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My MIL threatened to kill me when my husband I told her she was not allowed to invite her additional 60 guests to our small wedding. She was serious, but she also suffers from a mental health disorder that she has battled all of her life. Couple her mental health issues with occasional self medicating alcohol abuse a husband who basically ignores her or makes excuses for her, and you have a ticking time bomb. The entire family knows this and there have various funny, sad, and scary stories. Needless to say, I'm glad I live more than 1000 miles away and we only see her once or twice a year. My husband doesn't really consider his parents "parents" because he was shipped off to boarding school at a very young age and when he would be on break he spent the majority of the time at his aunt and uncles, whom he considers his real parents. He is the son that they never had and we have a great relationship with them.
Recently, the time bomb has been poked at and now I'm holding my breath for the blow up. I'm currently pregnant and my family is trying to plan my shower. My mom (who knows some of the stories and had to basically tell my MIL and my FIL to get their shit together or leave our wedding) called my MIL to tell her the date of my baby shower because it was the polite thing to do and because my MIL would need to make travel arrangements if she intended to come (My MIL left in the middle of my bridal shower because "people were being mean to her"...really, she just sat at the bar and drank the time she was there and didn't talk to anyone, but thats a whole other story). Well the date my mom and my aunt had chosen for my baby shower doesn't work for her - mainly because she doesn't want to pay to travel. She will be here in July for a wedding and would like the shower to be that weekend. Here are the reasons that it can't be that weekend:
1. I am not going to be here the day she wants to have it. Plans can not be changed. My best friend will be with me that day as well.
2. The wedding she is attending is a family wedding and the people who are in/a part of the wedding would be invited to the shower and they would not be able to attend the shower. I have a better relationship with the people that are in/a part of the wedding than I do with my MIL.
3. It's 3 weeks away. I'm sure many people will not be able to travel on such short notice.
4. I'm due in November and July is a little early to have a baby shower for a November baby.
MIL is on the verge of a blow up because she was told "no". Apparently she was fine with my mom on the phone, but called my husband and FREAKED out about it. He told her it wasn't about her and hung up. I am waiting for the insanity to ensue. I have told everyone that if she doesn't like when the shower is she can opt not to come and she can even opt not to come when the baby is born. I don't care and my job is just to make sure that I have a healthy baby. But her behavior still bothers me.
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