It's always hard to see people we love in situations we hate. But, since these women are grown, they, as you know, are the only ones who can do anything about it.
Perhaps you should keep a detailed log for a month... and after that month, when one of them starts to complain about things, you can hand her the log and say, "Look. Just look at this. Then tell me if this is just going to be another complaint, or if you're actually going to do anything about it."
I can see how this is draining for you. And I can see why your other mutual friends have given up. What would your two relationship-challenged friends say if they read your post?
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Never let the facts stand in the way of a good answer. -Tom Magliozzi
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