Mutual selection?

[myopicsunflower]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

It's simple: collegiate chapters are designed to recruite new members. Alumnae chapters are designed to enable alumnae to continue in the group they joined after they leave college. They are NOT meant to recruit - they are meant to be a continuation from college.

Cosign with my Triad Sister on this.

Originally Posted by OPhiAGinger

I'm not suggesting that sororities must accept everyone who expresses an interest. Of course not!

But I feel bad for Patty PNAM, waiting around for Abigail Alumna to recognize what a fantastic sister she would be. This is analogous to the way well-bred young ladies in my mother's generation had to wait for men to ask them out. It was scandalous for the girls to ask a boy out back in the day. Why is it so wrong for Patty to express her interest? How will Abi know Patty is even interested otherwise? Maybe it's time for this social norm to catch up with other social norms, and encourage women to take more direct ownership of their own happiness rather than just waiting around for something to fall into their lap.

If Patty PNAM would truly be a fantastic sister, Abigail Alumna would see it without Patty calling her attention to it and, if Abigail's GLO initiates alumnae, she could bring up the subject. Abigail would know whether or not Patty was sister material for one or more of the following reasons:

A) Patty was already one of Abigail's good friends and demonstrated the traits and values that Abigail's GLO holds dear (and I add that traits and values part because just because someone is a rockin' friend doesn't necessarily mean she'd be a good sister),

B) Patty had been helping Abigail's GLO in some way and had a proven track record, or

C) Patty's daughter/stepdaughter/niece/etc was a sister of Abigail's GLO and had supported the sisterhood for some time.

Let me also add that Abigail Alumna may be best friends with Nancy Non-Greek, and Nancy might be an exceptional woman with multiple Nobel Peace Prizes, a load of Olympic Gold Medals, and a patent on the cure for cancer, but she may not be interested in alumnae initiation, even if Abigail wants to sponsor her and brings up the topic.