I need advice about the boyfriend... (this is long)

[ausguals]

Thank you guys so much for the help! When I wrote that it was so late and none of my friends were up and my mom (who i usually go to) was asleep.

Basically, what I did first was sent him an e-mail. I know that sounds incredibly bad, but I'm terrible with bringing things like this up (I have a hard time explaining myself vocally--I'm much more of a writer). When I finally talked to him on the phone, I guess he was a little drunk. He first said he was "offended" (A little understandable, because it seemed to him like this was coming out of nowhere.) When I finally started telling him what I meant about things, he said that "Relationships are not 50/50 and that there has to be some sacrifice". Then I calmly explained that yes, actually, relationships should strive to be as equal as possible and that the only sacrificing that was being done was on my part and that wasn't fair. He asked me what I had sacrificed and I listed a few things (college, money, things like that). When I switched the question back on him, he answered with "my life." and completely voided me out, just to be an asshole. (Please keep in mind he was a little drunk.) I mentioned to him today that he couldn't even sacrifice cigarettes for me and he sighed real hard and I think he got the point. Anyways, from here on out I pretty much told him I couldn't be with him if he wasn't able to own up to the fact that he wasn't pulling his weight the way I was over-hauling mine. We got off the phone and he called me a little later and was incredibly upset..which is fine, but I told him he had a lot of growing up to do, and he was all "hah, I live by myself, have a full time job...etc etc"..and I had to interrupt him and say that he had a lot of growing up to do when it came to relationships (Family, friends, me, etc.) He didn't disagree. I told him we were on two completely different levels on that aspect and while I do love him and want to be with him, I wasn't really going to put up with him not compromising or anything anymore.



I do have to admit that while he sounds like a COMPLETE asshole, this really isn't the whole story. The boy has done amazing things for me, periodically. I have to stress that because he really isn't a bad person, he just has the tenancy to be selfish...obviously...and I think he was a little surprised last night when I stood up to him and told him that I wasn't having it anymore, even if it seemed to him like it was coming from nowhere. It's not like I have been passive towards him the entire relationship, at all, but it is very rare for either one of us to directly say something has been internally bugging one of us...mostly we just fight over little things, if at all.

I'll let you know how things play out from here, I guess.