Making the decision to depledge

[UnsurePledge]

Hey everyone. I've been lurking on GreekChat for months (thanks for all the recruitment advice!) but I'm a first time poster. I know GreekChat is full of amazing women who love their sorority, so I'm hoping some of you can give me advice. I recently pledged a sorority at a big Southern school. I never thought I'd join a sorority, but I ended up going through rush and accepting a bid from my legacy house. I've been a part of my sorority for over a month now, and it's definitely been a mixed bag- some parts I like and some parts I do not. Initiation is coming up and I'm considering depledging for a few reasons.

I don't feel like I fit in with my chapter- I have different morals, values, and religious beliefs than the majority of the girls. I've met some really nice people and have found a group of friends, but I don't feel like I "click" with them. Nearly every girl in my chapter is Christian and I am not. It seems like religion is very important in our chapter. I am very uncomfortable with all of this. I have no objections to Christianity, but I'm not familiar with it at all and I feel like an outsider.

I'm also uncomfortable with all of the rules. Some of them are understandable, but I think a lot of them are a bit ridiculous. I'm constantly paranoid that I'm going to unknowingly do something wrong and get in trouble or kicked out. It's really taken a toll on me. I never wear my letters around campus because I'm scared that I will do something to make my sorority look bad.

Can anyone give me advice? I know many of you are alums and can see the bigger picture. I take the lifetime commitment very seriously, and I don't want to be initiated into an organization that I'm not 100% passionate about. I feel like it's unfair to both myself and the sorority. I wish I could postpone initiation so I could think about it a little more.