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  #24  
Old 10-10-2008, 10:58 AM
Gretchen W Gretchen W is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticCat View Post
I really hope this is a joke. Because if this is your idea of how to deal with the situation, you and he have a lot of trouble ahead of you.
No, it's about you and him. She's just a symptom. Even if the way he acts with her makes you feel like he doesn't care about you any more, that's a problem between you and him. If it hadn't been this study partner, it would have been someone or something else.

You need to ask yourself these questions (among others) and answer them honestly.

Do you trust him?

If not, why not?

If so, does he know you trust him?

Then, you and he need to have honest conversations about all of this. And I would strongly suggest pre-marital counseling. (I don't think any couple should get married without it.)

ETA:
See, this what makes me think it's about you and him. Like I said, if it weren't her, it would be someone or something else.

Could it be that, now that y'all are living together, he's having second thoughts, too? Maybe this is how he's dealing with those second thoughts and communicating them to you.

I really hope you and he can find a way to talk about all of this.
*laughing* no it's not a joke, and I wouldn't do that to him. I was just typing out of frustration.

I trust him, but I don't like the situation. I don't trust her around him. I haven't asked him if he knows I trust him. I'm thinking he does. We're going to be going to pre-marital counseling, closer to our wedding. MysticCat, thanks for all of this. I'm going to have a one on one talk with him tonight and see how he feels. He already knows how I feel. I've already expressed that to him.

It very well could be about us, but it really seems like he's really into her. She calls him on the phone and they talk for about 30 minutes. The conversation right off sounds like it's about school, but then he walks outside or somewhere else where I can't hear the conversation. It's a lot, and some things come to mind as I type. But I'll talk to him tonight.

Thanks MysticCat.
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