Paying for sex - is this more common than I thought?

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by SugarANDSpice

I think I prefer to deal with the ugly truth no matter how hard it was as opposed to live in a lie being played as a fool. Ive been thinking about this a lot lately and realized I'm one of those people that prefers to know the truth than to live clueless.

Although I admit sometimes the truth has knocked me off my feet many times. . . I always bounce back. I think I prefer it that way.

Sounds like you've done your own soul-searching and I applaud your efforts of reaching a resolution to your situation.

I caution you to also know that in serious relationships, those issues that only scratch will gnaw over time. While you could trust him implicitly, can you trust him around other "highly attractive" women? Do you know if he can "only have eyes for you"? The question for you is about YOUR TRUST! Not his, because he is confident when trusting you...

[SugarANDSpice]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Sounds like you've done your own soul-searching and I applaud your efforts of reaching a resolution to your situation.

I caution you to also know that in serious relationships, those issues that only scratch will gnaw over time. While you could trust him implicitly, can you trust him around other "highly attractive" women? Do you know if he can "only have eyes for you"? The question for you is about YOUR TRUST! Not his, because he is confident when trusting you...

See! There you go again! lol

Yes, you bring up very valid and real points. Only time will tell. It has only been 8 months. So far, he has not shown me any reason to distrust him in any way whatsoever, even around other "highly attractive" women. He "only has eyes for me" which is something I really like about him. One of the reasons I was so surprised by the story he shared with me is b/c he is not a person I would think would ever do what he did 15 years ago. But I realize that's me knowing him today, not me knowing him 15 years ago. Today, he is a very grounded, responsible person who has his priorities in order. It has only been 8 months and only time will tell if the person he is today is really who he is or if that person from 15 years ago still comes out from time to time.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by SugarANDSpice

See! There you go again! lol

Yes, you bring up very valid and real points. Only time will tell. It has only been 8 months. So far, he has not shown me any reason to distrust him in any way whatsoever, even around other "highly attractive" women. He "only has eyes for me" which is something I really like about him. One of the reasons I was so surprised by the story he shared with me is b/c he is not a person I would think would ever do what he did 15 years ago. But I realize that's me knowing him today, not me knowing him 15 years ago. Today, he is a very grounded, responsible person who has his priorities in order. It has only been 8 months and only time will tell if the person he is today is really who he is or if that person from 15 years ago still comes out from time to time.

Another issue I hadn't considered before: your man likes how he is around you. He told you these comments to see if it will freak you out. There could be more freaky things--but don't ask. Let it come out over time. The more comfortable he feels in sharing, the more he trusts you. Let him be the open book...

[SugarANDSpice]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

Another issue I hadn't considered before: your man likes how he is around you. He told you these comments to see if it will freak you out. There could be more freaky things--but don't ask. Let it come out over time. The more comfortable he feels in sharing, the more he trusts you. Let him be the open book...

Funny you should say that. One of the things he claims to love about being with me is that he can be himself and we can talk about anything. He obviously trusts me. I'm sure if I just sit back and listen, he will reveal himself to me in time. That's the case with everybody as long as we really LISTEN.