What defines a helicopter parent?

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by EE-BO

I think we are suddenly seening so many HMs on GC since it is now obvious that they will be given a voice here they should not have. It is just like what happened when the AI forum promoted sorority shopping here- it eventually drew a crowd.

I am not a parent yet, but just from my life observations I think helicoptering is basically when a parent progressively resists the need to let a child make independent decisions and learn from mistakes. Such parents like to think they just love their kids and take better care of them than other parents, but that is a way to deny the very selfish and control-freak urge in them that thinks of children almost like pets in a way.

That is the mentality I have observed in friends of mine who had HMs.

I think it gets bad in sorority rush since that is a time when a young lady is expected to do her homework and present herself on her own merits and effort. Naturally an alumna parent can be in the background helping with recs and other tips- but when Mom actually starts making herself a visible presence is when I think a big line is crossed.

It could come in any form- be it coming here to whine or calling up nationals etc.- but the line is crossed, in my opinion, when Mom makes herself a visible presence at a point when she should not be in the picture at all.

I agree.

Having Helimoms & dads are a big part of millennials' lives and how they were raised.

In t-ball, there were no "winners or losers".. everyone got participation trophies instead. The kids grew up so used to getting everything that all of a sudden when they are turned loose into the real world there are parents demanding to know why their precious top notch daughter got cut, or why their smart son didn't get the job he wanted.

Sorry to say, but that's life.

As a parent you don't want to see your kiddos hurt, but it's NOT your job to whine about it. It's your job to be there to support the kids going through their rough patch.

I think the line is cross like EE-BO said when the parent isn't just watching from the sidelines anymore. They're front and center - giving us the play by play of their stellar daughter/son's rush.

I think if those young men & women really wanted their story posted on the internet, they should be perfectly capable to post it themselves. They should also be perfectly capable to ask the questions they have ON THEIR OWN.

My parents did not take part in me looking at colleges. They told me to figure out which ones I was interested in and if I wanted to we'd go visit them. My mom didn't ask random questions on internet chat boards about recs or sororities or rush or anything. I told them I was interested in joining a sorority. My mom said "Great - tell us how that goes for you". My parents also did not take part in my job hunt after I graduated. Why? Because I am independent and capable of doing all those things for myself.