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I've never heard the term "squick" but I think it describes the emotion you're describing exactly! Welcome to the South, where talk of God is never forbidden.
After reading some of your replies, I have come to realize that if I love a house and a group of girls so intensely, I should learn to accept the bad along with the good. Reading recruitment stories and listening to my older friends talk, I think many many girls do truly fall in love on pref night. Love (in my very young heart) shouldn't be about choosing the option with the least wrongs but instead, choosing the option with the most rights. I've always tried to do the right and ethical thing, so this dilemma hurts me a bit.
I think for the rest of the Summer, I'll continue attending the parties and socializing with actives, because I certainly don't want to alienate anyone before recruitment has even begun! I'll hear what the other sororities have to say and try to bond with the actives there. And at the end of pref night, if I'm still lucky enough to have a choice, I'll ask myself "can you be happier at any other sorority?" and if I can't, then I'd put them first, and if I can, then my decision would have been made.
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