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Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby
I think it's this: you can't really know who you are, as a real life, out-in-the-world adult until you are out in the world as an adult. The amount that people change in their mid-late twenties is substantial for most college grads. So, if you get married before that, you might get lucky, and change in ways that are compatible with how your partner is changing, and you can grow together and be terrifically happy.
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So you change together and steer the relationship in a compatible direction. Relationships (long term ones anyway) take a lot of work and compromise, and if you disagree with that, I don't care how old you are, unless you marry someone who has zero ambition or goals for himself, then you're never going to find anyone to make you happy.
Yeah, you go through changes from 22-30 and trust me, after 30, you don't just suddenly arrive at a "this is me and always will be me" stage. You're always changing and the sooner you figure that out [and I mean you in the generic sense, not as in DBB], the sooner you'll be able to have a successful long term relationship.
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But you might not get lucky, and you might find that your version of self-actualization doesn't fit with theirs, and you aren't happy together, and so on. And if that happens, of course you are going to look back and think "I never should have done that, I didn't know shit at 22".
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Well hell, that's as likely to happen in the 22-30 bracket as afterwards. Most of my divorce clients don't file until at least after they've had kids, which you must admit is a pretty big change which mostly doesn't happen until someone is 30+, so are you from the camp which believes you should also wait until you have kids to get married? And if so, what exactly is it about marriage which would make it still relevant?
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