Too fat to recruit: or, DePauw, the Sequel

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Sorry to break it to you, but RUSH is shallow. If it wasn't, we could wear whatever we wanted, not wash our hair or put on makeup, and have rush parties in abandoned warehouses and still get the same turnout.

That being said, I stand by my previous statements on this issue.

You don't want to get involved in that fight.

That said, I know recruitment is shallow. It's based off of really quick impresions and connections with girls. The assumption that a heavy girl will turn off PNMs is offensive. And this girl is your sister. Are you going to take those "shallow" PNMS and pretend like the heavy girl isn't your sister until initiation? After? Any girl who would go "ugh she's heavy I don't want to be a sister with any of the girls in this room because she's heavy" should NOT be given a bid.

[fantASTic]

33girl + Drolefille:

I agree. I believe I stated this earlier in the thread; it IS wrong to discriminate against somebody based on their physical appearance, especially over something like this.

[UGAalum94]

I don't think that members in good standing should be asked to stay away from recruitment for any reasons. I don't think any members should be assigned a recruitment duty that she doesn't want for a disproportionate amount the other time, either.

We all have strengths and weaknesses, and we should all help figure out where we think we can best serve our organizations, but also be open to doing something else as long as the way duties are assigned is in keeping with the overall values of the organization.

At my chapter, I don't remember any actives not rushing unless they were in a goofy costume for a skit, so I don't remember any nonsense like this.

BUT some of you posting may have no idea what a big Southern recruitment is like. The way we want things to be and the way things actually are often not the same, and chapters feel pressured to do something wrong in terms of sisterhood to ensure that they get a particular outcome all along the return rate spectrum.

Carnation didn't want that organization to go under, I bet, and you misread her if you think it was her point. She was just aware that recruitment can be a game of superficial impressions, and if you don't play along, your group may not be around much longer to enjoy your authentic sisterhood.

ETA: I saw my friend who wasn't Greek who has a Greek daughter today. She takes all the directions about who can wear what and what's allowed and required at recruitment to be generally a reflection of the values of sororities. It breaks my heart what she thinks we're all about, but I also know that most groups that didn't spend time on image for recruitment are going to have a hard time attracting enough new members to fill a new member class. I wish there were a way to get away from it but not having decorations and skits isn't going to do it.

[Leslie Anne]

I think it's horrible to hide any sister from Recruitment regardless of their shortcomings. I've always felt, and perhaps I'm wrong, that one of the purposes of being a member of a sorority is to learn to be your personal best. If a sister lacks conversational skills, study skills, personal grooming, then help her to improve. Don't pretend she doesn't exist!

The only time I can truly understand the big push for numbers in a chapter is when they need the income to support the maintenance of the house. Otherwise, I think it's ridiculous. Fraternities manage to stay afloat without large numbers. Why can't sororities?

I can't help but think how far we've come from the original purposes that our founders had in mind. Do any of the 26 NPCs mention appearance in their Purpose or Creed? I don't think so. Our founders' had loftier ideals. I wish we could find some way to make Recruitment less shallow. I'd imagine that our founders would roll over in their graves if they knew that a sister was hidden because she was fat. For shame!

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

I think it's horrible to hide any sister from Recruitment regardless of their shortcomings. I've always felt, and perhaps I'm wrong, that one of the purposes of being a member of a sorority is to learn to be your personal best. If a sister lacks conversational skills, study skills, personal grooming, then help her to improve. Don't pretend she doesn't exist!

The only time I can truly understand the big push for numbers in a chapter is when they need the income to support the maintenance of the house. Otherwise, I think it's ridiculous. Fraternities manage to stay afloat without large numbers. Why can't sororities?

I can't help but think how far we've come from the original purposes that our founders had in mind. Do any of the 26 NPCs mention appearance in their Purpose or Creed? I don't think so. Our founders' had loftier ideals. I wish we could find some way to make Recruitment less shallow. I'd imagine that our founders would roll over in their graves if they knew that a sister was hidden because she was fat. For shame!

I hear what you are saying, but many groups have policies that instruct (and pressure) chapters to recruit to quota and chapter total. It's not what the founders had in mind, but it seems to be where we are today.

I too wonder if having women's groups be more like the IFC might not be more empowering to genuine sisterhood, but NPC recruitment IS different and creates different expectations for the chapters. A NPC chapter doesn't usually have the option to play by its own rules and be viable.

