advice for PNM please!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by lovedbyloving

So a couple of you guys came on a little strong
I'm nervous enough as is, you don't have to be rude about it.
I have personal reasons for eliminating the VERY FEW sororities (don't want to give exact number that could reveal school) that I have.

I've already been at the school one semester and formed my own opinions about the girls that I have met personally. Please don't tell me to keep an open mind, trust me, I'm doing that already!
Plus I think I have an advantage seeing some greek women outside of rush and pledge semesters, I got to see the activities they do and how they act as a group.

I'm doing everything I can to get more recs..ugh

Thanks to everyone offering advice.

Forgive me if you think I am being rude.

With all due respect, you did ask for advice and I think the advice you've been given is very realistic.

I don't think that telling a PNM that some of her favorites may not choose to invite her back is rude. It's very possible. It is also more possible for a PNM at a competitive school who is lacking recs.

Note: If you're eliminating sororities before recruitment has even started, you're actually not being open-minded. Being open minded involves waiting until recruitment to form your opinions.

You can't really "know" a chapter after being on campus one semester and meeting a few girls in it.

Another good piece of advice: one group of women that you may know, does not constitute an entire chapter. So while you may know some women in a chapter, it's not wise to form an opinion of a chapter based on the girls you know. It's the same as if someone met a couple of your friends and presumed to know whether they liked you or not. It makes no sense.

The bottom line on this is that you never know how recruitment will play out, and it's best not to rule out a chapter early in the game. Especially if you are at a competitive school.

You're certainly allowed to have whatever opinions you want and you're allowed to rule out whichever chapters you wanr. However, all we're saying is that ruling chapters out prematurely does not help your chances at having a successful recruitment.

[FSUZeta]

Originally Posted by lovedbyloving

So a couple of you guys came on a little strong
I'm nervous enough as is, you don't have to be rude about it.
I have personal reasons for eliminating the VERY FEW sororities (don't want to give exact number that could reveal school) that I have.

I've already been at the school one semester and formed my own opinions about the girls that I have met personally. Please don't tell me to keep an open mind, trust me, I'm doing that already!
Plus I think I have an advantage seeing some greek women outside of rush and pledge semesters, I got to see the activities they do and how they act as a group.

I'm doing everything I can to get more recs..ugh

Thanks to everyone offering advice.

we're just trying to give you the opportunity to have the most successful recruitment that you can. it is certainly your perogative to do what you wish with the information provided.

[Zillini]

Originally Posted by circlet

The Greek Life office at the school I am attending in the fall suggests that we send a resume, transcript and picture with each rec. If I am unsuccessful (I hope this won't happen) in securing a rec for a particular sorority, would you suggest sending the packet of information without the rec? FYI...this is a southern university with a highly competitive recruitment. Thank you!

I cannot speak for other Chapters, but we receive several transcripts and resumes from PNMs who were not able to secure Recs from alums. While we cannot give "Rec credit", we will read your info. If you have more activities/info listed on your resume than was on your Recruitment application (perhaps due to space limitations) then it's good to do. If it is the same, then there is no need to send one.

A final transcript is helpful and appreciated to guarantee a Chapter has an accurate GPA listed for a PNM. Also, if your school has some funky grading system then please include an official explanation. Note: not your personal explanation, we need something official. Check with your HS or maybe you can print a policy off of their website.

An even better suggestion, look at the University's grading scale. If they are on a 4.0 then that's what the sororities are using. When you go to your HS to pick up an official copy of your transcript, have someone there convert it to that scale, write it on the transcript and SIGN the transcript as an official representative of the HS.

(What is up with some of the High Schools? I've seen so many weird/non-traditional grading scales. One that sticks out in my mind was on a 4.38 scale. What is up with that? A 4.0, 5.0, 6.0 or even 100 I understand, but a 4.38? How bizarre! If I hadn't read the transcript we probably wouldn't have caught it. We would have assumed it was a 4.0 scale and the PNM would not have made our GPA minimum, but once converted she did.)

[circlet]

Zillini...thank you for your response. Hopefullly I will not need to resort to sending the packet without a rec. One more question...I attended school at my University this summer (a requirement for one of the programs I am involved in) and received 10 hours of credit. Do I need to inform each sorority or will they only care about my high school GPA?

[lovedbyloving]

You're certainly allowed to have whatever opinions you want and you're allowed to rule out whichever chapters you wanr. However, all we're saying is that ruling chapters out prematurely does not help your chances at having a successful recruitment.

fair enough.
thanks to all who have responded.

[perfectinpurple]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Another good piece of advice: one group of women that you may know, does not constitute an entire chapter. So while you may know some women in a chapter, it's not wise to form an opinion of a chapter based on the girls you know. It's the same as if someone met a couple of your friends and presumed to know whether they liked you or not. It makes no sense.

Well said! So many times I think PNMs have a negative opinion of one member and assume the rest of the chapter is exactly the same. It's an unfair bias that I think a lot of PNMs carry into recruitment while still believing that they "have an open mind".

Just saying, first impressions aren't always accurate.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by lovedbyloving

So a couple of you guys came on a little strong
I'm nervous enough as is, you don't have to be rude about it.
I have personal reasons for eliminating the VERY FEW sororities (don't want to give exact number that could reveal school) that I have.

I've already been at the school one semester and formed my own opinions about the girls that I have met personally. Please don't tell me to keep an open mind, trust me, I'm doing that already!
Plus I think I have an advantage seeing some greek women outside of rush and pledge semesters, I got to see the activities they do and how they act as a group.

I'm doing everything I can to get more recs..ugh

Thanks to everyone offering advice.

