New Sister with a Chapter Problem

[ForeverRoses]

How big is your pledge class compared to the rest of the chapter? Can you create a voting bloc to get like-minded people elected to New Member Educator/Pledge Mom, etc.?
I can totally understand why you don't want to contact your HQ. I've experienced a chapter that asked HQ for help only to have them come down on us after an "investigation" (but ours wasn't for hazing).
If you, your pledge class, and other like-minded members can create a buffer between the new members and the people who want to haze, then it will be much harder for the hazers.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

I think that your new member class should refuse to come to recruitment or all request inactive status (if that's a possibility in your organization) if your sorority doesn't change its practices. Having a ton of girls not pay dues or show up at recruitment will have a bigger impact than saying that you don't like hazing.

But then if they don't show up at rush, or all go inactive, word will get around campus that something's seriously wrong and that will most likely kill the chapter anyway. The OP wants to prevent her chapter from going down the tubes.

[wildcatfan]

Originally Posted by beautifulnite12

We were hazed and I hated it, but stuck it out because my Big and the other sisters I was close to said that once I got in, I could help to change it.

Can I ask what constituted the hazing, or do you feel like that specificity would give away your location?

The reason that I ask is because I am amazed what some people consider hazing. My home chapter no longer give tests over fraternity history during pledgeship because it might be considered hazing!! oh please. I also read another post on GC that said some consider not letting pledges wear letters is hazing.

I assume from your comments the incidents were much more significant than this. To that I would ask, did they endanger life or health (ie forced alcohol consumption), were they truly degrading or just silly?

If the answer if "life endangerment", I would say tell someone--tell everyone!!--in authority right now. As an alum and a mom, I don't care NEARLY as much about my GLO as I do my daughter's (or any NM's) safety!! Period.

If the experience was degrading, I would be more apt to work within the chapter as others have suggested. Obviously it needs to be dealt with (and I'm proud of you for wanting to be the change agent), but my response might be different.

I can honestly say nothing in my pledgeship came close to hazing. It saddens me that many of the fun and meaningful experiences I had as a pledge 20+ years ago have been banned in the campaign for "no hazing", but true hazing still exists. *sigh*

[SthrnZeta]

Originally Posted by beautifulnite12

We were hazed and I hated it, but stuck it out because my Big and the other sisters I was close to said that once I got in, I could help to change it. Well, my new member class and I agreed that we would stick it out because we would be able to change it once we got in.

Back up here, there are initiated sisters who also don't agree with what's going on...? Seems to me you should have more than enough people to challenge this. How big was your pledge class in relation to the chapter size? And what sorts of hazing happened, if you don't mind sharing? (Co-sign the post above).

[exlurker]

According to an article in the Chronicle of Higher Education not too long ago, several sororities and fraternities have set up a national hotline to report hazing:

http://chronicle.com/news/article/29...and-sororities

Excerpts:
Anti-Hazing Hotline Is Set Up by 21 Fraternities and Sororities
Twenty-one fraternity and sorority organizations have teamed up to create an anti-hazing hotline that anyone can use to report incidents of hazing anonymously. The toll-free number — (888) NOT-HAZE, or (888) 668-4293 — will connect callers with a voice-mail service at the office of Manley Burke, a law firm in Cincinnati that publishes Fraternal Law, a newsletter that chronicles legal issues involving fraternities, sororities, and higher education.
Posted on Wednesday August 29, 2007 . . . .

Comments
The 21 Greek organizations responsible for this initiative include:

Fraternities
Alpha Epsilon Pi
Alpha Sigma Phi
Delta Chi
Delta Sigma Phi
Delta Tau Delta
Delta Upsilon
Kappa Alpha Order
Lambda Chi Alpha
Phi Gamma Delta
Phi Kappa Psi
Sigma Pi

Sororities
Alpha Chi Omega
Alpha Delta Pi
Alpha Epsilon Phi
Alpha Phi
Alpha Sigma Tau
Chi Omega
Gamma Phi Beta
Kappa Kappa Gamma
Sigma Sigma Sigma
Zeta Tau Alpha

[AGDee]

As a volunteer that works with collegians in our hierarchy, I would say go to someone from your headquarters instead of your Greek Advisor. I think things like this should be handled internally. From reading things on GC, it seems like the university is very quick to close a chapter whereas an international/national org has some investment in wanting to keep chapters open if at all possible, but just changing the behaviors of those chapters (especially if there have been no injuries/deaths). They would be more likely to "clean house" and rid the chapter of those who refuse to follow a "no hazing" policy. And, usually, when something like this happens, it is a small (but powerful/intimidating/bossy) group who are leading it. Almost always, there are more women against it than for it, but they are afraid to say anything. Once a Greek Advisor has the info though, anything goes... university can pull recognition, it can end up in the campus newspaper, etc.

