IASK,
I didn't see the documentary (had some other very time-consuming stuff going on that didn't allow me to watch) - however, I guess it strikes me that, really, what we are facing today, e.g., teenage pregnancy...well, unfortunately, it's really not a new phenom in our community. How many of us come from single parent families? parents who were teenagers at the time of our births? The newsflash is that single parent families have been everpresent in AA families since the days of the migrations when AA women brought their kids up north and many fathers stayed home. I'm sorry, this is not a new phenom. And the men should be ashamed. In the 60's and 70's there were teenage mothers. I know as many of my friends came from parents who were teenage mothers (and we are in our 30s). Newsflash, we need to get it together b/c all of this stuff (like kids thinking about things that are way too mature for their little minds) is not new to the 21st century. For example, when I was growing up, I had a mother and a father in the home. However, I was aware of their bills and that we couldn't go on every field trip b/c we just didn't have the money...and I'm a 70's baby from a 2-parent blue collar household. If you would have asked me what I would buy with 50 dollars, I probably would have said a doll. But who knows, I might have said that I would give the money to my parents so that they could go grocery shopping. Who knows...b/c goodness knows that we ate hot dogs every kind of way that they could be made. And I'm not joking. My point is that it's not a new phenomenon so I caution us about condemning this generation. The fact of the matter is that, newsflash, many of them *come from* broken homes - meaning that someone of an earlier generation failed them. They didn't come up with this stuff all by themselves. It is so easy to sit back and say, we were so much better than you guys. But the fact of the matter is that, they come from us. These girls and guys having babies as teens - most of them come from households that are a mess. Guess what, those households come from households that were a mess too. I think that the only solution is to own up to it, we have failed some of these kids, and we need to start fixing our own crap.
SC
Quote:
Originally Posted by I.A.S.K.
Black In America was...interesting to some degree. I found some of the stories worth watching (the guy who was paying kids to learn and a few others) but overall I would say I am only shocked that there weren't segement titles like "baby mama" and "get yo swirl on: Interracial dating".
One thing that really was not talked about was the fact that many black children do not have childhoods. When the kids who were getting paid for grades were asked what they wanted to do with their money their answers were "help my daddy pay rent" and "save for tuition and maybe a home one day (I loved this answer! You go girl!)" while these are great things for young black people to be concerned about we still have to consider that these kids are like 9. Black kids are usually forced to face drugs, sex, mortality, financial issues, homelessness, joblessness, and stress at the level of adults and no one seems to notice. Depending on your age and how you grew up if you ask yourself what you would have done with 50 or 60 dollars when you were 9 you'd probably say buy toys or something a lot less adult than pay rent.
I did not see mental health is the documentary. Did I miss that part?
What is up with everyone saying "she should have kept her legs closed" ? I fully understand that women are responsible for their part in making babies out of wedlock, but is there ever going to be a day when someone says "keep it in your pants". As a YBW I have realized and partially accepted the fact that I am more responsible for any actions between me and the male kind. Don't like it, but it is what it is I guess.
Young men get condoms; young women get condemned.
I was watching Divorce Court and for 3 episodes in a row the judge told women that they should have considered the fact that a man can walk away at anytime and the high divorce rate before they decided to lay down and have children. While this is true partly, the judge was talking to married women. If you can't expect the man that you marry and make vows to to take of your children (that you two made together) then what should be done. Should everyone remain childless?
Another note on child rearing...I worry so much about what will happen to future generations because there is so little guidance. I look at my cousin who is 16 with a baby and I wonder what is he going to teach her? What morals and ideals will he instill in her? What values will he teach? What can he teach? He hasn't lived long enough to learn how to succeed in this world so how is he going to teach his daughter to do so? He thinks that feeding, clothing, providing a roof over her head and checking her homework is all a parent does. While that is a major part of parenthood there is so much more to it. Since thats all his parents did (and they didnt do that all of his life) that's what he thinks he needs to do. His mom's mom was 15 when she had his mom. His mom was 15 when she had him and now he's 16 with a baby and has no idea how to raise her. He thinks its cool that she looks just like him. My mom (who had me after 30) showed me bookmarks and pamphlets about success and spirituality and books on a wide range of topics and told me that those were the things she tried to instill in me. She said she may have come up short on some of them, but she did the best she could. My cousin is almost half the age my mom was and he doesn't even like to read. God forbid he read something about parenting or anything not required for school. His mind is on playing baskteball for the highschool next year not saving for his daughter's tuition. At one point when someone became a teen parent they let their dreams go in hopes that they would be able to make their child's dreams possible and one day (after the child is grown) go back to making their own dreams happen. While it is not entirely necessary to give up your dreams so your child can succeed most teen parents these days don't even consider that an option.
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