"The Dreaded Phone Call"

[UGAalum94]

It's really interesting to me that you think the party lists are privileged membership selection. I don't think that way at all.
Once the list comes out of the meeting to be sent to panhellenic to match with PNMs, I don't think it's private MS anymore. (I mean, just the list of names stops being MS. How you developed the list is still MS.)

ETA: Respect for the alumna IS really the only reason that I think the calls should be made, but for me, that would be enough. And again, I only mean for groups that have set up the expectation she be called. If we are talking about changing policies, I don't know that this notification has to be a phone call before the PNM receives her invite list. But I think it might be wise for groups to try to reach out in some way to the alumna because the rejection of someone in her immediate family might create some complicated feelings. Maybe it could be a well-thought-out, composed-by-the-national/international GLO letter: I have no idea. It's just been my experience that people take their family members pretty personally and reaching out to a member after you cut her daughter or sister might be a gesture of good will.

I also don't think recruitment party lists or invite lists are the kind of thing that we should worry about keeping tightly within the bounds of privacy. I don't mean that we should post them publicly (although I think bid day new member lists being publicly available are fine), but that calling a girl's mother, grandmother, or sister to tell them the name of one PNM who isn't invited back, isn't a big privacy violation. From my perspective, the call doesn't have that much to do with the PNM anyway; it's all about the relationship with the alumna.

Again, I'm not saying that groups should have to take legacies if they don't want them. Other than sending a recommendation or legacy notification, I don't think the alumna should try to influence MS. But once the chapter has made the decision, notifying her isn't too much to ask, IMO.