Would you pledge a sorority known for dirty rushing?

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Originally Posted by Titchou

Quit being so literal.

In this time, I'd like to refer to some advice you gave me: Don't ever assume things. I kindly ask that you refrain from assuming things about this party that I went to, because I highly doubt that you were there. As this party was as of yet my only person experience with "dirty rushing" I think it would be best if I explained it fully.

About two weeks before graduation, I received in the mail an invitation to a "Congratulations you graduated!" party hosted by an alum whom I had never met before. I was kind of expecting such an invitation because back in April when a lot of actives were back in town for Easter, I let them know that I was going to go through recruitment in the Fall. My neighbor (she is in the house in question) told me "oh great, well, alums will probably have parties this Summer. I'll make sure that you get introduced!" Plus, all the seniors in my HS know about these, so use were kind of expecting them. My mother and any sisters we may have (I don't) were also invited.

Day of, my mother and I arrived, and it was immediately apparent that the other guests were graduated seniors, their mothers and sisters, and other actives and alums of this sorority. I knew almost all of the other seniors because we all had decided to rush. I knew some of the actives, but certainly not a majority. The hostess and others there congratulated us on graduating, and then we started the meal. Yes, it was a full 4 course meal with hors d'oeuvres, not just "refreshments." Conversation wasn't full on "you should join XYZ because we have the highest GPA, our girls are the classiest, etc. etc." It was more subtle than that. For example, someone would ask what our summer plans were, and an active would chime in with how she and her sisters went on a trip to Europe last year, and wasn't it so nice to be able to meet XYZ alums in a country so far away? A senior would be asked her major and then someone would say "why, Sally is an accounting major too!" And then Sally would share her story of how she would study with her equally studious sisters and how they guided her through interviews for her internship. Additionally, if a senior said something like "do you get along well with ABC? They're very academically focused too" then the bad mouthing would start. But of course, bad mouthing in a very Southern passive-aggressive way.

Besides the pref card comment by the alum, actives would say things like "we hope to see all of you on our lawn on Bid Day," more God/Jesus-y things, "I've watched you since you were a sophomore and I know you'll be an excellent sister." At the worst, what was said was oral bidding and illegal, and at the best, it was highly highly misleading (especially given the exclusive setting).

I'm truly trying to go through with an open mind during rush. I think I've done a good job keeping an independent mind over the years, and I know my mom won't pressure me into anything (she never rushed, so the whole sorority thing really baffles her).