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[CutiePie2000]

Originally Posted by carnation

...... I'll probably have to go the passive aggressive route, as suggested by APhiAnna, or the one suggested by CutiePie2000 so as to save face for her and keep family peace. Ironically, she would make a great AI and probably throw herself into it 100%. But dang! Why is she embarrassing us all like this?

Hi Carnation,
Who knows why people do the things that they do(??), but as she is a family member or an extended family-relative (etc.), it's probably best to deal with it delicately.

In some ways, if she AI'd and would be an active alumna who would support the collegiate chapter, then encourage her to do so and go that route. As for what happened in the past, give her an opportunity to explain herself, but if the explanation doesn't happen, maybe just let it go and encourage her to AI into ABC.

Let us know how it all turns out.

[Just interested]

Is it possible she pledged and didn't make her grades?? In the olden days, you pledged in August but didn't initiate until March or April. I also have friends who pledged and then transfered to another school without a chapter of ABC before they were initiated. Is that a possibility? I do agree with Cutie Pie 2000, keep the peace, it is family and if she would make at great AI, they are few and far between so it would be an honor, encourage her to go for it. It will be up to her to explain herself.

[Titchou]

Originally Posted by Just interested

I also have friends who pledged and then transfered to another school without a chapter of ABC before they were initiated. Is that a possibility?

I have a friend who did this and insists on saying she's an "AA". The next question is always "where" and then she fesses up that she pledged at XYZ University but tranferred to ABC College before she was initiated. Burns me up!

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by CutiePie2000

.
PS You could also play dumb and ask her, "Do you think that you will AI into ABC? To do so, you cannot have initiated into any other NPC group. Did you initiate into any other NPC group during college?" and then see what she says. If she says no, ask her if she ever had any ties to DEF? And then see what she says. My point is, if you ask her anything where she might get defensive, you might not get the straight up answer.

good luck and let us know what happens, as I'm curious now - LOL.

this sounds like the best solution by far. how ironic and sad that she may miss an opportunity to enjoy sisterhood in a wonderful sorority, all because she is posing as a DEF.

[CutiePie2000]

I'm curious to know how this all turned out. Any updates, carnation?

[carnation]

Much later update. Screaming into my pillow here--

because my high school daughter said, "I know where I can get a DEF recommendation! D says she was a DEF!"

Aaaaaaaaacckkk! Aaaaaack!

[AnchorAlumna]

Sounds like it's time for a throwdown!
Good luck!

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by Gusteau

"Listen ho, stop playin'!"

*snicker*

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by carnation

Much later update. Screaming into my pillow here--

because my high school daughter said, "I know where I can get a DEF recommendation! D says she was a DEF!"

Aaaaaaaaacckkk! Aaaaaack!

THE CONFRONTATION APPROACHES!! I can't wait to hear this play out!

[WCsweet<3]

I'm all for saving face, but it's three years later. Time for "Listen ho, stop playin'!" She is messing with your daughter now!

Though I'm curious to know how she would respond to your daughter asking for a rec.

[Splash]

Why don't you just ask her non-aggressively as suggested? Almost everything in this thread is an assumption or hearsay. You might very well be dead right, but you should at least know the facts to properly handle what to do next.

[carnation]

I do know the facts! She's definitely not a DEF. My daughter won't need a DEF rec because that group isn't at her college but I'm tempted to get her to ask D for one to see how she reacts.

[DubaiSis]

With all your connections, couldn't she get an AI somewhere? I mean, there ARE alternatives to lying about it. Maybe that's the way to approach it, just to see what happens - hey, I was talking about this thing my sorority does and pretty much all the sororities do and it seems like something you'd be into. No, I'm not suggesting you put her up for AI in your sorority (and please don't put her up to MINE) but the fact is it does exist, she may be in a position to be well-received, and it would out her all at the same time.

[amIblue?]

I think you should have your daughter ask her for a rec.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by amIblue?

I think you should have your daughter ask her for a rec.

DEFINITELY!!!!!