tired of watching married men in the church checking out the women as they walk down the isle to give, and how a man should love his wife as he loves his own body LOL! Yet, this trifling dude was screwing around on his wife and had the mistress pregnant...dude please.

How can you not go immediately to that when you hear someone (literally in your case) preaching so vehemently. After all the proof we've been given over and over again, any Congressman who is a public homophobe you KNOW is getting some in the cloak room. The best we can hope for is the man he's shtooping is a grown up. Proof once again that taking it down a notch is the way to go.

When people talk about marriages and what works, I think of a woman I know who has been married for 25 years. They fight like cats and dogs every single day. It's unbelievably uncomfortable to be around them for any extended period of time. Every little moment of less than pure bliss is an invitation to start screaming. 25 years. This is clearly the marriage they want or they'd have gotten out of that hell before they even got married - it was like this from day one. I would have bet $100 they'd never make it down the aisle. I believe they use a joint account and I highly doubt she has her own bank account. She trusts him completely, and as far as I can tell, she's safe to. But I'd have hanged myself years ago before putting up with that much negativity every day.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

How can you not go immediately to that when you hear someone (literally in your case) preaching so vehemently.

I think most people would. I'm not saying that he should be damned to hell because of it, though (like a lot of people were saying when it happened). I'd be a hypocrite if I said that. Not because I would cheat on my s/o (that's not me) but because we all are tempted by things we don't need, or shouldn't have. It could be spending habits, eating habits, laziness, etc. In his case it's women LOL. I only left the church not only because he wasn't practicing what he was preaching, but because I'm not comfortable around men who womanize. I don't agree with it, so I don't support it by going around it (knowing about it). I guess the only thing I could hope for with both pastors is that they get help, practice what they preach, and for the most part love and honor their wives. I think a man who honors his wife, that's pretty much the most important thing he can do, not only for himself, but for his children too. (if he has any)

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

When people talk about marriages and what works, I think of a woman I know who has been married for 25 years. They fight like cats and dogs every single day. It's unbelievably uncomfortable to be around them for any extended period of time. Every little moment of less than pure bliss is an invitation to start screaming. 25 years. This is clearly the marriage they want or they'd have gotten out of that hell before they even got married - it was like this from day one. I would have bet $100 they'd never make it down the aisle. I believe they use a joint account and I highly doubt she has her own bank account. She trusts him completely, and as far as I can tell, she's safe to. But I'd have hanged myself years ago before putting up with that much negativity every day.

I see your point, and I agree with you. I don't like being around negative people, either. I know a couple who hits each other and uses verbally abusive language toward each other. They've been married for over 13 years. They have a joint and two separate accounts based on what he told me. He used to be my roomie when I was in college, and they've been together since college. When we were roommates, they got into it once when I was in the room. I told them to leave because I didn't want to see it or hear it. I think the biggest reasons for divorce are money, sex, and communication. Technically communication covers both sex and money, really. So I think it's communication that causes the most problems in most marriages or courtships. There are several reason why couples stay together, I don't think some of it is healthy, but not all couples see marriage or courtship the same way I do. As long as people don't bring their negativity around me, I just let folks do their thing, while I do mine.