[Elephant Walk]

Don't go to the anti-hazing hotline.

Seriously, deal it yourself, ply power around. It's not hard to change the chapter unless it's more than 200 people.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by AGDee

As a volunteer that works with collegians in our hierarchy, I would say go to someone from your headquarters instead of your Greek Advisor. I think things like this should be handled internally. From reading things on GC, it seems like the university is very quick to close a chapter whereas an international/national org has some investment in wanting to keep chapters open if at all possible, but just changing the behaviors of those chapters (especially if there have been no injuries/deaths). They would be more likely to "clean house" and rid the chapter of those who refuse to follow a "no hazing" policy. And, usually, when something like this happens, it is a small (but powerful/intimidating/bossy) group who are leading it. Almost always, there are more women against it than for it, but they are afraid to say anything. Once a Greek Advisor has the info though, anything goes... university can pull recognition, it can end up in the campus newspaper, etc.

Honestly, if you read GC, the stories of female hazing resulting in a chapter pull initiated by the university are very very few and far between. The university derecognizes the group after the national pulls the charter. The males, though - that's another story.

Once again, without knowing the kind of hazing the OP's talking about, it's very hard to make a judgement call. They beat them till they bled? Screw HQ, screw the GA, call the police. They asked them to interview a kind of gross fraternity guy? Unpleasant, yes, but is it really worth risking your charter for?

As recent initiates, they don't know what kind of history and relationship this chapter has with their HQ. If it's a small chapter, at a school with weak Greek life, without a lot of prominent alums - i.e. not a big moneymaker - rather than clean house and send volunteers to revitalize it, they're just as likely to pull the charter and be done with it.

[beautifulnite12]

Hi all - Thank you very much for all your advice! In regards to me, I was initiated last fall in our new member class of 12. Our chapter is between 50 and 60 women including the women who initiated last semester. We just had informal recruitment and now have 8 new women pledging.

My chapter is apparently not the typical chapter - we have no alumnae advisor and our only advisor on the local level is our Greek Advisor, who believe it or not is not very pro-Greek. I spoke with my Big and several other sisters who have spoken up against hazing in the past. It didn't go well for them and all that happened was that everyone got really angry and began to fight. We think that one of the reasons for that is that no one really proposed any concrete solutions for how to make all the changes while at the same time protecting chapter traditions. There is no life-threatening hazing going on (at least not unless something goes horribly wrong) - just things that are outside of our national new member program and that are not fun - actually that just plain suck for those forced to do them. (I'd rather not publicly elaborate, if that's okay.)

My new member class and I are going to bring this up at our next chapter meeting. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to present it so that it doesn't seem like we're trying to take over and so that the older sisters might be more receptive to our ideas? We want to take a stand, but also don't want to make threats that we can't/won't follow through with.

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by beautifulnite12

My new member class and I are going to bring this up at our next chapter meeting. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to present it so that it doesn't seem like we're trying to take over and so that the older sisters might be more receptive to our ideas? We want to take a stand, but also don't want to make threats that we can't/won't follow through with.

The 12 of you stand up in front of chapter and say, "Hey, there, sisters, listen: we went through the pledge process the way you wanted us to and frankly, we thought it sucked and didn't like it [or insert specific examples here] and don't want it to continue with this great new class of 8 girls or any classes in the future. We know it was done to you and you felt like you should do it to us, but we want you to know that it stops with our class. We are very proud of our letters and this chapter, but these are not traditions we're proud of or that we want to be associated with. So we will not be perpetuating these things on this new class nor will we support you in doing so. In fact, we hope to create lots of great new traditions for the pledge period and [are having a committee meeting/are planning to go to the next committee meeting] and look forward to helping these women have a phenomenal new pledge experience with our chapter. We hope as many sisters as possible will attend this meeting/will support building more sisterly pledge practices and truly live within the ideals of our founders [or insert something more touchy from your ritual or purpose here]. Thanks and hope to see you at the meeting on [day] at [time]!"

Then file back to your seats. Strength in numbers. Strength in purpose. Strength in character. Stand up to the bullies, it's what they hate the most. Treat the pledges the way you wish you'd been treated and let them know they shouldn't be made to feel "less than" by anyone that purports to call them "sister".

