In-law venting thread

ellebud · #1 07-26-2011, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

Okay, I got one. I just learned this yesterday afternoon while randomly going through Facebook. Now, I will preface this by saying that I know Facebook is kinda stupid, but my SIL has apparently de-friended me within the past month or so.

What pisses me off is that she is an adult. She was in my wedding (more as a favor to my husband and his brother than anything). Whenever we DO see each other (always in their hometown, because GOD FORBID she and her husband drive the 2 hours to come see us, which they have never done), we hang out a bit while my husband and his brother hang out. She has my husband's parents wrapped around her little finger because she is a high-school dropout who refuses to get a job even though they always struggle with finances (allowing her to spend all of her time at my in-laws' house) that has given them their only grandchild and lives 3 miles away from them, and so she is over all of the time and is basically BFFs with my husband's mother. They can talk shit about me, I don't care.

I don't need to be her friend, that's fine. But what I do expect is for her to be a fucking ADULT and at least tell me why she is angered or offended by me. After all, it's not like we can just completely cut off contact. Of course I will see her at some point. My husband refuses to say anything to his brother, because he never takes my side in anything dealing with his family (and since she has been married ever since she was SIXTEEN to my BIL, she has been his "family" for about 10 years). I really want to send her a message, but I'm afraid that anything I say will just fan the flames. Any advice????

Since I have such a wonderful mil, would it surprise you that I also have a fabulous sil as well? Trust me, you do not want to know what convoluted reasoning she has for her behavior. It won't change.

We didn't go into their house for 28 years. We didn't go in because she didn't let Jews into her home. Is that reasoning or hatred or jealousy? Pick one, move on. We officially cut the ties btw. Recently, against her will we have had to see her The best part for you? (and me) She makes her point by hiding in the wine cellar (freezing cold) or leaving the minute we enter the door. (My mil lives with them so we take her out.)

My favorite? Asking my bil about him and he'll talk for an hour. She sat in her car in 100 degree heat so as not to talk to us. And she was in the wine cellar for 45 minutes...almost turned blue. Yes, passive/aggressive...but gosh, it works. Be appropriate, be the lady you are and know that you will infuriate her more by refusing to engage.

Munchkin03 · #2 07-26-2011, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellebud

We didn't go into their house for 28 years. We didn't go in because she didn't let Jews into her home. Is that reasoning or hatred or jealousy? Pick one, move on. We officially cut the ties btw.

What is up with your in-laws and the anti-Semitism? I mean, really. I thought I got a lot of it during my failed attempt at conversion but this takes the cake.

ellebud · #3 07-26-2011, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

What is up with your in-laws and the anti-Semitism? I mean, really. I thought I got a lot of it during my failed attempt at conversion but this takes the cake.

I sent you a pm.

Jill1228 · #4 07-26-2011, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

What is up with your in-laws and the anti-Semitism? I mean, really. I thought I got a lot of it during my failed attempt at conversion but this takes the cake.

OMG, girl! Your SIL is a hot mess!

I thought mine was bad. DH and I have never been inside my BIL and SIL's house either. However, they have been to ours (only because we had MIL move with us). Now that MIL is gone, and BIL can't sponge off anymore $ from her we won't be seeing them. BTW, MIL didn't have much, we are the ones that supplemented her each month

AOII Angel · #5 07-26-2011, 06:51 PM

My SIL called my husband last week saying that their mother was going to give her money to drive to Phoenix to live with us until she found a job.

What? And who invited her? My husband asked if she had any interviews. Of course not. He also asked if she had worked out with her baby daddy that it was okay to take her son to Phoenix with her. She planned to just take him since she wants to break up with him! Double WHAT?! Anyway, my husband emphatically told her that we do not have a guest room and would not welcome her to kidnap her child and hide him in our home away from his father. He also told her that he would appreciate if their mother would stop hatching hairbrained plans involving us supporting his sister and her baby. BTW, she has a college degree but won't keep a job. Yippee! I prefer when I'm not communicating with my inlaws.