living together before marriage: opinions?

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by ThetaDancer

Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but isn't that the polite thing to do? If you're not living with your significant other, then when they visit, you're having company over. Maybe it's just me, but I clean up for everyone...my friends, significant other, parents, etc., and I hardly think thats a sign of "obvious problems with the relationship."

Originally Posted by 33girl

There's a difference between having the place looking presentable, and having it so clean you could eat off the floor. I mean, I don't think a cup and saucer in the sink or an unmade bed is something you should feel you need to "hide" from a longtime boyfriend/girlfriend. Some people are neater than others, but if it's at the point where you're saying you don't want him to come over because the house isn't perfect, THAT means you have relationship problems.

I think you both got what I mean. I'm not suggesting you make no effort to keep the place tidy, I'm just saying that if you are afraid to have your serious boyfriend over because the place isn't tidy, yes, I think there's a problem there (assuming the place isn't scary). Some of you may have time to stay at home and clean a lot, and if you plan on being a stay-at-home wife/mom, maybe you won't ever have to have a messy house, but a significant other should be able to see your messy apartment every once in a while without judging you for it. Realistically, my place is probably never going to be spic-n-span every day, so I'd rather he see that when we're dating than hide it until we're married.

My place is always clean, but I have days where I don't have time to pick my shoes up off the floor or to fold the laundry. And I just can't imagine freaking out about that to the point where I'd tell my boyfriend he can't come over or shoving it all in a closet. That just wouldn't be me, and frankly, my boyfriend comes over so much that it's not exactly a special occasion the way it is when my married friends and family come over. He's the same way with his place.