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by AlphaGamUGAAlum

I hear what you are saying, but many groups have policies that instruct (and pressure) chapters to recruit to quota and chapter total. It's not what the founders had in mind, but it seems to be where we are today.

I too wonder if having women's groups be more like the IFC might not be more empowering to genuine sisterhood, but NPC recruitment IS different and creates different expectations for the chapters. A NPC chapter doesn't usually have the option to play by its own rules and be viable.

Oh, I completely agree. We have to deal with things the way they are now. It just makes me sad...and a bit angry.

[kathykd2005]

Originally Posted by Leslie Anne

Oh, I completely agree. We have to deal with things the way they are now. It just makes me sad...and a bit angry.

Me, too!

[frattypalmtree]

lol this thread makes me laugh

i wouldnt want fatties either. whats hard to understand about that? lol but thats just my opinion.. dont get offended or nothin..

[PeppyGPhiB]

Originally Posted by frattypalmtree

lol this thread makes me laugh

i wouldnt want fatties either. whats hard to understand about that? lol but thats just my opinion.. dont get offended or nothin..

Oh give me a break. Most fraternities seem to have their fair share of guys with guts.

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

I wish we could all move to Ritual Based recruitment. If I'd gone through Recruitment at one of those competitive large schools (and assuming I wouldn't get dropped, since I am not below 100 pounds, own nothing designer, and have no social connections to speak of) I think I would assume that it IS all about being skinny and blonde...and wouldn't have wanted to pledge anyway. If it's NOT about all that then WHY is ritual based recruitment not used? If it's REALLY about being sisters, REALLY about contributing to the community, REALLY about scholarship and founders' ideals, then why is Recruitment all about brand labels, looks, and being shallow in general?

[JonInKC]

"She ain't heavyyyyyyy....she's my sis-terrrrr.....her wel-fare is myyyyy con-cern....."

[Tom Earp]

True True!

Not everyone is a Lindsy or Paris, thank goodness!

[Soliloquy]

It's things like this, that makes myself and MANY other women leary about joining a sorority.

I know my convictions to join will hold true, I could really care less if I feel a connection with the "fat sorority" or the "slutty sorority" etc. If I feel like these are women I want to spend a lot of time with during my collegiate years, you are darn tootin' I will accept a bid from them.

How many wonderful, smart, talented etc. women have refused sorority (or weren't given the opportunity) life because of stereotypical behaviors like this? I would be absolutely disgusted if my GLO acted in this fashion. Granted, I am not in one (yet), I would just hope that my (future) sisters do not act this way.

Isn't part of being in a sorority demonstrating class, morals, scholarly talents, and a dedication to the community? How is forcing someone to abstain from recruitment due to their weight, or even overlooking a PNM due to her weight- despite her incredible resume, acting classy? How is it classy to say that you don't want to ruin your sorority's image by allowing a heavy girl in? Do you really have morals if you are acting this way?

um... no.

[kathykd2005]

Yes, yes, and YES to everything you said. I'm glad to see such a mature point of view from a PNM. Kudos!

Originally Posted by Soliloquy

It's things like this, that makes myself and MANY other women leary about joining a sorority.

I know my convictions to join will hold true, I could really care less if I feel a connection with the "fat sorority" or the "slutty sorority" etc. If I feel like these are women I want to spend a lot of time with during my collegiate years, you are darn tootin' I will accept a bid from them.

How many wonderful, smart, talented etc. women have refused sorority (or weren't given the opportunity) life because of stereotypical behaviors like this? I would be absolutely disgusted if my GLO acted in this fashion. Granted, I am not in one (yet), I would just hope that my (future) sisters do not act this way.

Isn't part of being in a sorority demonstrating class, morals, scholarly talents, and a dedication to the community? How is forcing someone to abstain from recruitment due to their weight, or even overlooking a PNM due to her weight- despite her incredible resume, acting classy? How is it classy to say that you don't want to ruin your sorority's image by allowing a heavy girl in? Do you really have morals if you are acting this way?

um... no.

[Soliloquy]

Originally Posted by kathykd2005

Yes, yes, and YES to everything you said. I'm glad to see such a mature point of view from a PNM. Kudos!

Thank you! I pride myself on my maturity

But really, I think I am just speaking the truth. I hope that there are more people who will share similar views as I do when I go through recruitment (in just two more months!!!).