[AGDee]

I agree with what nittanyalum said. In addition, get the support of your Big and the other sisters who have spoken up against it before. The more of you, the better. Also, you can see if there is a way to preserve some of the tradition without the hazing. An example from years ago: One sorority did a ceremony where they each dropped a rose petal into a river. All of the members had done this. The problem? They did it in the middle of the night, rain or snow, and transported the new members while they were blindfolded. The solution? Do the ceremony, but tell the new members where they are going and do it during the daytime during good weather and don't blindfold them. They were able to turn a hazing tradition into a pretty ceremony that everybody treasured.

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

The 12 of you stand up in front of chapter and say, "Hey, there, sisters, listen: we went through the pledge process the way you wanted us to and frankly, we thought it sucked and didn't like it [or insert specific examples here] and don't want it to continue with this great new class of 8 girls or any classes in the future. We know it was done to you and you felt like you should do it to us, but we want you to know that it stops with our class. We are very proud of our letters and this chapter, but these are not traditions we're proud of or that we want to be associated with. So we will not be perpetuating these things on this new class nor will we support you in doing so. In fact, we hope to create lots of great new traditions for the pledge period and [are having a committee meeting/are planning to go to the next committee meeting] and look forward to helping these women have a phenomenal new pledge experience with our chapter. We hope as many sisters as possible will attend this meeting/will support building more sisterly pledge practices and truly live within the ideals of our founders [or insert something more touchy from your ritual or purpose here]. Thanks and hope to see you at the meeting on [day] at [time]!"

Then file back to your seats. Strength in numbers. Strength in purpose. Strength in character. Stand up to the bullies, it's what they hate the most. Treat the pledges the way you wish you'd been treated and let them know they shouldn't be made to feel "less than" by anyone that purports to call them "sister".

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by beautifulnite12

There is no life-threatening hazing going on (at least not unless something goes horribly wrong).

This is the key thing with hazing, members think it really is "just harmless fun" until something goes wrong and then your chapter gets into REAL trouble.

You have to be firm with this and ALL of you who feel that way need to stand up against it. Any animosity you feel from the older girls is nothing compared to what will happen if something does go wrong with one o the hazing events, or your HQ discovers that there's hazing going on.

Good luck to you.

[SthrnZeta]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

The 12 of you stand up in front of chapter and say, "Hey, there, sisters, listen: we went through the pledge process the way you wanted us to and frankly, we thought it sucked and didn't like it [or insert specific examples here] and don't want it to continue with this great new class of 8 girls or any classes in the future. We know it was done to you and you felt like you should do it to us, but we want you to know that it stops with our class. We are very proud of our letters and this chapter, but these are not traditions we're proud of or that we want to be associated with. So we will not be perpetuating these things on this new class nor will we support you in doing so. In fact, we hope to create lots of great new traditions for the pledge period and [are having a committee meeting/are planning to go to the next committee meeting] and look forward to helping these women have a phenomenal new pledge experience with our chapter. We hope as many sisters as possible will attend this meeting/will support building more sisterly pledge practices and truly live within the ideals of our founders [or insert something more touchy from your ritual or purpose here]. Thanks and hope to see you at the meeting on [day] at [time]!"

Then file back to your seats. Strength in numbers. Strength in purpose. Strength in character. Stand up to the bullies, it's what they hate the most. Treat the pledges the way you wish you'd been treated and let them know they shouldn't be made to feel "less than" by anyone that purports to call them "sister".

Well-said and very good advice. Best of luck to the OP and I look forward to hearing how it goes...

[ComradesTrue]

Great advice above.

I would add that you do have some strength in numbers already. With the 12 in your class, plus the 8 new members this semester, by next fall there will be 20 of you. With 50-60 currently in the house, once you factor in graduating seniors, the 20 of you should easily be half of the actives by next semester.

So, definitely take the above advice, but most of all do not get discouraged if some of the current seniors put up resistance. They won't be around much longer, and the complete change that you want to see may take more than one semester. But stick together... it can happen, and by the fall pledge calss things will be even easier numbers-wise.

[FSUZeta]

plus the op said that her big sister and some others were also against the hazing. nittanylion's advice and agdee's was really good and i hope that you will give that a try. in addition, your new members can show they have backbones by not allowing themselves to be hazed.as nancy reagan says,"just say no!" if all else fails, talk to someone at your headquarters. this needs to stop-good for you and your friends for realizing this!