New Sister with a Chapter Problem

beautifulnite12 · #1 02-24-2008, 09:46 PM

Hi ya'll. I have a problem and I'm a little lost about what to do about it. I was recently initiated into my GLO (NPC) and wanted to depledge. We were hazed and I hated it, but stuck it out because my Big and the other sisters I was close to said that once I got in, I could help to change it. Well, my new member class and I agreed that we would stick it out because we would be able to change it once we got in. Now that we're in, no one wants to listen to us and make changes. My new member class doesn't want to do to other girls what was done to us and I don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

AOII_LB93 · #2 02-24-2008, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beautifulnite12

Hi ya'll. I have a problem and I'm a little lost about what to do about it. I was recently initiated into my GLO (NPC) and wanted to depledge. We were hazed and I hated it, but stuck it out because my Big and the other sisters I was close to said that once I got in, I could help to change it. Well, my new member class and I agreed that we would stick it out because we would be able to change it once we got in. Now that we're in, no one wants to listen to us and make changes. My new member class doesn't want to do to other girls what was done to us and I don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

I would assume that you HQ has a no tolerance policy for hazing? Perhaps you should contact them.

beautifulnite12 · #3 02-24-2008, 09:58 PM

We had talked about that... but we don't know who to contact at our HQ and while we were pledging, we were told that if we reported it, no one would talk to us and that HQ might not even believe us. Also, we don't want the chapter to be closed down since we just got initiated, but we really want it all to stop. I guess we just don't know what to do and were hoping someone had been in this situation before.

GC200823 · #4 02-24-2008, 10:01 PM

You should be able to contact anyone at your HQ about it, if hazing is going on in your chapter and all of your pledge sisters can vouch that it happened, HQ is going to believe you and make an investigation. I know you don't want to have your chapter close but this is serious and think of all of the other future new members that may have to go through this.

KSUViolet06 · #5 02-24-2008, 10:01 PM

Does your new member manual have a section on hazing? Tri Sigma's does. Maybe you could point that out to the new girls. Also, you could just refuse to participate in hazing and let the new girls know that those activities are not in accordance with your policies.

If the entire new member class refuses to participate in hazing and YOUR whole class won't either, they'll just have to deal with it. I mean they want to have a chapter, so it's not like they can kick you ALL out.

This may sound a little nuts but if nobody agrees to do any of it, they'll just have to gt over it and find some new activities.

Also you can ALWAYS contact your HQ about hazing. And yes, they WILL look into it. Chapters are not always closed for hazing. HQ does an investigation before they make judgements like that. In some cases, if they can determine who specifically was doing the hazing, they will just terminate those people.

Zeta13Girl · #6 02-24-2008, 10:09 PM

You can also contact the greek life advisor on your campus. Maybe your pledge class can go in together to talk to him/her. Part of their job is to know how to handle and take care of these situations.

We had a sorority that got caught for hazing and while they didnt close the chapter they offered alumnae status (if they didnt accept alumnae status then they were just kicked out of the sorority) to the sisters that hazed, which was essentially the whole chapter except for the last pledge class.

UGAalum94 · #7 02-24-2008, 10:12 PM

My guess, although I fortunately have no experience in this area, is that you could talk to the advisors of your chapter as well.

No one who seriously has the best interest of the sorority in mind is going to support hazing or insist you haze.

AlphaFrog · #8 02-24-2008, 10:19 PM

You could also PM the mod of your sorority's forum or another "confirmed" member of your sorority here on GC, and they could probably point you to the right person at HQ.

ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl · #9 02-24-2008, 11:02 PM

My first reaction is to tell you to find your national website and search for contact information and inform headquarters. Then to inform your Greek advisor.

However IF you can't do that because you're too afraid of your chapter closing...honestly, I can understand that. That's a very, very hard decision. Here's the thing. If your ENTIRE pledge class will vow to REFUSE to participate in hazing, you can change it. It has to be EVERYONE in participation. But if they're willing to do it and take the crap from the older girls...because they will give you crap, understand that...for the greater good then maybe you truly can change things. They cannot kick out an entire pledge class. I'd love to see them explain to their national that they dropped their whole pledge class because they refused to haze.

Try to find sympathetic older sisters, too. Chances are someone feels like you do. When this next pledge class comes in, treat them like you should've been treated. They'll be loyal to you and not the mean older girls. And those girls will be gone soon enough. Four years from now you'll run the chapter.

Most organizations require you to report hazing or suffer punishment along with the perpetrators. Find out what your organization's position on this is. Correct protocol is to report it. But if y'all can't, I would do the above. Though by all means if you choose not to report it and you can't force change, please, please report it. I know it would be so painful for your chapter to close, but hazing is NOT RIGHT.

SthrnZeta · #10 02-24-2008, 11:12 PM

Seems simple to me, when you take a little, don't haze her. And if the rest of your pledge class agrees to do the same, hazing will eventually die out and leave with each graduating class of seniors. Just don't take part in it as a group and you will definitely make a statement.

Though someone higher up should definitely be told. I understand your fear for telling your HQ since chapters have been closed for hazing in the past. The senior sisters need to understand this could happen to them and that if an entire pledge class went to HQ, they would be believed and they need to be afraid. If they care at all about their sorority they should start doing the right thing and stop hazing before they're shut down. If it takes threatening them with this, so be it. What they did was wrong and it certainly needs to stop. NPC orgs don't play, if a girl complains that she was hazed, it WILL be investigated. NPC as a whole as a zero tolerance policy on hazing and these sisters should be very afraid of the consequences of their actions.

preciousjeni · #11 02-24-2008, 11:42 PM

In addition to all the other great advice you've been given, could you not just tell the new members that, if they feel like they're being hazed, just get out of the situation? Or go directly to one of the members of your pledge class?

aoiicutiepie14 · #12 02-25-2008, 03:23 AM

Thats kind of tough...I see your reasons for not wanting to report it to HQ...but honestly I think it needs to be done in order to ensure that hazing NEVER occurs in your chapter again. However, I think it really needs to be reported to someone.

33girl · #13 02-25-2008, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beautifulnite12

Hi ya'll. I have a problem and I'm a little lost about what to do about it. I was recently initiated into my GLO (NPC) and wanted to depledge. We were hazed and I hated it, but stuck it out because my Big and the other sisters I was close to said that once I got in, I could help to change it. Well, my new member class and I agreed that we would stick it out because we would be able to change it once we got in. Now that we're in, no one wants to listen to us and make changes. My new member class doesn't want to do to other girls what was done to us and I don't know what to do. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

When were you initiated? If it was last fall and you don't have a pledge class now, well, there's really nothing you can do about it right at this point. You can't stop something that isn't occurring.

Like SthrnZeta said...when you take a little, don't haze her, and don't allow her to be hazed by other sisters.

Actions speak louder than words. Passing a lot of bylaws and such isn't going to help - being a good sister will.

PhiGam · #14 02-25-2008, 11:55 AM

Don't go to nationals... that would destroy your entire chapter. Stand up for the pledges when its happening or refuse to be present at any such events- threatening a call to nationals if you receive punishment for your refusal to participate. Its hard to change tradition though, as you've discovered.

cuteASAbug · #15 02-25-2008, 12:20 PM

I think that your new member class should refuse to come to recruitment or all request inactive status (if that's a possibility in your organization) if your sorority doesn't change its practices. Having a ton of girls not pay dues or show up at recruitment will have a bigger impact than saying that you don't like hazing.