How Moms Should Treat Their Legacy Daughters

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by dgdramadawg

Okay, story, then a question:

I recently spoke with a girl from my church who will be going through recruitment at an SEC school in the fall. Her mom was Greek at this school, but she decided to ask me for some recruitment advice. Even though I did not attend the school the PNM will be rushing at, I gave her the usual standard SEC recruitment advice and told her that she might want to ask her mom for more information specific to this school.

Then I offered to write her a recommendation for Delta Gamma, and she responded: "My mom won't let me get recommendations for other chapters because she says the only one she will pay for me to be in is [her own chapter]."

This is an SEC school with what is considered a VERY competitive recruitment. The PNM's mother is a member of a very sought-after chapter on that campus, and being a legacy does not in any way guarantee this PNM a bid in any situation, but especially when she is an out-of-state PNM who knows no one in the chapter.

1. WHY would this mom sabotage her daughter's recruitment by refusing to allow her daughter to seek recommendations for or even consider membership in any other chapter?

2. The larger issue: I would expect that most mothers would love for their daughters to join them as sisters... but how should moms treat their legacy daughters with respect to recruitment? Is there a way for a mother to encourage her daughter to consider her own house more heavily without destroying her chances at every other house on campus?

1. I bet mom doesn't know that she is sabotaging her daughter's recruitment. Odds are, in her chapter, while she was there legacy=in. She's probably not aware of how things have changed. Also possible is that she really only would want her daughter in her GLO and doesn't care about her daughter's happiness beyond that.

2. I think moms can talk up their college sorority experience, their philanthropy and the reasons why XYZ was good for them. But they shouldn't push or pressure or expect that their daughter fits into the XYZ niche at Campus U. I do like that so many of our national sites have links for parents to read, but I think the college panhellenics may need to reach out to the parents more in these cases. They have to learn about how things have changed somehow. (And obviously moms need to be willing to listen to college panhellenics too)