What teachers really want to tell parents.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Teacher - adult
student - child

Teachers can be wrong, but the odds of you being called in for something a teacher isn't 100% sure about are pretty slim - parental meetings are a major pain, requiring paperwork, dealing with the administration, not to mention the stress. 99% of teachers aren't going to go through the hassle if it isn't a serious problem, and if they don't know what they saw. You as a parent should have already talked to your child about the incident/behavior before you go into the meeting. If you were meeting with me, your child would not be at the meeting. Parents need to partner with teachers, not regard them as the enemy.

The problem isn't parents who listen to their children and come in willing to hear the teacher; the problem is the parents who will not even entertain the idea that their little snowflake could do anything wrong. The problem is parents who come in openly hostile. You think our pretty princess entitled pnms come out of nowhere? Those apples aren't falling far from the trees.

Exactly! And we've all come across these parents.. the ones who won't say a word while their kids climb all over the seats at restaurants or kick the seats on an airplane (I believe there's an entire thread somewhere talking about this exact thing), the ones who wouldn't discipline their kids even if their lives depended on it, and the ones who view everyone who tells their kids to behave as being in the wrong.

This article doesn't say that all parents are crazy and ridiculous.. only that there are a large number of them who don't understand that teachers have to deal with their kids for most of the day.

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

I would also add - if you are not sure about the details, ASK. Also, it's nice if the parent will acknowledge the behavior is wrong. Parent - "Throwing things and not obeying the teacher is unacceptable. Is there any particular time when he throws things, or is he throwing them at someone?" - Teacher - "He does it towards the end of class and he throws them at Billy." Parent - "I will speak to him and make sure he understands he is not to throw anything. He did tell me he finishes his projects early - maybe if he can be given some clean-up duties to help you, or an extra project that will keep him busy. Can you move him so he will not be sitting near Billy?"

THIS!!!!!

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Ex: A friend of mine's daughter who had a teacher who labeled her as having autism and needing to be placed in the classroom with children with intensive special needs. It raised an eyebrow with her as the only delays the child had were speech related. She consulted some other specialists who tested her and determined that it was a hearing issue causing her not to speak. Not autism as the teacher strongly suggested.

So I agree that it's normal and healthy to seek out multiple opinions.

Medical diagnoses are a completely different thing. This definitely deserves a second (and possibly third) opinion.

And in response to a part of the article:

And parents, you know, it's OK for your child to get in trouble sometimes. It builds character and teaches life lessons. As teachers, we are vexed by those parents who stand in the way of those lessons; we call them helicopter parents because they want to swoop in and save their child every time something goes wrong. If we give a child a 79 on a project, then that is what the child deserves. Don't set up a time to meet with me to negotiate extra credit for an 80. It's a 79, regardless of whether you think it should be a B+.
This one may be hard to accept, but you shouldn't assume that because your child makes straight A's that he/she is getting a good education. The truth is, a lot of times it's the bad teachers who give the easiest grades, because they know by giving good grades everyone will leave them alone. Parents will say, "My child has a great teacher! He made all A's this year!"
Wow. Come on now. In all honesty, it's usually the best teachers who are giving the lowest grades, because they are raising expectations. Yet, when your children receive low scores you want to complain and head to the principal's office.
Please, take a step back and get a good look at the landscape. Before you challenge those low grades you feel the teacher has "given" your child, you might need to realize your child "earned" those grades and that the teacher you are complaining about is actually the one that is providing the best education.

I'm not saying that all teachers who give high grades are bad teachers, or the ones who give low grades are great teachers, but...

The best teacher I had was my 5th grade teacher. While many of my fellow 5th-graders were excited because they had the "easy" teacher, the rest of us struggled (and I use that term loosely now) through the year. Looking back, however, even just a year or two after that, I realized that there's a reason to be a bit harder on students. Thinking that every student is a precious snowflake, and should be handed every little thing in life, in many situations, sets them up for disaster.