That's unfortunate that you find answers to your questions rude.

The point I was making is that you already wrote groups off for personal reasons, and to be blunt every group changes every year (even a semester) with women graduating, transferring, maturing, moving out of house, studying abroad, and so on, and though you claim to have an open mind, you in fact don't. I don't care about your reasons, but a truly open mind would go to recruitment with no preconceived notions and give every group a chance to show who they are. If you can live with the fact you're limiting yourself and therefore lessening your chances of joining a sorority, then so be it, but don't say nobody warned you.

[pshsx1]

Originally Posted by Zillini

(What is up with some of the High Schools? I've seen so many weird/non-traditional grading scales. One that sticks out in my mind was on a 4.38 scale. What is up with that? A 4.0, 5.0, 6.0 or even 100 I understand, but a 4.38? How bizarre! If I hadn't read the transcript we probably wouldn't have caught it. We would have assumed it was a 4.0 scale and the PNM would not have made our GPA minimum, but once converted she did.)

Maybe it's because of honors classes? At my high school, Honors classes were graded on a 4.5 scale and AP and IB classes were on a 5.0 scale.

So maybe it's along those lines...

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by pshsx1

Maybe it's because of honors classes? At my high school, Honors classes were graded on a 4.5 scale and AP and IB classes were on a 5.0 scale.

So maybe it's along those lines...

If it was something like 4.5 it would be different. I don't know, but 4.38 seems like a really arbitrary number to me.

ETA: How do you convert that to a normal scale?

[Just interested]

Circlet, I'm not for sure how it works but I think summer grades are helpful. Don't quote me, however. I know at UT, some girls have to go to summer school for final admittance to the university, maybe that's my confusion about their importance.

[circlet]

Thanks Just Interested. I understand what you are saying. My classes weren't for that though. The summer school component is a requirement of the program. It is the only way you can finish all of the requirements during your undergrad. I didn't want to "throw up a red flag" by not reporting it to the sororities. Actually, I'm very happy with my grades and think they might shine favorably. However, I secured most of my recs before I left in May (knowing I would be gone this summer) and did not have my summer school grade yet. So, I guess I'm asking if I should just leave well enough alone and stand on my high school resume or send some type of additional note with my college transcript. Perhaps I'm just thinking about this too much!

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by circlet

Thanks Just Interested. I understand what you are saying. My classes weren't for that though. The summer school component is a requirement of the program. It is the only way you can finish all of the requirements during your undergrad. I didn't want to "throw up a red flag" by not reporting it to the sororities. Actually, I'm very happy with my grades and think they might shine favorably. However, I secured most of my recs before I left in May (knowing I would be gone this summer) and did not have my summer school grade yet. So, I guess I'm asking if I should just leave well enough alone and stand on my high school resume or send some type of additional note with my college transcript. Perhaps I'm just thinking about this too much!

Definitely send your college grades to them. It actually does give them more information about your ability to handle college classes.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by lovedbyloving

Thank you guys so much, this has been really helpful.
I'm currently emailing every single female teacher I had in highschool to see if they were greek.

Teachers are a great place to start! There are other people you could ask too. Don't forget:

Older friends from HS
Friends of your older siblings
Older siblings of your friends
Parents' friends
Friends' moms
Coworkers/bosses
women from your place of worship
coaches/activity sponsors/school staff

Remember that when you find one Greek, she (or he!) will almost certainly know other Greeks. This applies to fraternity men, as well as sorority women who are in a sorority not at your school. Double check with your rec writers to see if they know alumnae from other sororities.

Do keep digging. It's good that you have "weeks" instead of "days".

[lovedbyloving]

so i just reread the entire thread and i'd like to apologize to everyone.
i said that i felt like some of you were being rude because i got defensive.
i came here to ask for advice from people who know more than i do and that's exactly what i got. it just wasn't what i was hoping to hear.
forgive me for acting the way i did.

i'm not having much luck securing more recs, but i am doing everything that i can. i've emailed all my old highschool teachers and am asking literally everyone i know. hopefully i will come upon some luck soon.

thanks everyone for the advice. it has truly made me think about the mindset i was going into rush with and i now hope that i can change it and will be able to ACTUALLY go into it with an open mind instead of just saying i am.

thanks and i'm sorry again.

also i have a thought about what someone said about sending in college grades.
my highschool transcript isn't terribly impressive, but i worked really hard my first semester at college and made a really good gpa. i feel like my college transcript is going to save me during rush! i'm glad i gave myself that opportunity to show everyone that i'm a serious student.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by lovedbyloving

i'm not having much luck securing more recs, but i am doing everything that i can. i've emailed all my old highschool teachers and am asking literally everyone i know. hopefully i will come upon some luck soon.

thanks everyone for the advice. it has truly made me think about the mindset i was going into rush with and i now hope that i can change it and will be able to ACTUALLY go into it with an open mind instead of just saying i am.

thanks and i'm sorry again.

also i have a thought about what someone said about sending in college grades.
my highschool transcript isn't terribly impressive, but i worked really hard my first semester at college and made a really good gpa. i feel like my college transcript is going to save me during rush! i'm glad i gave myself that opportunity to show everyone that i'm a serious student.

No need to apologize.

Something I wanted to note though, is that depending on where you go to school, your college GPA may not make up for your lack of recs. There are certain schools where 99% of the girls have great GPAs and multiples recs per chapter. It is tough, but some places, recs are really important.

It's August though and there may not be a whole lot you can do about lacking recs at this point. Keep trying and if you don't get them all you just have to do the best you can see what happens.