Engaged Encounter

[BraveMaroon]

My husband and I did pre-counseling with our minister, and it was a mixed bag - though mostly positive.

I grew up in a mixed-religion household where we never went to Temple or Church and my husband went to Baptist Church every Wednesday and twice on Sundays til he was 18, then stopped for reasons to lengthy to go into here.

Regardless, we opted for a Judeo-Christian ceremony, and the minister, who was a friend of my father's, insisted we have 6 sessions of counseling.

Some of it was great - one question that sticks with me today is one that asked, "When you are sick, what does 'being taken care of' look like to you?" Which is great - because when I'm sick, leave a glass of juice at the door and leave me the hell alone. But when he's sick, he needs a lot of face time and popsicles.

What wasn't great is that in our first session, our minister started talking about how it was God's commandment to fill the Earth with children, and how they were arrows in our quiver. Well, we had already decided we weren't looking to have kids and we explained that to him. He insisted that it was God's commandment to fill the Earth, to which my husband replied, "Well, the Earth's pretty full." The minister said we could think about it and discuss it later.

I remember getting into the car and driving back to my apartment and we laughed the whole time.

We also had a running gag that kept us united. There's an old joke where God comes to Adam and offers him a perfect helpmate- beautiful, kind, loving... All he has to do is give up a leg. To which Adam replies, "What can I get for a rib?"

So, this would come up in our workbooks from time to time, and I would always get out my highlighter and underline "rib", and show it to my husband, and he'd elbow me and give me a look, and try not to laugh.

Good times. Granted, we've only been married five years, but I think it helped a lot.