When "the one" doesn't think YOU are "the one"

DivineDiva47 · #1 02-26-2008, 05:18 PM

I have been in that place before where a man didn't think that I was the ONE. The fool ended up marrying someone else that CHEATED ON him and now they are divorced. Since its been many years he now says that he should have married me. But that door has been closed because I now know that God saved me from a man that didn't know who he was and surely not who he is in Christ.

Fast forward: Now that I have re-directed my life and the way that I see and expect a relationship to be I view them differently. Because I am a Christian I have a different outlook on the way relationships go. I believe that there is a man out there that was created just for me and that when God sees fit to join our lives that is when I will marry. We as women have to understand that we can't make a man our " Assignment" Proverbs 18:22 says: He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD so we have to let them find us and if he doesn't feel that I am the one then eventually he will leave me when he does. A friend once told me "when a man wants you NOTHING will keep him from you" so in my singleness I wait for the man that will give me that "Agape Love". I want to be loved "from my soul out" not from what "he sees in"...does that make sense (smile). I figure if God can part the Red Sea he can lead this "missing rib" to the body I am fashioned from.

For those who may not know what Agape is:

Agape is pronounced "ah-GAH'-pay". It is a Greek word. Found first in the biblical New Testament, agape expresses the spiritual, not physical, love of God for his people. It is an unconditional love and concern for others. Agape is a love that accepts everyone for who they are. This is the same love that God expressed for us through the death of Jesus Christ, His Son (1 John 4:9,10). It is a selfless love.

AKA_Monet · #2 02-27-2008, 03:15 AM

I forgot to add:

A horse doesn't miss his water until his well runs dry... And you can lead a horse to water but you cain't make him drink...

I just saw a "Happy Bunny" comment, but I am unable to find it now.

PrettyInPink777 · #3 03-03-2008, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DivineDiva47

I have been in that place before where a man didn't think that I was the ONE. The fool ended up marrying someone else that CHEATED ON him and now they are divorced. Since its been many years he now says that he should have married me. But that door has been closed because I now know that God saved me from a man that didn't know who he was and surely not who he is in Christ.

Fast forward: Now that I have re-directed my life and the way that I see and expect a relationship to be I view them differently. Because I am a Christian I have a different outlook on the way relationships go. I believe that there is a man out there that was created just for me and that when God sees fit to join our lives that is when I will marry. We as women have to understand that we can't make a man our " Assignment" Proverbs 18:22 says: He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD so we have to let them find us and if he doesn't feel that I am the one then eventually he will leave me when he does. A friend once told me "when a man wants you NOTHING will keep him from you" so in my singleness I wait for the man that will give me that "Agape Love". I want to be loved "from my soul out" not from what "he sees in"...does that make sense (smile). I figure if God can part the Red Sea he can lead this "missing rib" to the body I am fashioned from.

For those who may not know what Agape is:

Agape is pronounced "ah-GAH'-pay". It is a Greek word. Found first in the biblical New Testament, agape expresses the spiritual, not physical, love of God for his people. It is an unconditional love and concern for others. Agape is a love that accepts everyone for who they are. This is the same love that God expressed for us through the death of Jesus Christ, His Son (1 John 4:9,10). It is a selfless love.

Girl, you'd better go ahead and Preach! This is really Ridiculously timely for me right now ... Thanks - I needed that

DivineDiva47 · #4 03-04-2008, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyInPink777

Girl, you'd better go ahead and Preach! This is really Ridiculously timely for me right now ... Thanks - I needed that

Smile...anytime Sistergreek!

IlovemyAKA · #5 03-08-2008, 03:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DivineDiva47

I have been in that place before where a man didn't think that I was the ONE. The fool ended up marrying someone else that CHEATED ON him and now they are divorced. Since its been many years he now says that he should have married me. But that door has been closed because I now know that God saved me from a man that didn't know who he was and surely not who he is in Christ.

Fast forward: Now that I have re-directed my life and the way that I see and expect a relationship to be I view them differently. Because I am a Christian I have a different outlook on the way relationships go. I believe that there is a man out there that was created just for me and that when God sees fit to join our lives that is when I will marry. We as women have to understand that we can't make a man our " Assignment" Proverbs 18:22 says: He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD so we have to let them find us and if he doesn't feel that I am the one then eventually he will leave me when he does. A friend once told me "when a man wants you NOTHING will keep him from you" so in my singleness I wait for the man that will give me that "Agape Love". I want to be loved "from my soul out" not from what "he sees in"...does that make sense (smile). I figure if God can part the Red Sea he can lead this "missing rib" to the body I am fashioned from.

For those who may not know what Agape is:

Agape is pronounced "ah-GAH'-pay". It is a Greek word. Found first in the biblical New Testament, agape expresses the spiritual, not physical, love of God for his people. It is an unconditional love and concern for others. Agape is a love that accepts everyone for who they are. This is the same love that God expressed for us through the death of Jesus Christ, His Son (1 John 4:9,10). It is a selfless love.

I needed it as well. I had a flashback from a sermon when you mentioned that "Agape Love". I knew exactly what you meant before I got to the definition. It's time for me to find peace in my "right now" and further strengthen my relationship with Him while patiently praying for that type of intimacy here on earth.

PrettyBoy · #6 03-19-2008, 09:10 PM

This used to happen to me, but that was when I had no boundaries. I was always faithful and honest with these women, but since I had no boundaries, I would just let them into my life without really seeing the real person inside. I would find myself in relationships with women I wasn't compatible with. Now I have boundaries, because to me boundaries serve two major functions. First they define me as a man, and they show what I am and what I am not, what I agree with and what I disagree with, what I like and what I dislike. The 2nd function of boundaries is that they protect me, because they keep good things in and bad things out. In a relationship, when we don't have clear limits, we can expose ourselves to unhealthy and destructive influences and people.

When we have well developed boundaries, spiritually we're more drawn to healthy growing people who want long term relationships, and are willing to work to stay together. We're clear about what we'll tolerate and what we like. I do think it's wrong to be with someone for a long time and then just call it quits for no reason except for "You're not the one." To me, jokers like this more than likely want to have their cake and eat it too, or they're just plain tired of the person they're with. I think when our boundaries are unclear we run the risk of allowing jokers inside our lives who shouldn't be there in the first place.