Inviting a +1 to a wedding

[TSteven]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Technically, as Shellfish notes, an RSVP card isn't required even if an RSVP is expected. For that matter, the phrase "RSVP" isn't required. It was added as a reminder to those who apparently didn't know that one should always RSVP. And the cards were put in to make it easier for people to remember to RSVP and actually do it.

That said, let me tell you about the small Southern town of my youth. This was the normal practice when I was growing up: Unless the wedding was truly going to be private (family and maybe close friends), it was understood that everyone in town was invited. Literally. Invitations were only sent to out-of-town guests and family/close friends in town (because, of course, they'd want to see it). A few weeks before the wedding, a copy of the invitation would appear (1) in the church bulletin of the bride's church (and the groom's if he was from town), and (2) in the town newspaper. No, I'm not making this up. Depending on the time of year, the Wednesday paper could have two or three invitations in it.

This system actually worked quite well. Because this was how things had always been done, one could predict how many would really attend fairly well. Many if not most people would RSVP informally, like if they ran into the bride's mother at the grocery store and said "We're so looking forward to the wedding." And sometimes, when friends of the bride's mom would ask "what can I do to help," the answer was "Call A-C in the phone book." What this meant was calling "everyone" (all involved knew who to call) to say "So-and-so asked me to call to say she's hoping you'll be at the wedding next Saturday." This gave a good general count as well.

It has to be remembered that sit-down-meal receptions were unheard of. (I think I was in my late 20s or early 30s before I ever went to a reception where there was a true meal, and in that case, the bride's family was from "away.") The typical reception was held in the church hall, at the country club or maybe another similar venue, or at the bride's home. The food was all finger food, though it could be substantial finger food. No alcohol if the reception was at a church (unless it was the Episcopal church).

And don't even get me started on the newspaper write-ups. They could cover half a page.

My small Southern home town was the same. I will add that the announcement in the paper often included a line saying "Only out of town invitations will be sent."

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Did I mention that it was also common for the bride's family to display all the wedding gifts? (Well, except for china, silver and crystal -- for that, a single, full place setting would be laid.) Friends would call on the bride's family for the express purpose of ooohing and ahhhhing over the gifts.

If I didn't know better, I would say we were from the same town.