Problem with former sister

jess_pom · #1 02-07-2003, 01:36 PM

A former sister who joined in Fall 2001 and disaffiliated in Spring 2002 has been causing a lot of problems for the chapter.

She pretty much dissaffiliated because of an incident with one sister. Since that time, I've seen her around campus and have been nice to her. However, after what I've heard last night, I will no longer be nice.

Our archon sat us down and said the group of girls who just got in were very nervous and scared that they joined because this former sister had approached them and told them all kinds of lies. She told them we haze, etc. She's even approached PNM's right before they came down to bid parties and told them not to join us. She's ripped down decorations from NM's door. Petty stuff like that that's hurting our reputation.

What can we do? To make matters worse, she's an RA on campus and can form Freshman opinion about us.

We really need help before this goes any further.

Thanks!

Jess

sigmadiva · #2 02-07-2003, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jess_pom

She's ripped down decorations from NM's door. Petty stuff like that that's hurting our reputation.

Jess

If you have proof of that then report her. That is vandalism. The best way to counter her antics is to be strong in your sisterhood. When people see that your chapter is happy and successful then her actions will make her look like how she is behaving, petty.

33girl · #3 02-07-2003, 03:59 PM

If she's an RA, I would go DIRECTLY to the RD (or whoever it is that's in charge of RA's) and notify them of her behavior. RA's are supposed to set examples and promote campus life in general. She might think twice about her behavior if she knows her job is in jeopardy.

SapphireSphinx9 · #4 02-07-2003, 03:59 PM

WOW! She's got some serious issues!

I think you need to contact someone on campus about her harrassment.

What about the administration above her in the dorms? There's gotta be some staff person that is in charge of the dorms that would listen. I donno, but it's a suggestion...

Definately contact the police on campus. If there is a report on file about her harrassing you all, then if something drastic happens... (let's hope it doesn't) then they have some background to it. And you have more leverage against her.

Of course you're gonna have to have some evidence of this... Obviously the numerous NM's can testify that she verbally harrassed them, but what about the vandalizim that she's done to your decorations? I mean, they're gonna want to know how you know for sure it's her.

Be prepared... It's not gonna be a walk in the park... And once she finds out that you've notified someone, it might get worse. (believe me I went through this with my old roommate, who was a NM in SP 2001....thank God she was dropped!!!) But eventually good will come from it.

I hope these suggestions helped. Good luck!

LITP~Beth

phisig4life · #5 02-07-2003, 11:31 PM

Its uncanny how similar my sitaution is w/yours. I'm a freshman and was just initiated this fall (I LOVE it). Right before initiation my big decorated my door, i came home one day to find my RA taking the decorations off my door. She made the comment that the phi sigs couldn't just put stuff up wherever they wanted. I told her that i was an NM and that it was fine with me that they but decorations on my door. She seemed really mad about that and i didn't understand why. I was talking to my big abt it and come to find out my RA had been initated the fall before me and had disaffiliated 3 weeks after initation. Now that i have been initiated my RA treats me WAY differently than she did before, She's harder on me about the rules and she just acts really unfriendly (before i was initated we got along really great and i almost would have considered her a friend). Its little stuff and nothing that i could really prove so there isn't much i can do about it but i am definatley moving off campus next year.

CasAngel35 · #6 03-10-2003, 05:38 PM

Just to clarify Jess, I know this is a little late, but I haven't had a chance to catch up on Greek Chat. She didn't approach us, four of us approached her, she also was not the only one who warned us about it.

Phi Sig Love and Mine,
Casey

White_Chocolate · #7 03-11-2003, 02:23 PM

and i thought that we were the only ones dealing with psychos

amyleigh · #8 03-12-2003, 07:00 PM

I was an RA my senior year and can tell you it was a real job. Talk to her supervisor and things will change. She likely gets room and board for being an RA and she will not want to jeopordize that.

As for dealing with psychos or unruley disaffiliates, never stoop to their level. Continue to uphold your honor and traditions. Be nice and warm to prospectives. People can see for themselves who is the psycho and who they want to associate with. If someone asks you about the lies they heard from a disaffiliate, be open and honest, without putting anyone down. If PSSs continue to show their grace through bad times, it will be obvious who is right and who is just bitter.

It takes a very strong person to turn the other cheek.
Amy

phisig_kuuipo · #9 04-07-2003, 07:28 AM

This wannabe is apparently looking for a reaction. She will go away when she realizes that you don't care what she does or says. Shrug it off, suck it up, & keep moving forward.